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Sex noise from neighbours

211 replies

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:37

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

OP posts:
Bepo77 · 17/03/2025 02:53

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 22:15

Yeah funny that isn't it? 😆 It's only the women who are like Lassie from Porky's, when they're fucking?! 😂

AAAA-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 🐕

"Listen everyone, I am having sex! Aren't I so clever, and so special, and SO amazing? I'm soooooooo much more attractive than you, my man is a great shag, and you are all sooooo JELLUS of me and my amayyyzing SEX!" 😂

Seriously shut the fuck up Maureen! No-one wants to hear your cum howl!

Oh my god this is so sad and pathetic 😂

Hope you don’t go around calling yourself a feminist like so many of the other women haters on mumsnet. Just say you have a shit sex life, it’s okay to be honest!

Bepo77 · 17/03/2025 02:48

Redpeach · 16/03/2025 21:30

Why do men not feel the need to communicate in the same way?

Err I’ve been with men who are vocal

sSssssssssssssOOO · 17/03/2025 00:22

OP,
I have never watched porn but know what you meant when you said OTT porn noise. Not sure why posters are pretending it must mean you watch porn. I guess they are just trying to wind you up.
I don’t think there was anything wrong with your note. It wasn’t rude. Although I guess it wouldn’t be good if someone else opened the note.

oakleaffy · 16/03/2025 23:59

offmynut · 16/03/2025 20:07

Just thought of something next time op crank up marvin gaye or something similar.

Or Donna Summer

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWD8raATiIY

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 23:43

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 23:39

I don't watch it, no.
I once saw a bit of a film when I was about 12.

HTH.

👀

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 23:40

Fountofwisdom · 16/03/2025 23:30

I live in a small block of 10 flats. Share a bedroom wall with the next flat. Had this exact issue when a young couple moved in and had really loud sex regular as clockwork every Tuesday and Thursday night and Sundays from about 4pm. I could hear every slap of flesh, the sex talk, screaming and groaning. I had to postpone a visit from my sister with her young kids as you could hear the noise through to the spare room.

After about 3 weeks of this, I wrote them a letter. Tried to be as kind as possible and didn’t identify which flat I was but it was along the lines of : “You are probably not aware but wanted to let you know that your bedroom activities can be heard in several of the flats. I’m sure you wish to keep these things private so we would greatly appreciate you keeping the noise down. We want to spare you any embarrassment, so thought it better to write a note rather than have to knock on your door.”

The loud sex stopped straight away (funny how people can actually be restrained when they try). She did look very sheepish every time I saw her on the stairs and they moved out about 2 months after that.

This is a really kind approach, perfect.

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 23:39

I don't watch it, no.
I once saw a bit of a film when I was about 12.

HTH.

Fountofwisdom · 16/03/2025 23:30

I live in a small block of 10 flats. Share a bedroom wall with the next flat. Had this exact issue when a young couple moved in and had really loud sex regular as clockwork every Tuesday and Thursday night and Sundays from about 4pm. I could hear every slap of flesh, the sex talk, screaming and groaning. I had to postpone a visit from my sister with her young kids as you could hear the noise through to the spare room.

After about 3 weeks of this, I wrote them a letter. Tried to be as kind as possible and didn’t identify which flat I was but it was along the lines of : “You are probably not aware but wanted to let you know that your bedroom activities can be heard in several of the flats. I’m sure you wish to keep these things private so we would greatly appreciate you keeping the noise down. We want to spare you any embarrassment, so thought it better to write a note rather than have to knock on your door.”

The loud sex stopped straight away (funny how people can actually be restrained when they try). She did look very sheepish every time I saw her on the stairs and they moved out about 2 months after that.

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 23:23

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 23:17

I don't, and I loathe porn, but I still know what porn noises are like.

How? If you don't watch it? 😂

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 23:17

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 22:37

@LittleCharlotte

Everyone knows what women in porn sound like, even if you don't watch it.

Tell me you secretly watch porn without telling me you secretly watch porn. 😂

I don't, and I loathe porn, but I still know what porn noises are like.

changedusernameforthis1 · 16/03/2025 23:06

I'd rather receive a polite note than what my neighbours did...

