To think if you’ve been beautiful all your life

I’m sorry lyannaa horrible isnt it. My ex seems to think it was flattering and/or funny. It’s far from it

I’ve had this said to me as well. Horrible isn’t it?

Not really because a beautiful old person is still beautiful. People don't usually go from stunning to repellent looking just because they're over 65 or whatever. I think vain people might find it difficult, but they wouldn't necessarily be beautiful.

I wasn’t stunningly beautiful but I was considered to be attractive when I was younger. At 45 I’m just a bit….invisible. And I do find it, if not hard, a bit sort of disconcerting at times. Probably because in every other way I still think as I did when I was later twenties pretty much and have much the same interests. But that’s probably true for us all.

My mother knew a woman who ended up very bitter when she "lost her looks". I think people can look great at any age. Youthful "sexiness" isn't the only way to look beautiful.

I think there are lots of very pretty and attractive people but very few 'beautiful' people in the traditional sense. I saw a woman recently who was so incredibly stunning I took a second look, but these people are few are far between but they do exist. I remember once seeing the late super model Stella Tennant IRL and she was otherworldly - just incredible looking. I hardly felt like I was the same species as her ;)

I don't think it's just the face that does it. It's the whole appearance, hair, clothes and body shape included, as well as how you carry yourself. It's also just a bit of je ne sais quoi.

I was a lot younger when I had the worst hounding, but it absolutely happened. A man tanked his bike because he was distracted by me - pretty hilariously actually. I've also had men get on their hands and knees in the street to beg me to be their girlfriend when they only met me five minutes ago.

It does happen to some people.

Never beautiful, but definitely a period in time where I was definitely what I'd call attractive.

Now, I look very unattractive and rough. I developed many significant health problems and have been and am continually sick fighting something significant. Looks mean nothing at all in the face of this sort of thing. It changes the entire perspective of a person after a while and one tends not to think about being good looking as a desire anymore.

of course its not unless you have a career relying on you looking young and beautiful

my mum is caught up in this nonsense thankfully I learnt form her not to be so self obsessed its ugly

I was gorgeous when i was younger and I knew it and I enjoyed my time in the sunshine now I am not that's life, yes at times I miss it but there is so much more to life than how you look and I wish I hadn't of been so self absorbed when younger about my looks but so glad I am not locked into missing how I once was

I completely understand. It's so hard to tell. I've been convinced before, fallen for the man, and then been dumped when he realises I'm not actually Dream Woman.

A man walked into a lamppost ogling my chest once (I was a somewhat ridiculous 40-26-38 at the time).

I was 14, so it was a bit grim tbh.

This thread has made me think about the definition of beauty. When is someone simply pretty/very attractive and when are they beautiful? I work at a university and walking around campus I see endless attractive and pretty students. I'm not sure how to determine who's pretty and who's beautiful!
It also made me think about other types of physical attractiveness. For example - I know a woman who doesn't have a particularly attractive face but she has an amazing body and just a very bubbly attractive personality. People (men and women) seem drawn to her. I can't say she's beautiful but she's incredibly attractive to nearly everyone. Facial beauty is just one type of attractiveness, isn't it?

There are certain types of good looks that
do not age as well. Vivien Leigh was the most beautiful actress of her generation but her extreme beauty faded quite quickly in her 40s and 50s. I do not think Leonardo di Caprio has aged well either. Cillian Murphy’s bone structure has meant he is as good looking now as in his twenties

I bloomed in my late 20s which is the best time to bloom. I fully accept I won’t look as good in my 40s, but I also expect to not be bothered by it? I am finding that I care less and less about what people think of me the older I get, and I assume that will continue in my 40s (I’m mid-30s now).

No one has ever falling off their bike looking at me though haha.

I don’t like it and feel it’s been used against me.
My abusive ex husband used to say he would have divorced me years ago if it wasn’t for the way I looked (we were married 21 yrs). No man could put up with me if it wasn’t for my looks! He’s a charmer. So now I almost hate my looks because I don’t know if people really do like me. I remember I used to wish he liked me as much as he fancied me. It was very confusing to me. Probably because I’m neurodiverse - but I just don’t understand whether a partner truly wants and loves ME!

@NewMagicWand oh and people like Joan Collins got more looks not for her beauty but because everyone recognised her and she is surrounded by an entourage 😂
but yeah. We just want to see what bike falling beauty looks like

I think some people may want to see what you look like simply because it’s rare to see someone so good looking that people fall off their bikes so we want to know what you looked like.
I’ve seen celebrated beauties irl and whilst undeniably beautiful, no one is falling off their bikes or walking into lampposts.
so there is obviously a fascination when someone says they had that effect on people all through their youth . We want to see what that level of beauty looks like. Because we’ve obviously never seen it.
I’ve seen Margot Robbie, sienna Miller, Natalie Portman when she was younger, and Christy Turlington in her heyday. All beautiful women but no men were dislocating their necks when they walked past. More women looking tbh because we recognised them. Most men seemed to be oblivious

I love reading these threads and how people just love telling everyone how good looking they were 😆 falling off bikes looks 🤣🤣🤣

^

This is another example of as how women, we cannot possibly speak highly of ourselves. God forbid! Just say you're ugly as fuck!

Women knocking women down, again

No but the point is, people like this do exist in real life. I gave the example of my two beautiful friends - I'm 50 years old and have known two very beautiful women in my life (maybe three at a push) so yes, they are few and far between but they do exist. Mumsnet has thousands of members, why shouldn't some of them be really beautiful?
Obviously we all know many pretty/attractive women.

@Pinkandcake
Exactly! There are very few people walking around looking like Margot Robbie or Brad Pitt (I also don’t find him attractive) Even less of a chance of them all being on MN commenting on this post!

I don't think it's shallow. It is what it is.

Thought I might mention that I had a French pen friend who was striking almost Italian in looks. I think belle laide is the best description and I have spent months with her on exchanges etc and I have seen men fall over their own feet and cafe tables on many occasions. She always Laughed . She had brains too. My aunt was a hairdresser and for some reason where she worked the visiting stars were went to her. She said Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman she had ever hairdressed. No make up and stunning eyes. Lana Turner came a close second but possibly a bit before Mumsnet time. Sadly no one has ever called me pretty. Not even DH.

Yes, it's all those little things that you get used to.

It's pretty privilege. It's a real thing.

I do hate how shallow it is though.

You're still the same person x