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Sex noise from neighbours

211 replies

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:37

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

OP posts:
Isabellivi · 18/03/2025 17:19

I think this is very funny and he will likely be amused. You are NOT being unreasonable. You let him know so next time he has her over they can be more more aware and keep their sex life private. Actually you did him a favor. He may not have known otherwise

cannaecookrisotto · 18/03/2025 17:03

The people who would be “furious” to receive the note… genuinely curious, would you honestly? Not just die inside for 10 minutes, laugh it off then crack on with your day?

cannaecookrisotto · 18/03/2025 17:02

I wouldn’t have posted the note but find it amusing that you did. Nobody is hurt, he might feel a twinge of cringe whilst reading it but such is life. He might get her to bite a pillow next time 😂.

I don’t get the hate you’re getting on the thread, I think some folk have too much time on their hands or just enjoy getting outraged for no reason, it’s crackers on here sometimes!!

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 18/03/2025 16:40

Discone · 16/03/2025 20:22

Sex positive it a well known descriptor and movement I'm quite surprised you haven't heard of it. Give it a Google to gain more understanding if you're interested. But v briefly I take it as meaning you see value in sex and in particular for me I wouldn't want to shame anyone for their preferences. As I said if the vocal thing is for them cool just cover it up with music.

I don't think I actually said I was embarrassed. I didn't mean to say that if I did because I wasn't embarrassed so ifthatqas the reading sorry that was unclear. I think I said it would be embarrassing for family to hear and described it as cringe. To me saying something is cringe is not quite embarrassing like more uncomfortable. But I appreciate people have different understanding of words.

Fwiw I don't think you did anything wrong

Letskeepcalm · 18/03/2025 09:56

LillyPJ · 16/03/2025 19:58

Why are you proud of being an inconsiderate and vindictive neighbour?

Agree Lily PJ 👍

Btb · 18/03/2025 08:57

Discone · 16/03/2025 19:37

I live in an old terrace. I hear bits of noise from both sides normal life stuff, not an issue. Other neighbors play instruments and I can hear but it's no problem. Both sides have kids at least some of the time too.

This afternoon I could hear my neighbour (non music ones) having really loud sex. It's a fella who lives there I've had a few conversations with him he's in his 40s and lives alone. He's nice enough and no bother as a neighbour. It was the woman I could hear moaning. Tbh it sounded really fake and porny but whatever, they might like that. But that did make it more obvious and a bit cringe.

I put a note through the door saying we could hear and perhaps put on some music. It was polite in tone. I thought this was better than saying it face to face! But now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have done it. There's nothing I can do now it's done! But people are entitled to have sex in their house. I'm super sex positive but I do think it's a private thing and not something kids should hear for example. We have family over a lot and I'd be really embarrassed if this happened when they were over. I do massively over think so, a genuine wabu.

im sorry but if your neighbour had loud sex it’s nothing to do with you , id have been furious if you’d have put a note through my letterbox it’s nothing to do with you, you sound like a neighbour from hell

TwinklyBrickPoet · 18/03/2025 05:00

What else can you do stare someone in the eye after they just had sex coz that wouldn't awkward!

I think its a reasonable
Reaction.

MissDoubleU · 18/03/2025 00:35

Could you have put music on, op?

Woodywoodpecker321 · 17/03/2025 22:05

We had this years ago in an apartment building. Our neighbour was having really loud over the top screaming fake sex every other day. It was a lot! Eventually I left a light hearted note asking them to be more aware of their volume...she wrote back and was really horrible. We moved eventually haha

Justgoodforthegetting · 17/03/2025 20:39

BatchCookBabe · 16/03/2025 20:43

You can have really good enjoyable sex without screaming like a banshee and letting the neighbourhood know you're getting fucked you know! 😂

😬 fair point.
I’ll keep it down from now on…

Bepo77 · 17/03/2025 19:22

Redpeach · 17/03/2025 14:14

Err, why are there so few complaints about noisy men

Oo gosh let me find my spreadsheet of sex complaints by neighbours. Or send me the link of whatever data you’re using?

