So DP and I have a joint account which we pay a set, equal amount into every month. Rent, bills and weekly food shops come out of this account, and we have a buffer in there for anything house-related that needs buying. We pay for our own cars and all personal things separately, from our own accounts. DP earns slightly more than me, but when we agreed the equal amount (years ago now) it was on the basis that he would cover more (but not all) of the costs for things like restaurant meals, days out, trips etc.
This has worked fine for a number of years, but I am finding things a bit more difficult recently with the cost of living. After my car payments I have between £200-300 left over to cover my petrol, toiletries/makeup, socialising etc.
I've found over the last year or so that if it's a particularly busy month with family birthdays etc I can be left with literally £5 a few days before payday.
This month was one of those occasions (I get paid on the 14th). Last week I was waiting for my expenses to come in from a work trip I'd been sent on, and literally had about £8 in my bank. I had mentioned this to DP - that I was annoyed at how long work were taking to pay me the expenses back because it had left me skint. In similar situations in the past if it's been a few days before payday and I've needed money to go and do/buy something then DP has always been happy to send me the money and I send it back to him on payday.
One night last week, a fairly essential item of mine broke whilst I was using it, and DP offered to drive me to the retail park to get a new one. So we went, and I (perhaps wrongfully) assumed he was planning to pay for it, as I'd told him earlier in the week I had no money. When we were getting out of the car I noticed he'd left his wallet in the car, and I said "have you got the means to pay for this?" i.e. have you got your card or cash on you.
He basically flipped out at me, saying how rude it was that I "just expect him to pay for things", to which I said I don't, but you know I have no money. He said he didn't believe me! and I had to get my bank account up to prove it to him. I then said it was fine if he didn't want to buy it, I could wait until I get paid, but he said no, he would pay. There was a lot of huffing and puffing the whole time interspersed with mini-rants about me being rude and cheeky.
Anyway, he bought it and it hasn't been mentioned since. I sent him the money straight away on payday and considered the whole thing forgotten.
Yesterday we went to a country park for a walk. On the drive there he said he was hungry and wanted to stop at a particular fast food place. When we walked into the place, he said "I haven't got my card so you'll have to pay". I said ok. He ordered quite a bit of food and I paid. Then at the end of the walk, he was hungry again and wanted food from a nearby (expensive!) cafe, which again I paid for. Then on the drive home he said he wanted to stop at the supermarket to get drinks/snacks for the night, and again, I obliged.
I didn't think anything of this at the time, but today I've been reflecting and it feels odd. I spent almost £50 yesterday including parking, which is a hefty chunk of my money for the month. He's not mentioned giving me any of the money back. And something that clicked in my mind earlier was that in all the years I've known him, I've NEVER ever known him to forget or not bring his wallet/card when we've gone out anywhere. So I started playing yesterday over in my mind and thought actually, when he said "I haven't got my card so you'll have to pay" he did say it in a very blunt, cold way.
So now, I don't know if I'm being paranoid, but part of me feels like he did it on purpose... either to prove a point about being made to pay for things, or maybe he wanted me to refuse to pay for something so he could have a go at me about last week? But equally it could be totally innocent and I'm just overreacting. I thought best to consult MN before I say anything or ask for the money back, because I don't want to cause an argument especially if he genuinely did just forget his card.
AIBU to think he did it on purpose?