To feel my DP essentially kicked me out this morning?

Agreed. Neil Gaiman being the perfect example.

Sorry it’s all gone to shit OP.

I wouldn’t be impressed at being turfed out without warning, regardless of the previous conversation. If I know I’m not seeing someone I can make plans but to be binned off like that would really irritate me.

And now the total lack of care about you being in hospital…… I’d expect him to be rallying round, nine months isn’t a short time.

I think I’d be getting rid of him permanently. He’s shown that he’s selfish and only available emotionally when it suits him. You deserve much better OP. Hope you feel better soon.

I don't trust 'feminist' men.

I’m so very sorry op. Times like this you get to know who your “friends” really are. Look after yourself and get well soon.

I’ve met men like this before , they are attention seeking . Basically he can be the moody / brooding heavy one but if you are to have any basic emotional need or want to talk deeply he can’t handle it, as it’s not about him. You are definitely not being a dick here and no relationship should leave you feeling like this for the day . I would be very wary of him and it’s an immature emotional
response . Even if you were ‘trauma dumping’ as others have suggested, a grown up would console you , then lighten the mood and they certainly wouldn’t leave you hanging all day. Would you do that to him? You can tell something is off because he’s made you feel like it is so that’s your answer.

Oof, I don’t know if I believe him and don’t feel he took seriously that he hurt you by suddenly going cold. People who blow hot and cold without even being honest about it are a nightmare.

Well he sounds like he was fine with you when you were paying for everything to celebrate his bloody test. So I’d be fuming at being turfed out or whatever.

OP - my advice is to smother him in “space” and I bet he then does all the running but please don’t put all your eggs in one basket with him and try not to treat him too much. I’m not sure he’s right for you from what you’ve posted.

Is there any way he will talk to you directly and tell you what happened? Was he unwell, stressed, etc? How is he reacting to you telling him that his abrupt end of your time together hurt you?

I was thinking this.

Odd reaction by him and l would see as a red flag by him. Whether it was a big or small achievement then why wouldn't someone be allowed to talk about something else the following day? Either positive or negative?

Chuck him back. From what you’ve said, what you told him wasn’t a massive deal, not mh issues? Being effectively thrown out because he was tired (hungover, did he drink a lot when you were out celebrating?) after a night’s sleep-all a bit odd if he’s obviously made it clear he wanted rid of you. Unless he’s exceptionally sensitive-someone in his life with major mh/similar issues that have hugely affected them/his life-it’s a bit shit of him.

I’ve known more than one low energy ‘artist’ (self proclaimed) like this. One was going out with my best friend at uni. She ultimately kicked him to the kerb, because he was obviously going to make the big time y doing fuck all and waiting for his big break, but doing nothing to achieve it.

Some artists, like any profession, I guess, have what people may see as the stereotypical temperament. I’m sure there are plenty of people who excuse their crap behaviour as ‘artistic’.

I think your final paragraph may be the clue here. ‘The more you give him the less he wants to give back. He never makes plans…’

I think you need to think more about this aspect of your relationship and who’s doing most of the ‘giving’.

I also suspect that your admission has scared him off.

YANBU - his response was shitty, especially after opening up about something so vulnerable. When I had a similar conversation with my partner, after a similar time frame (including mentioning suicidal thoughts and previous self-harm issues), her response was to give me a cuddle and ask me how she can best support and help me and what I needed from her. How he responded to you screams immaturity and an inability to communicate properly, huge red flags, throw this one back OP.

Are you from the 1950's? Should we all be skipping around with a jaunty ribbon in our hair and putting a jolly smile all the time for our men? 9 months is plenty of time to build an emotional connection. You need to talk about deeper issues sometimes.

How is it ingrained misogyny to ask why you didn't just ask him what was wrong in the first place? You made a big drama over nothing by not asking a simple question. If he hadn't answered, avoided the question, gaslit you or lied, then you have problems.

Wtaf? How on earth did you summise that from the op's post? Is that how you feel about people with mental health issues? You are bang out of order

Absolutely this. 👏

She took him out to celebrate his achievement, paid for it etc. That day was all about him. The op probably felt close to him the next day and felt about to share something from her past. I think after 9 months she should be able to do that. His reaction was cold and out of order. He showed no empathy whatsoever and is telling her exactly who he is sadly

The comments here are absolutely bonkers, they boggle the mind! Trauma dumping? Seriously? He was traumatized by her sharing the past during a lazy morning in bed? Goodness me, are these the mythical women who wake up before their husbands, put on a full face of makeup and hair, and return to lie in bed with a big smile plastered on their faces? I’d hope most women have a little more self respect to think of their own needs instead of doing a whole silly dance around the man the whole weekend to big up his accomplishment - literally treating these men like children. Ugh!