Shall I just get up and go out?

So what has he said about your day now thst it’s coming to a close?

I have read all of OPs posts. This is the case. It's also why people need to RTFT or at least an OPs posts before judging.

if this is the case
he’s a sociopath
and I would’t want him in mine and my children’s lives a minute longer

I know exactly how you’re feeling it’s naff
happy birthday xx

Actually, it's worse than incredibly thoughtless. It's a deliberate cruel act. A year of promising something to do less than the bare minimum. Making sure she couldn't plan anything special for herself by leading her to believe he was doing something special. It's telling her that her ideas aren't good enough for him to follow through on. At best it's stupidly mean and at worst it's cruel.

Would you tell someone you loved and respected that you were planning something special and repeat this over the course of a year, only to completely ignore the day you were talking about? Why?

Happy Birthday OP! I hope your pottery class was great.

Honestly, you have kids already… you don’t need another nor false promises, ditch the dead wood.

Happy birthday @wherethewildrosesgrow - I hope the pottery class was lovely and you've brought home your handiwork. Very sorry your 'D'P led you on then let you down, wishing you a lovely day with your sister tomorrow.

I didn't say he had been simply thoughtless, I said he had been incredibly thoughtless.

🙄

Accidentally clicked you ABU. Do take yourself out. Ask a friend if you can. Also tell him what you would like and ask himto arrange for next month since he didnt bother.

So from your updates I take it there was. I big surprise. I think that is plain cruel. Getting you to keep the day free just to let you down. Not even a gift. That’s pretty bad.
well Happy Birthday, I hope you managed to make he best of it. I think I would seriously be reconsidering the relationship OP X

I’d love to k ow how your birthday went.

Happy birthday OP 🎂 🥳

And well done for loving yourself 🥰

I’m so sorry he has let you down so cruelly after promising so much. I hope you managed to have a good day, despite him. Every one deserves to feel loved and special on their birthday, I hope your future ones will be all you could wish for. 💐

No - he has NOT been simply ‘thoughtless’. He deliberately said he would do something special for her. He asked what she’d like to do , she gave several suggestions. No real thought required, but he still went on and on about about what he was going to do. And then….Nothing. Really? You’d accept someone lying to you like that? Leading her on, LYING. Couldn’t be doing with that. There’s no excuse for it.

Happy birthday OP!

I hope he pulled something out the bag for you. But if not perhaps your gift to yourself is to be free from this useless man.

Wishing you many happy returns either way 💐

All I will say is ruining special days/ events is a Narcissistic trait.
They get a dopamine kick out of hurting/ upsetting you and then they play the victim if you are upset .
Appalling unforgivable behaviour

Happy Birthday ! 🎂

LTB seriously get rid, he doesnt deserve you

Ignore @Specialberries she’s missed the point of the thread entirely and just wants to judge a single mother.

Happy Birthday @wherethewildrosesgrow!

Did he not do anything? Did you go to the pottery course? It’d be bad enough if he hadn’t promised anything. But he’s full of BS if he told you he’d make it up to you after last year, asked you not to arrange anything as he wants to make it special and said the ideas you’d suggested weren’t enough. Total BS.

Why should you believe another word he tells you?

Did he arrange anything op? Or is he bluffing? Maybe hes arranged a surprise birthday party 🎂

No thanks.

Honestly women of the world plan your own birthday treats, presents and meals out. Rely on none.

But treat anyone else the same.

oh. And lower your expectations if you don’t want to be disappointed. Or even better no expectations.

@wherethewildrosesgrow HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP! 🍾 I hope you enjoyed your pottery class earlier, you have a lovely evening dining at a nice restaurant (with or without "D"P) and that you have a great day with your sister tomorrow.
You're quite correct, of course, people will ask you what you did for your 50th and you can tell them about all the promises your DP made and how he did nothing (assuming this has turned out to be the case). In fact, assuming your relationship continues, you should bring up your 50th to people in your DP's presence at every opportunity (e.g. "Oh, it was my 50th last week/month/year") which will prompt them to ask if you did anything special - and then you can regale them with your DP's carelessness yet again - I ruddy well would! 😡

Happy birthday op, hope the pottery painting was fun and that you have a lovely meal with the kids tonight 🙂

I hope you had a fabulous day! If it makes you feel any better, I was staying at my partner's place for the week of my birthday (we don't live together) He doesn't bother with birthdays so I wasn't expecting anything but he didn't even mention it on the day - not even when I told him my friend had just phoned to wish me happy birthday. Worse than that, after we'd got into bed that night, he suddenly remembered he'd forgotten to put the bins out - and suggested that I could do it!

I read your post yesterday @wherethewildrosesgrow and I've come back to see if you have had a lovely day? I was really hoping to find an update saying your DH had done the oh so funny (not) pretending he'd arranged nothing and actually had given you the best birthday of your life but its not looking like that's the case? I'm so sorry, it's one thing to just make no effort but to make no effort after weeks/months of telling you they were going to make a huge effort is really shitty and I wouldn't hesitate to let him know how much this has hurt you.
Happy birthday OP I hope you've managed to smile and enjoy parts of your day at least and that you are currently enjoying a lovely meal with your DC and have a great time with your sister tomorrow x