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Original poster

All crime docs are about men killing women!

290 replies

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 11:22

I was trying to find somehing to watch on Netflix last night. Looked at crime documentaries. They're all about men killing women. Or men killing children.

I like a bit of true crime sometimes, but it's actually too much. What the hell have we been putting up with over decades and centuries! There was a guest on Steven Bartletts Diary of a CEO who said the most dangerous person to a woman is her husband! I believe it. We've taken this shit for too long.

OP posts:
OutsideLookingOut · 16/03/2025 19:32

Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 16:40

Ok but I really dont think being so bitter and grouping so many men together is going to do anything to help the division between women and men. And if you want men to change their behaviour I dont see how posting on a predominantly female place is going to do anything?

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Actually I think women need to be more bitter and even angry about this. I say let the division grow. Women need to choose themselves more and with higher self-esteem and respect choose men who see them as equals and treat them with respect. Let subpart men die lonely.

PointsSouth · 16/03/2025 18:11

Redpeach · 16/03/2025 16:56

Not in our house - its me who chooses to watch them, my dh hates them

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Yep, in our house it's only the women who watch them. The man rolls his eyes and goes to bed with a book.

Leafy74 · 16/03/2025 17:59

OP, you say you want a discussion but I actually do not think that's true. Whenever people have disagreed with you, you've been extremely aggressive and dismissive of what they have to say. I actually think you just want people to agree with you that pretty much all men are shit. That isn't the experience of all women by a long way.
Many women do actually have positive experiences with quite a few men but that doesn't fit into your worldview so you just instantly dismiss that.

Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 16:59

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:50

@Anchorage56 Im posting to start a discussion. And you are discussing this with me 😄

We, as women need to set higher standards for ourselves and look out for each other. If we turn a blind eye on male toxic behaviour and still keep on going out, marrying and having children with them regardless, and not holding them accountable, we are part of the problem.

I am raising two future men at home. I love them and do my everything to teach them real respect and equality. And it is not simple.

Your earlier post said you wanted men to stop being violent and myself and another poster asked what you thought could be done. The thread itself started off talking about true crime docs on netflix which was what caught my eye 🤣 I'm not really sure what the discussion is as it seems women here are well aware of the issues.

Redpeach · 16/03/2025 16:56

GreyCarpet · 16/03/2025 15:54

Honestly? I think it normalises it and, more than that, I think some men enjoy watching it.

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Not in our house - its me who chooses to watch them, my dh hates them

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:50

@Anchorage56 Im posting to start a discussion. And you are discussing this with me 😄

We, as women need to set higher standards for ourselves and look out for each other. If we turn a blind eye on male toxic behaviour and still keep on going out, marrying and having children with them regardless, and not holding them accountable, we are part of the problem.

I am raising two future men at home. I love them and do my everything to teach them real respect and equality. And it is not simple.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 16:40

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:33

@Anchorage56 I think moaning about fellow women (and children) being murdered and abused is exactly what we need to do. And we need to voice these things often. And publicly like this forum!

Mumsnet is wonderful! This is a place of support for so many women to figure out difficult life situations. Including past and present abuse. The advice women give each other here, i am certain, has saved lives.

The facts speak for themselves. Women are treated horribly all around the world. The other women who turn a blind eye and enable it to continue are also very much to blame.

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Ok but I really dont think being so bitter and grouping so many men together is going to do anything to help the division between women and men. And if you want men to change their behaviour I dont see how posting on a predominantly female place is going to do anything?

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:33

Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 16:24

If your that angry about these sort of issues then at least get involved with organisations that help. Volunteer your energy into helping rather than moaning about men. You could start volunteering with charities that educate on FGM for example as that is another form of violence against women that is often not talked about.

Edited
Show quote history

@Anchorage56 I think moaning about fellow women (and children) being murdered and abused is exactly what we need to do. And we need to voice these things often. And publicly like this forum!

Mumsnet is wonderful! This is a place of support for so many women to figure out difficult life situations. Including past and present abuse. The advice women give each other here, i am certain, has saved lives.

The facts speak for themselves. Women are treated horribly all around the world. The other women who turn a blind eye and enable it to continue are also very much to blame.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 16:24

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:17

@Anchorage56 I am not scared for my own safety. This is not about me.
You sound like a classic enabler.

I would be willing to bet that the wonderful husbands in your circle of friends are up to all sorts when no one's looking..

If your that angry about these sort of issues then at least get involved with organisations that help. Volunteer your energy into helping rather than moaning about men. You could start volunteering with charities that educate on FGM for example as that is another form of violence against women that is often not talked about.

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:17

@Anchorage56 I am not scared for my own safety. This is not about me.
You sound like a classic enabler.

I would be willing to bet that the wonderful husbands in your circle of friends are up to all sorts when no one's looking..

OP posts:
FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 16/03/2025 16:16

I find it interesting that 1 in 4 women have been sexually assaulted or raped and 1 in 6 children (most experts agree it is likely much, much higher than this) .. Yet such a high percentage of men are supposedly good guys.

I see this said a lot on these threads but it really doesn't make sense to me. I really don't think most men are good people at all, at least not in my personal experience.

Males account for 75 per cent of all convictions each year. They account for 93 per cent of all murder convictions and more than 99 per cent of all rape convictions.

And we all know that rape convictions are at less than 2% of actual rape reports.

My friend was raped on a date, the man admitted it and also apologised via WhatsApp when she confronted him and then he went back on it and threatened her. Unfortunately she waited too long to get a rape kit done, but she still had his messages, a photo of bruising and also her word.

