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Sex noise from neighbours

211 replies

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:37

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

OP posts:
onetwothreefourfive11 · 16/03/2025 20:26

No you shouldn’t have put a note. You don’t do that!!!

sex is a natural thing

SexAndCakes · 16/03/2025 20:25

CandyCane457 · 16/03/2025 20:21

I think people are acting like hell know it’s you, because surely he remembers what room he had this great sex in, and he’ll know it is next to your house and no one else’s.

I agree with everyone else saying this is really cringe doing it after a one off. If it was daily, even weekly, fine, but just once feels a bit ridiculous.

We don't know it was great. Sounds a bit contrived to me. OP will have to keep us posted on how things evolve!

dizzydizzydizzy · 16/03/2025 20:25

I used to have a neighbour that had noisy sex every Saturday morning. I lived in a flat. My friend and I found it hilarious and she went on the balcony and applauded.

tillyandmilly · 16/03/2025 20:25

God I would hate that! Middle of the day - yes I would have done the same ! Maybe look into soundproofing the partition walls!

OriginalSkang · 16/03/2025 20:24

I think your note sounds really arsey, sorry! If you were trying to be friendly, you definitely missed the mark

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:24

CandyCane457 · 16/03/2025 20:21

I think people are acting like hell know it’s you, because surely he remembers what room he had this great sex in, and he’ll know it is next to your house and no one else’s.

I agree with everyone else saying this is really cringe doing it after a one off. If it was daily, even weekly, fine, but just once feels a bit ridiculous.

I could hear it in my whole house so I'm really not sure it's a case of being in the room adjoining my house. If you can hear it in the whole house, I reckon all sides can hear it!

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 16/03/2025 20:23

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:51

Haha I knew this would be one of the comments but you've done it even quicker than I thought! No I'm not, but I don't know how I can prove that?

Ok fair enough iabu. It was so loud and not even just towards the end. Like how women in porn sound. So it just felt quite inconsiderate as you deliberately make that noise. So I wanted to nip it in the bud. Because if I had family here, which I often would on a Sunday it would be embarrassing. Just to explain my thinking.

He's fine as a neighbour, I wouldn't say he was quiet, but I feel there's def a diff between deliberate notice and just life noise. But sex is part of life so, perhaps even if deliberatly loud it's ok.

But it's done now so I'm not gonna make it worse by saying oh yeah sorry I was a dick. I think that wouldn't help 😂

How do you know how women in porn sound? Just curious.

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:23

😂 Fooky-nell I am embarrassed on your behalf @Discone What on earth were you thinking?! 😆 Putting a note through their letterbox. Oh dear!

I am with you on people and loud sex noises though. It pisses me right off. I know someone who lives next door to a woman who screams and howls like a banshee during sex, and it smacks of 'hey everyone look, I am shagging. I am having SEXXXXXX!' 👯 It's pathetic, and attention seeking. Even the dumbest animals can fuck. And many men will shag anything with a pulse. You're not that special luv! 😆

Yes to the people saying it's performance sex.

HOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLL!!! I am fucking, can everyone hear meeeeeee! 😆

BigBoden · 16/03/2025 20:22

Let’s scream.

But in June on a hot night, waking the dogs, your mother and the children?

Biting down on pillows…

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:22

Dweetfidilove · 16/03/2025 20:14

You're super sex positive (whatever that means), but so embarrassed by sex noises you left a note?

Sex positive it a well known descriptor and movement I'm quite surprised you haven't heard of it. Give it a Google to gain more understanding if you're interested. But v briefly I take it as meaning you see value in sex and in particular for me I wouldn't want to shame anyone for their preferences. As I said if the vocal thing is for them cool just cover it up with music.

I don't think I actually said I was embarrassed. I didn't mean to say that if I did because I wasn't embarrassed so ifthatqas the reading sorry that was unclear. I think I said it would be embarrassing for family to hear and described it as cringe. To me saying something is cringe is not quite embarrassing like more uncomfortable. But I appreciate people have different understanding of words.

OP posts:
CandyCane457 · 16/03/2025 20:21

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:10

Oh also there's no reason he'd know which neighbour it was. I would of course say it was me if asked! But I'm not sure why pp's are acting like he know it's me.

I think people are acting like hell know it’s you, because surely he remembers what room he had this great sex in, and he’ll know it is next to your house and no one else’s.

I agree with everyone else saying this is really cringe doing it after a one off. If it was daily, even weekly, fine, but just once feels a bit ridiculous.

