Boyfriend sees me two evenings per week?

This might sound odd but to me a key measure of the seriousness of a relationship is who you spend your weekend with. He doesn’t have to spend every Saturday night/Sunday with you but it’s odd that he doesn’t want to spend any Saturday nights/Sundays with you. You split up before. It didn’t work then and it doesn’t particularly seem to work now. What you describe is not a basis for marriage.

Then run like the fucking wind because that man will not make that lifestyle easy. When will he be around to raise them, never mind "help" you around the house.

he is just future faking you, all this ' talk ' about being together / marriage etc. it's not going to happen.

He is quite happy coming round after work for sex twice a week, and if he has nothing better to do he will spend a bit of time with you during the day on Saturday.

what do YOU do on a Saturday night ? do you get a babysitter and go out and enjoy yourself ?

how often do YOU go out to socialise / have fun.

does your child's father do overnights at weekends with him/her ? or is it just Thurs eve until Saturday daytime ?

Have you suggested date nights/days when you have childcare?

Why won’t he take you with him when he meets his friends? Why doesn’t he want to go out together? You mention his friends also bring their partners…does he not like to be seen with you?

You’re not really seeing each other twice a week the way most people do when they are dating. You never go out together but he makes sure he goes out with his friends. It’s all about him really, isn’t it? I wouldn’t be surprised if his vision for your marriage was all about him too. His life style would remain unchanged but you’d be a live in housekeeper

@castoroil He says that work is his first priority, family second and then me.

No, you are 4th - you only get the spare time he has when his friends aren't available. They get the prime-time relaxing fun time. You get the earlier part of the day when there's nothing better to do.

This is very wise advice.

He says that work is his first priority, family second and then me. He’s relatively new in his role so is working hard to get to a good place with it.

So, he has told you that you are last on his list. Your son will be even lower.

You and your son are both worth better. You are in a different place to him, you will always be a generation ahead. Its rare that I think this but I think you need to be look at older men not younger.

But either way, get rid of this one.

Youre a grown up, he isn't.

Having a child so very young meant you had to mature fast and take responsibility.

He hasn't done that.

He SAYS he wants to embrace that - because that gets him laid.

What caused the breakup in the first place?

He's living like a young single lad, you're mum to a 6 year old. He's still pissing about with his mates on the weekends, you've got school uniforms, parents' evenings and bedtime stories. It's not going to last.

He's (rightly) focussed on getting his career started. At 24, that's pretty much the norm.

You come a long way down his list of priorities. What's far, far more important is that your 6 year old daughter will matter to him even less. Your first duty is to her, so this is not a relationship that's got much of a future.

He has made it clear that he doesn't want to embrace that role. You are his last priority. That includes your child.

Do you really think this is the man to be a good step father to your child when he spends a few hours with you a week, presumably when your child is not there (I hope!)

Hiya, I’m curious as to why you both split up last time. You don’t need to disclose that but I think you should put that in the mix too.

On the issue of time (and the timing of that time being almost bedtime), that would not have interested me. The relationship doesn’t have enough awake, quality time to flourish. As PPs have said, you’re just sleeping together with the current arrangement.

At that age, with my future DH (now exH but that’s another story), I was going to his after work on a Thursday, going to work from his on a Friday morning, coming back to his Fri after work and spending the whole weekend together- socialising with friends or just the two of us, or visiting his family together - then going to work Monday morning and being at mine on my own until Thursday rolled around again.

I mean, the above wasn’t sustainable and looking back after we settled down I realised I’d done all the running around, but that gives you a flavour of the sort of routine you could have. The difference being any boyfriend of yours would need to come to yours (once things are steady between you) since you have your son there too.

Theirs your answer. He couldn’t be clearer. What else do you want him to say.

How could it get more casual? What “wouldn’t he like?” That you were’nt permanently on standby like a plug in hoover, ready for the two nights he wants sex? Would @more casual” mean you would start to date other men ? Because I absolutely think you should be looking first someone who values spending time with you other than booty calls.

You need to work out what you want out of the relationship.

He’s lying, though.

Other than his mouth, there's nothing in this that says he wants commitment and family with you.

You need a man that's hesitant to leave you, not one that has you on a rigid schedule. This is not your man, so don't allow him to waste your time.

You are not a high priority to him. He spends a couple nights, then see ya later.

This sounds more like just sex than a relationship or FWB.

How long were you together previously op and how long are you back together?

I personally would normally have felt 2 date nights in a week was plenty but I'd want to do something other than just go straight to bed with them.

However, there's not much here to go on - if you're only recently back together then it makes sense to me to go slow.

You are in very different places in your lives. I hope your child hasn't met him. Very unhealthy for a young child to have someone in and out and back into their lives like that.

At 24, taking on a 6 year old step child wouldn't appeal to many people.

He's told you that you are last on his list of priorities. End the relationship and prioritise your child and yourself.