feelingalittlehorse · 17/03/2025 18:50

I’m sad that my life isn’t exciting enough to even get a one off note from my neighbours sigh

sidebirds · 17/03/2025 18:46

Olddad72 · 17/03/2025 12:36

For what it's worth I think you were a bit quick off the mark for a first offence. But this thread does remind me of an ex girlfriend from way back. She was very vocal, almost to the point of a performance. She lived in a first floor flat, one of Barrett's finest so as you can imagine there wasn't much sound proofing. She was very experienced and adventurous, certainly compared to what I'd been used to, so who was I to complain.
As the relationship progressed I found out her FWB lived in the flat below, I always wondered if the performance was for his benefit , did he enjoy it or did it torment him?
After a couple of years she dumped me and went on to marry him.
When I think about it now it was an odd situation basically was she entertaing both of us and I was the one who was clueless, or did he just hang around until he was needed in-between boyfriends ?

strongly suspect the FWB below was "having one on the strength of it" 🤯😂😂😂

asrl78 · 17/03/2025 18:45

Redpeach · 16/03/2025 21:30

Why do men not feel the need to communicate in the same way?

I think men tend to be less vocal with their emotions than women, either that or women have much more intense orgasms (no-one can ever directly test that one out). It reminds me of going to fairgrounds and rollercoasters, it was always the women dominating the screaming.

asrl78 · 17/03/2025 18:41

User32459 · 16/03/2025 21:54

It's a lack of consideration. They wouldn't do it their kids or parents where in the next room, so why subject the neighbours to it on adjoining thin walls?

Some people just don't give a damn about anyone else.

Get a detached house if you want to scream like a porn star.

Being in your own home is like being in a bubble where you are completely segregated from the outside world (like driving a car), so I can completely understand why some might think nothing of letting the emotions out at full volume at the peak of sexual ecstasy, because the edge of the visible universe is their walls and nothing can pass across that edge. Smartphones have the same effect shrinking the visible universe to a meter from the user's body which is why they appear to aim at you when walking.

sidebirds · 17/03/2025 18:38

fourelementary · 16/03/2025 19:55

Haha what if he writes back

dear discone
i hear you every Friday…

noisy neighbour

More like...

Dear Discone,

I hear you annually, on your husband's birthday

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 17/03/2025 14:40

Well anyone would think everybody else has sex in complete silence.

Bubblemonkey · 17/03/2025 14:30

Embarrassed for your family because people shag? I reckon most adults have shagged in their lifetime.

Redpeach · 17/03/2025 14:14

Bepo77 · 17/03/2025 02:48

Err I’ve been with men who are vocal

Err, why are there so few complaints about noisy men

Waitfortheguinness · 17/03/2025 13:47

Maybe he’s paying for it 🤣
the more she screams the more she gets paid?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/03/2025 12:50

Listen everyone, I am having sex! Aren't I so clever, and so special, and SO amazing? I'm soooooooo much more attractive than you, my man is a great shag, and you are all sooooo JELLUS of me and my amayyyzing SEX!"
Really? You believe anyone actually thinks like that? I never ever had any thoughts about anyone else while having sex.
Vocal pleasure is just one of those things based on intense stimulation.
A silent session would be weird for me.

Olddad72 · 17/03/2025 12:36

For what it's worth I think you were a bit quick off the mark for a first offence. But this thread does remind me of an ex girlfriend from way back. She was very vocal, almost to the point of a performance. She lived in a first floor flat, one of Barrett's finest so as you can imagine there wasn't much sound proofing. She was very experienced and adventurous, certainly compared to what I'd been used to, so who was I to complain.
As the relationship progressed I found out her FWB lived in the flat below, I always wondered if the performance was for his benefit , did he enjoy it or did it torment him?
After a couple of years she dumped me and went on to marry him.
When I think about it now it was an odd situation basically was she entertaing both of us and I was the one who was clueless, or did he just hang around until he was needed in-between boyfriends ?

HelmholtzWatson · 17/03/2025 04:43

It's just 2 people having sex, so idk what the problem is - would you put a note through the door complaining if it was a new born baby?

Ineedcoffee2021 · 17/03/2025 03:37

I would take that note as 'crank up the noise'

Bepo77 · 17/03/2025 02:59

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 16/03/2025 22:19

Porn has a lot to answer for, with all that fake wailing.

Yes where on earth did they get the idea I wonder. Can’t possibly have been from real life