Am I in the wrong to going to the hospital to check on my baby?

Definitely don’t feel bad for going down, with my first I went many times, with my second only once at 39 weeks. They decided to induce me and she was born weighing less than they’d estimated 4 weeks previously (which despite their measurements often being a bit wacky was probably not good). She was happy and healthy but the midwives strongly suspected had I not gone down we may have had a bit more of an emergency on our hands.

Never ever feel bad for checking.

Your friend sounds abusive try watch out for her lil girl you did the right thing

Amber is a cheeky cow and needs to learn to parent her own child on her own.

YANBU. As the midwife said, they want to see you if you feel reduced movement, so you absolutely did the right thing.

Are you planning to live with Amber long term? If so, I would be rethinking that plan...

Of course you did the right thing , youd baby is number 1 , not Olivia and Amber. Tbh she doesn't sound like a great friend to not be concerned and thankful that all was OK with your baby. As others said you need to look elsewhere for accommodation for you and baby.

People often panic and go to the A&E incorrectly for pregnancy issues and its often a contributor to the wait issues as A&E don't deal with that... however you did not even do that right?

You phoned then went to maternity unit, which is there exactly for that purpose and much less busy. You did the right thing, in the correct process so don't let anyone tell you your wasting NHS time. Maternity unit are their waiting for situation like this.

I'm really glad your baby is OK and sorry you had to go to the hospital on your own.

You are living with a very selfish woman. Don't expect her to change. She'll get even worse once your baby is born.

Is there anything you can do about living separately?

Unless you've got a huge drip feed and turn out to be Amber's partner & Olivia's non-birthing parent, she's got no right to tear you off a strip for getting your bump checked out. Even if she is your partner, she should realise how worrying it is if bump plays sleeping lions on you. Honestly, you need to get yourself out of that living situation and your own place where you can nest for your baby coming.

Always get checked out if you’re worried.
Your friend’s reaction is worrying, she showed no concern for you or your baby only her own needs.

@TreeGum what are the circumstances here?

Why are you living with your friend and her daughter?

Is it your house? Or Ambers house?

Where are the dads/partners? Is Olivia’s father involved? Is the father of your baby involved?

Amber sounds like a cheeky fucker who probably needs more family help. It is not your responsibility to do that though.

If you live in your house - please ask Amber and Olivia to leave. You can’t bring a baby into this weird arrangement whilst Amber expects you to parent her child.

If you live in their house - please leave ASAP.

PUT YOURSELF FIRST. PLEASE.

Hi- you did the right thing going in. I’ve been in a few times throughout my two pregnancies and the advice I have ALWAYS had from midwives and doctors is that it’s better to be safe than sorry, especially about movement.

Hope you’re ok. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy x

You write very carefully and precisely, which makes you sound student-age ( nothing wrong with that of course) but it sounds like Amber controls you. Is she your mother, and Olivia your little sister and you have re-framed this as friends? Not trying to call your bluff. It seems an unusual setup.

Every time you are worried about the baby's movements, you should go to the hospital so that they can check. Every single time! You did the right thing by going today.

It sounds like your “friend” doesn’t want you prioritising your child over her own needs for an easier life and free childcare. Now would be a great time to make an escape plan and find alternative accommodation.

You’ve had bleeds and infections already in this pregnancy so you absolutely did the correct thing in seeking advice.
Why are you living with her ? Are you planning on still being there when you give birth ? You’ll it be able to ‘help’ her as much with a newborn.

Amber needs to learn to handle her own business before she starts telling you how to handle yours!

ANY time you feel something might be wrong with you and/or your baby, you should get medical attention as soon as possible. You had NO way of knowing on your own if your baby was okay or not! All you can possibly know oftentimes is if something is different, off or unusual.

You did the right thing and if this or another situation arises that makes you worry again, you should get prompt medical attention again. Best wishes. :)

Always go get checked for any change in normal movement! My baby stopped moving, passed a ctg and was then born a couple of hours later due to 2 failed ctgs.

This friend isn’t a friend and just sees you as the second parent to her daughter. It’s not your fault she can’t handle being a parent and you and your baby need to come first.

You did the right thing going to hospital but perhaps not the best thing living with this friend while you are pregnant.

You need to move out asap or move them out asap, depending on whose the property/lease is.

If you are ever concerned about your baby go to the maternity, always. I did a few times and they always assured me that going in was the right thing to do. Towards the end I was even kept in overnight and I had thought I was being silly going in. ALWAYS go in.

That aside your 'friend' sounds very selfish. She was pissed off you weren't there to sort out her toddler. What does she think will happen when your baby comes along? I think I'd look for somewhere else to live.

You phoned and were told to go in. The midwife said you were right to get checked out and you hadn't wasted her time. Your 'friend' knows less than the experts so don't listen to her. I think living on your own would be less stressful and better for you and your baby.

You definitely did the right thing.
Please never ignore reduced movements.

Is it possible to change your living arrangements? I can't see it working for long...well, it's not working now, is it?

Woaahh, Amber is WAY out of line!!

First off, the maternity ward is completely separate from the standard A&E, it's not like you going to maternity to get a scan would delay someone with a heart attack getting treatment.

Also like... she's putting more pressure on you to be there to help her with her kid than most parents put on the other parent... Like, me and my husband parent fully 50:50, we both work from home, but he's allowed to go out to the shops or the doctor if he needs to, or hell, even down the pub! - and the same goes for me. Obviously it's wonderful as a parent to have other adults around to help with the children, but you should be able to cope alone with your child for a few hours on your own.

I wonder what your living situation is, as in, are you her lodger, or do you rent together as joint tenants, or what? This entitled attitude she has to your time could become a problem for you when your baby arrives...

Absolutely go to the hospital any and every time you feel reduced movements, don't wait and see, or wait until the morning. I noticed reduced movements at 2am when I was 40 weeks, went to the hospital and the baby was in distress and had to be delivered straight away by emergency C-section and then spent 3 days in NICU (she's absolutely fine now). It's no joke. Listen to the midwives, not selfish Amber.

Why the fuck is this abusive and using woman living in your home? Why are you helping her? Get her out.

You did the right thing going to the hospital.

But can you get away from this living situation? You do not want a 2yo throwing mega tantrums when you are dealing with a newborn and the 2yo's mother expecting you to deal with the tantrum.

If your friend is not comforting you after a stressful event then she's not worth keeping in your life.