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Original poster

To think not many MN posters would make good counsellors?

117 replies

NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 16:34

Some of the advice given by posters is understanding, intelligent, and helpful, concentrating on the OP's problem and sharing words of wisdom.

Others tend to talk down and judge...a lot.

So, if I were to vote, I would err on the side of...don't give up your day job.

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 16/03/2025 18:40

fourelementary · 16/03/2025 16:36

To be fair, I am a qualified counsellor and pretty good at my job when I did it (retrained and now don’t have time for therapeutic work). But my persona here isn’t me at work- so Yabu to expect people to act like professionals on a chat site. That would be weird.

^this all day long.

They're incomparable.

MatildaTheCat · 16/03/2025 18:39

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 17:08

If people genuinely post here for serious advice, more fool them really.

It's an entertainment website, not somewhere to come for genuine help.

That’s a bit unkind. So many people are isolated or for some other reason don’t feel able to ask for RL advice so come here to ask strangers. Does that make them a fool? Or vulnerable? Or desperate to share their problems?

. Most people here are kind and most or many give decent advice but some are just horrible and happy to kick someone when they’re down.

However counsellors aren’t trained to give advice, quite the reverse so asking for advice on MN is entirely different from seeing a counsellor.

Fountains · 16/03/2025 18:36

fourelementary · 16/03/2025 16:36

To be fair, I am a qualified counsellor and pretty good at my job when I did it (retrained and now don’t have time for therapeutic work). But my persona here isn’t me at work- so Yabu to expect people to act like professionals on a chat site. That would be weird.

Yes. Also people aren’t coming on here for therapy. Quite often what they clearly need is tough love, a brisk talking to, or to be laughed out of something. Or told their boyfriend is an irredeemable wanker. None of which generally feature in a therapist’s professional toolkit.

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 18:32

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/03/2025 17:41

Yes, presumably because of the question you specifically asked.

Ahhh, that'll be it then.😂

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 16/03/2025 17:41

Yes, presumably because of the question you specifically asked.

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 17:37

Oblomov25 · 16/03/2025 17:10

Oh purlease. Most of us aren't counsellors and don't claim to be. Most of us are caring and tolerant but don't put up with shit.

Really, in the first few posts of this new thread we have had a therapist, a counsellor and a psychotherapist answering.😂

OP posts:
RossGellersCat · 16/03/2025 17:37

MiraculousLadybug · 16/03/2025 16:42

I'm qualified as a therapist. I wouldn't use my therapy training on MN or take on anyone as clients whom I've interacted with informally on MN. That would be unprofessional. Informed consent etc. I'm here to talk to people not initiate a therapeutic relationship, and TBH it really winds me up when I see posters who say they are therapists posting dubiously and trying to get more clients.

Edited

Ditto.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/03/2025 17:24

SwerveCity · 16/03/2025 17:21

This is the same as hysterical posters saying things like “the thought of you all sitting on a jury is horrifying” said on a now deleted thread earlier today. It’s just ridiculous. What people say on here is not reflective of how they would be in real life.

Oh I don't know, I'm a cold-hearted foul-mouthed psychopath in real life too! Grin

Lilifer · 16/03/2025 17:24

DenholmElliot11 · 16/03/2025 16:48

Most counsellors don't make good counsellors in my opinion.

Unfortunately yes, this 🙌🏻

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 17:23

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 17:17

You're right I have just posted a query about rock cakes. Please help!!!

Show quote history

I possibly could.
My scone attempts are often mistaken for rock cakes, I can share the recipe if you like.

OP posts:
Happyears · 16/03/2025 17:22

Hopefully they are not claiming to be acting as counsellors. Even if like me they are qualified they should not be treating fellow Mumsnetters as clients.

SwerveCity · 16/03/2025 17:21

This is the same as hysterical posters saying things like “the thought of you all sitting on a jury is horrifying” said on a now deleted thread earlier today. It’s just ridiculous. What people say on here is not reflective of how they would be in real life.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 17:21

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/03/2025 17:20

I’ve seen a few people claiming to be counsellors when they offer advice.