And the police told her that she would unlikely get him a conviction and it would cause her more stress than it was worth.

How many women are told to bugger off?

How many children?

I was told at 8 that I was making up porkies and my father was a very nice man.

Women are treated like dogs (I actually think animal cruelty gets more of an uproar).

Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 16:10

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:05

I'm glad you're in this discussion @Anchorage56
It is exactly men like you who whip out these empty statics to try and prove your point that its 'not all men'.

Obviously we know it's not all men, but can you remember the last time you were afraid for your safety in the presence of another person? When you felt a feeling of threat coming at you? When someone crossed your physical boundary? Because i can tell you for women it's constant.

I'll have a go at my own 'statistics'. I would say maybe 4% of men are completely decent and respectable. The majority are all varying shades of dodgy. Porn, strip clubs, prostitutes..they exploit the vulnerability of women. Emotionally and financially controlling relationships. Utter selfishness. Not seeing their partner as an equal. Texting and sexting. Groping. Being inappropriate with their words or actions.

And then the rest. Its a sliding scale. Maybe it is your 4% who actually go on to kill.

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Read the post I put up just before you posted this one. No I dont live my life feeling any of those things you mention. How do you even get up in the morning if these thoughts consume you? You should see a counselor or therapist.

unbelieveable22 · 16/03/2025 16:05

Yet many of the live trials shown are about women killing men.
Always find that puzzling.

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 16:05

Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 15:47

There was a study where it was shown 4% of men committed violent crime and of that it was 1% who committed the majority of crimes (persistent offenders). So that leaves at least 96% of men as men who dont commit violent crime.

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I'm glad you're in this discussion @Anchorage56
It is exactly men like you who whip out these empty statics to try and prove your point that its 'not all men'.

Obviously we know it's not all men, but can you remember the last time you were afraid for your safety in the presence of another person? When you felt a feeling of threat coming at you? When someone crossed your physical boundary? Because i can tell you for women it's constant.

I'll have a go at my own 'statistics'. I would say maybe 4% of men are completely decent and respectable. The majority are all varying shades of dodgy. Porn, strip clubs, prostitutes..they exploit the vulnerability of women. Emotionally and financially controlling relationships. Utter selfishness. Not seeing their partner as an equal. Texting and sexting. Groping. Being inappropriate with their words or actions.

And then the rest. Its a sliding scale. Maybe it is your 4% who actually go on to kill.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 15:56

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:51

Shouted at by who? Me?
Do you have any suggestions yourself?
I think first step is to talk about it. To not pretend anymore that this is not the case. Stop bringing up the odd female murderer/abuser to try invalidate this huge global problem. Stop saying 'not all men' and turn a blind eye. Believe women when they indicate that they are afraid/abused/controlled.

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Stop trying to put all women into your category. I dont walk out of my house feeling scared, I dont wide step past men. Most women I know are strong, confident happy with life. Plenty have loving husbands.

GreyCarpet · 16/03/2025 15:54

Somethingthecatdraggedin7 · 16/03/2025 11:30

And most of the dramas too.
I frequently get to a place where I can’t watch this anymore.
I know it reflects reality though and am in two minds if showing so much of it normalises or highlights the issue.

Honestly? I think it normalises it and, more than that, I think some men enjoy watching it.

Leafy74 · 16/03/2025 15:53

Knew it.

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:51

Leafy74 · 16/03/2025 15:44

At the risk of being shouted at, how can this be achieved?

Show quote history

Shouted at by who? Me?
Do you have any suggestions yourself?
I think first step is to talk about it. To not pretend anymore that this is not the case. Stop bringing up the odd female murderer/abuser to try invalidate this huge global problem. Stop saying 'not all men' and turn a blind eye. Believe women when they indicate that they are afraid/abused/controlled.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 15:47

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:42

You are obviously a man 💯

What i want is men to stop being violent. I want the society to stop enabling and excusing abuse. I want women and children being able to walk around and exist in the world without a threat of being killed, raped, trafficked, exploited and abused.

Show quote history

There was a study where it was shown 4% of men committed violent crime and of that it was 1% who committed the majority of crimes (persistent offenders). So that leaves at least 96% of men as men who dont commit violent crime.

Leafy74 · 16/03/2025 15:44

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:42

You are obviously a man 💯

What i want is men to stop being violent. I want the society to stop enabling and excusing abuse. I want women and children being able to walk around and exist in the world without a threat of being killed, raped, trafficked, exploited and abused.

Show quote history

At the risk of being shouted at, how can this be achieved?

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:42

Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 15:38

Do you want more crime docs about female murderers?

You are obviously a man 💯

What i want is men to stop being violent. I want the society to stop enabling and excusing abuse. I want women and children being able to walk around and exist in the world without a threat of being killed, raped, trafficked, exploited and abused.

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 15:40

SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:38

My take on this: Men killing women, children, each other and animals 🙄

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Correct some do

RobinHeartella · 16/03/2025 15:40

Meadowfinch · 16/03/2025 11:36

Two of the Strike books/episodes have female murderers. Out of seven.

That's a greater percentage than in real life.

Very leveling of JKRowling. 🤗

Edited

Three!

Original poster
SwoopDog · 16/03/2025 15:38

Happyinarcon · 16/03/2025 15:34

If you look at the crime statistics each year there seem to be over twice as many male victims as women. I guess men killing men doesn’t make for a good podcast

My take on this: Men killing women, children, each other and animals 🙄

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 16/03/2025 15:38

Do you want more crime docs about female murderers?

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