Boyfriend sees me two evenings per week?

Yeah, that wouldn't work for me. Unless there's a special event or occasion, I'd expect most of his weekend to be spent with me. If he doesn't want that, he's not a good fit. There are men out there who will want to spend more time with their serious girlfriend, partner, or wife. I'd get rid of this one and look for someone with a more similar outlook.

' Am I expecting to much? '

you are not expecting enough
you are accepting far far too little

It sounds like a teenager relationship. What are you getting out of it.

Love, this isn't a relationship.

You're packed into a handy little compartment labelled 'fuck 'n food'.

The rest of his life is taken up with work, friends, a life you don't share. You get the crumbs.

I'm willing to bet even if you move in together this will continue.

You'll be on here in a few years, life will have gone on, yet you'll be asking why does my husband never seem to want to spend time with me and our toddler?

He was your ex. So what happened that ended the first version of this thing?

And how old are you both? This may be significant.

So what does his work pattern look like during the week?

There’s significantly more ‘we’ve talked about it’ than ‘we’ve done it’ here. Look at his actions not his words, ask for what you want from this relationship, if he promises to deliver but doesn’t follow through immediately - it should be a no from you.

I don't think it sounds great, doesn't sound very serious.

I think if he was keen he'd be wanting to spend Saturday day and night together, maybe seeing his friends just on the Sunday.

@castoroil "I am struggling with only two evenings a week, and some of Saturday"

You previously separated for whatever reason but here you are again, struggling with this relationship.

Just because he is familiar, it really does not mean that he is your only option lovely.

Find someone else who doesn't make you so sad. 🌻

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship. He sees you when it suits him and he's not prepared to make time for much more. You sound way down on his list of priorities.

'We have been out during the day on a few of the Saturdays since we’ve been together.'

is that your only comment after all the replies ?

who are you trying to convince - us or yourself...

what about Saturday night dates
weekends away

etc.

Bansheeofthesouth is right.

You don't have a boyfriend, you have a fuck buddy.

Why would you want to marry someone who sees you a few hours a week? It's hours not days because he arrives late and sleeps. Of course he wants to move in. You will do everything for him and he will continue to do as he pleases.

He could spend one weekend day with friends and go out with you that evening and spend the other day with you and out with friends in the evening but he doesn't. You are not a priority.

Keep him as a fuck buddy if you want but look for someone more suitable for an actual relationship.

posted too soon

as on Sundays you could go for a meal/activity if he’s arriving too late the other nights

hmmm I think if a new relationship it seems fine as it gives you a weekend night to see your friends but if talking about marriage and kids I’d expect more tbh
Saturday with his mates fine but why Sundays when he’s with his family does he never want you there or do you sometimes go as presumably you know them well if an ex? And I’d want Sunday evenings too

If he saw you for two whole evenings a week then that might be OK but he turns up in time for sex and sleep. He's talking marriage to keep you on side but really he gives you nothing. Dump him and find someone whose actually into you

It sounds like he just comes around late evening for a bunk up then spends his free weekend time with his mates?

Wouldn’t suit me.

I agree with the PP-don’t put yourself down and call yourself needy. Everyone wants different things from a relationship, some want lots of space and time apart, others love spending lots of time with their partner. No way is right or wrong, it’s a case of finding someone compatible. I’d really recommend you read up/Google attachment theory. I found this such a revelation as I realised that I had a pattern of going for partners who had needs and priorities that didn’t align. Personally in your situation I wouldn’t be happy with the amount of time and effort being put in by your DP. Have you told him how you feel? If you can’t have an open and honest conversation about this then I don’t think you should be considering marriage and kids just yet.

How can a good person—or a good man because surely this comes from him—make you feel “needy” for wanting more than scraps of his life? Its not “needy”! What a horribly pejorative word to use. I just had a nice nap next to my dh of 35 years. We are together more than we are apart. That is why we got married. We actively choose each other’s company.

I'm thinking this.

Food and and a shag, one thing.

Long term relationship another...

Only you know the difference...

So even on Thursday and Friday he comes to yours after he's finished work which could be after 10pm and then he sometimes spares you a few hours on a Saturday before spending the rest of the weekend with friends.

This isn't a relationship. I would not move in with him or marry him. If this is him trying to make it work after a fresh start I'd hate to see how things are when he's comfortable and a bit complacent.