NimbleTiger · 16/03/2025 20:21

Me and my now exp were guilty of being noisy in the sex arena we were unaware we were affecting anyone else. Our neighbours during a fence chat asked if we could hear them in their day to day lives that very clearly sent the message which we acknowledged... we all laughed... it cleared the air and we were more aware going forward.

Redbushteaforme · 16/03/2025 20:20

Better to let him know first time rather than waiting to tell him and him possibly being even more embarrassed.

I still wish that I had told my neighbour the first time after he removed his blinds on his bathroom window with a low window cill (old house, upstairs bathroom) that his frosted glass wasn't as frosted as he thought, and that I was getting the full frontal effect every time he stood naked at the window and I was standing at my kitchen sink.

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 16/03/2025 20:20

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:15

Sorry what could you explain your post please? Where did I say I was watching porn? Or do you mean in order to know what porn sound like I must watch it? I feel like I can't reply as I'm not sure what you mean..

I didn't think it was kind to say it sounded like porn as I said they may like the ott vocals. So while I think it's a bit much, I don't want to judge styles d preferences and by mentioning it it's a judgement. The noise if that's your thing, just put music on!

So you just thought you'd completely humiliated him. Great.

Grammarnut · 16/03/2025 20:20

What does sex positive mean in this context? Bearing in mind sex positivity is distincly unfeminist being as it supports porn and prostitution as 'work'.
And I wouldn't want to hear my neighbours having sex. I'd put on some loud music.

offmynut · 16/03/2025 20:19

SwerveCity · 16/03/2025 20:18

Glad you’re not my neighbour. You’re obviously very inconsiderate and sound rather immature. I’m embarrassed for you.

Thank you have a good evening.

Zippidydoodah · 16/03/2025 20:19

I used to get woken up at 4am pretty much every day by the neighbours in my uni house. They weren’t students. Their headboard must have been on the other side of the wall to mine. Bang bang bang. Mind you, they probably hated us!

SwerveCity · 16/03/2025 20:18

offmynut · 16/03/2025 19:55

Omg you didnt did you a note because of loud sex ffs oh the shame im embarrassed for you why didnt you put your music on.
It would not bother me one bit id think good for them put my music on and get on with my life.
If it was me id get louder on spite.😂

Glad you’re not my neighbour. You’re obviously very inconsiderate and sound rather immature. I’m embarrassed for you.

SexAndCakes · 16/03/2025 20:17

If it's the first time you have heard it and he is single then it was probably a new partner. He may already have been embarrassed by her noise (you said it was her you heard, not him) but you can't exactly tell a new partner to shut up for the neighbours sake the first time you bonk. You jumped on it way too quickly OP.

Zeroperspective · 16/03/2025 20:17

Oh wow I'm cringing for you OP lol I think given its the first time you've heard it (and it might not have been her faking it, some people are more vocal than others during sex) then I'd have left it and maybe put on my own music. If it became clear it was a new relationship and likely to continue happening then yes the note would be a good call.
As for not knowing its you, I mean it's a terraced house so I'd say he will know it's 50/50 if it was you or those on the other side and depending where his bedroom is on the adjoining wall.....

Catwoman8 · 16/03/2025 20:17

If this was happening frequently and keeping you awake at night then I think a conversation at that point (or letter in your case) wouldn't be unreasonable. However for a first time offence, and the fact you've said he's a good neighbour, I think you've acted Unreasonably.

SherlockHomies · 16/03/2025 20:16

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:10

Oh also there's no reason he'd know which neighbour it was. I would of course say it was me if asked! But I'm not sure why pp's are acting like he know it's me.

Cowardly.

If it's this important to you, you should've signed your name to it.

Now he might be blaming someone else in his mind, without saying anything to them.

Way to stir up shit amongst your neighbours.

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:15

Bitofanchange · 16/03/2025 20:09

Did you tell them the woman sounded like a porn star, so they could judge you for watching porn?

Sorry what could you explain your post please? Where did I say I was watching porn? Or do you mean in order to know what porn sound like I must watch it? I feel like I can't reply as I'm not sure what you mean..

I didn't think it was kind to say it sounded like porn as I said they may like the ott vocals. So while I think it's a bit much, I don't want to judge styles d preferences and by mentioning it it's a judgement. The noise if that's your thing, just put music on!

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 16/03/2025 20:14

You're super sex positive (whatever that means), but so embarrassed by sex noises you left a note?