I was about 19 and having sex with my then boyfriend. In fairness, it was a small flat with paper thin walls.
The moment we stopped, they all started cheering and making the same sounds I'd been making 🙈😂
It was a flat share of 4 young lads and I was mortified 😂

BigHeadBertha · 16/03/2025 23:06

I think there's a range of reasonable possible ways it could be handled it and you chose one of those reasonable possible ways. It just feels awkward because it's an awkward situation. No worries!

NewMarmiteJar · 16/03/2025 22:41

But yes, you’d tell them to pack it in.

NewMarmiteJar · 16/03/2025 22:39

Is this you Mavis off Corrie, circa 1983

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 22:37

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 22:21

Everyone knows what women in porn sound like, even if you don't watch it.

I wouldn't have done it the first time, but if they made a habit of it I'd have written a polite note. Apart from one vile neighbour, years ago. I yelled at them to shut up and that she was faking.

@LittleCharlotte

Everyone knows what women in porn sound like, even if you don't watch it.

Tell me you secretly watch porn without telling me you secretly watch porn. 😂

outerspacepotato · 16/03/2025 22:33

Dude. Put on some Barry White.

☠️

Mamofboys5972 · 16/03/2025 22:31

Im a mam to a toddler and currently pregnant with baby number 2. My neighbours started having really loud sex at random times during the night, and I'm not exaggerating when I say they woke the whole house up, me, my wife, the toddler, it was exhausting and disgusting. She sounded the same, very porno scream, dramatic, acting, just not real at all. After about a week of interrupted sleep, I wrote a note and posted it! I don't even feel bad about it. Everyone has sex, but to wake up my full house every night, multiple times a night, not okay. Thankfully since I sent the note it's stopped :) I was super polite and said I was happy she seemed happy but could they maybe go in another room, play music, or do it at a different time. I don't think you're being unreasonable if it made you feel that uncomfortable. Especially when it's that loud, it's awful to experience. I couldn't imagine having people over and then that happening. Mortified.

rosemarble · 16/03/2025 22:22

Sex positive it a well known descriptor and movement I'm quite surprised you haven't heard of it. Give it a Google to gain more understanding if you're interested. But v briefly I take it as meaning you see value in sex and in particular for me I wouldn't want to shame anyone for their preferences.

Isn't that just being a normal, respectful person and sex negative is someone narrow minded, possibly bigoted?

LittleCharlotte · 16/03/2025 22:21

Everyone knows what women in porn sound like, even if you don't watch it.

I wouldn't have done it the first time, but if they made a habit of it I'd have written a polite note. Apart from one vile neighbour, years ago. I yelled at them to shut up and that she was faking.

OnePerkyRedDog · 16/03/2025 22:21

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:53

Hi we can hear you having sex really loudly, perhaps put some music on as its Sunday afternoon. Thanks

That note would really annoy me and not embarrass me tbh. I would make sure I was noisy after that

Kingsleadhat · 16/03/2025 22:20

Bailamosse · 16/03/2025 19:50

Did they put any music on? I think I’d have cranked up Je t’aime..

I was at the barbers with my then five year old son when the piped music played je t'aime. It got to the moany part and my little boy said "mummy I think that lady must have a poorly knee" 😂

Picle · 16/03/2025 22:20

If it happens again just crank up 'People Are Still Having Sex' by La Tour.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 16/03/2025 22:19

Porn has a lot to answer for, with all that fake wailing.

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 22:19

Bitofanchange · 16/03/2025 22:18

You’d have to ask OP, who doesn’t know!

😆

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 22:18

chocmalt · 16/03/2025 21:49

I don't buy that because sex is 'a part of life' we should joyfully accept hearing our neighbours making excessive noise in the throes of passion. Everything that makes noise is a part of life. Cleaning is a part of life, but I wouldn't hoover in the middle of the night if it would wake or disturb others.

Exactly this. NO-ONE needs to howl and hollar like a batshit dog when they're shagging FGS. As I said (and many others) it's needless attention seeking, and a desperation for everyone to know they're having sex. Pathetic.