People can claim all sorts of things on an anonymous forum, doesn’t mean they are what they say they are. Not all counsellors/therapists are good at what they do and everyone can have an off day or a blind spot.

Im not sure what you expect from a huge group of people, mostly women, with very varied values and life experiences.

I think it's precisely because we're women that we're expected to be nice and kind and considerate in our answers, tbh.

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 17:20

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/03/2025 17:15

"Some people do come here asking for help and advice."

Generally they're asking for other MNers who have had similar experiences to tell them what worked for them. And given there's so many of us, there will indeed be MNers who have that experience.

Do counsellors give advice? That's not my impression of what the job is.

I agree. I was answering the poster who said people were fools if they came here for help and advice.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 16/03/2025 17:20

I’ve seen a few people claiming to be counsellors when they offer advice.

People can claim all sorts of things on an anonymous forum, doesn’t mean they are what they say they are. Not all counsellors/therapists are good at what they do and everyone can have an off day or a blind spot.

Im not sure what you expect from a huge group of people, mostly women, with very varied values and life experiences.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 17:19

I suspect most people are on here because it passes the time and is vaguely entertaining. It's also something you can pick up/drop whenever the mood takes you.

MN is not a serious forum for serious queries - it's primarily an entertainment website. Some people may use it to ask for/offer advice but that doesn't mean every user has to conform to that standard.

I'm also not one for platitudes and "there theres" - it doesn't help and generally just comes across as patronising and infantalising.

Noodge · 16/03/2025 17:18

This is weird. Is anyone on here trying to become a counsellor? It's a discussion forum, not a 'practice being a counsellor' (or indeed any other career or skill) forum?

Start a thread saying 'Most people on here wouldn't make great cleaners/actuaries/carpenters/jockeys'-it'd be just as valid. Nobody on here comes on to counsel anyone, counsellors included (and for what It's worth, I am a qualified counsellor).

If you mean 'Most people on here don't talk to people wanting advice, in a very nice way' then fair enough.

SprinkleOfSunak · 16/03/2025 17:18

Many people on here seem unable to read a whole post possible and don’t pick up or respond to details, so yes, they would make shit counsellors!

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 17:17

NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 17:10

Well you only have to run down the titles of the threads to see that many people do come here asking for serious advice.

Show quote history

You're right I have just posted a query about rock cakes. Please help!!!

soupyspoon · 16/03/2025 17:16

Its not counselling on here though is it

And it depends what you mean by counselling. If you mean for 'there there' to take place all the time, well thats not exactly counselling either.

Agree with another poster that most counsellors dont make good counsellors either but perhaps if counselling/therapy/guidance/emotional wellbeing support was a bit more challenging and a bit more like a honest mentor, perhaps people would learn a bit better how to navigate through life

Too much naval gazing, sense of entitlement, self absorption and seeing themselves as the main character in life.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/03/2025 17:15

"Some people do come here asking for help and advice."

Generally they're asking for other MNers who have had similar experiences to tell them what worked for them. And given there's so many of us, there will indeed be MNers who have that experience.

Do counsellors give advice? That's not my impression of what the job is.

AtrociousCircumstance · 16/03/2025 17:13

Pretty weird to make the connection OP. Are you someone who thinks all women should be super supportive, nurturing, kind all the time etc?

This forum exists for many reasons. Pressuring the users of it into one prescriptive role is not one of them. That’s what makes it so interesting.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 17:13

NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 17:10

Well you only have to run down the titles of the threads to see that many people do come here asking for serious advice.

Show quote history

Well, like I said, more fool them. This is an entertainment website designed to make money for the owners.

I would never post a serious thread on here.

Oblomov25 · 16/03/2025 17:10

Oh purlease. Most of us aren't counsellors and don't claim to be. Most of us are caring and tolerant but don't put up with shit.

Original poster
NovemberMorn · 16/03/2025 17:10

biscuitsandbooks · 16/03/2025 17:08

If people genuinely post here for serious advice, more fool them really.

It's an entertainment website, not somewhere to come for genuine help.

Well you only have to run down the titles of the threads to see that many people do come here asking for serious advice.

OP posts: