To think we all want to be mothered no matter how old we are?

Thank you. I know I am very lucky with my friends.

I don't have a close emotional bond with my Mum, but her way of showing affection when I was growing up was to cook, clean etc. I've definitely had moments where I've wanted to take a few days off adulting and have these things done for me.

my mum died 6 weeks before I gave birth, she was the person I wanted to call to tell her my baby had arrived

O don't have either parent now and I do miss them, I mother my dc and have a close bond, she said to me recently how lucky she is to have me as she has just had a baby and knows I didn't get that looking after...

I am the one who mothers everyone else, including my own mother from the time I was 6 years old, not to mention my younger siblings with mental health problems, DH also with mental health problems and my SEN child and toddler of course. My mother loves me in her own way but has never been able to take care of herself, let alone her children. Mostly I'm fine but occasionally I get a massive wobble where I just wish someone, anyone, would notice how much I struggle and look after me like a parent would for a while.

My mother was too involved in her own issues to do much mothering, and as a consequence I'm very independent, prefer to look after myself and don't tend to look for support. My DH is good at looking after me when I do need it.

I mother my adult boys as much as they'll let me, though, always have. They brought out in me nurturing instincts I certainly didn't learn from my own mother, and I'm the first person they call when they need support. I suppose that will change when they settle down with partners, but I'll still be there for them.

I never had a loving Mother, in fact I was scared of her from as early as I remember. My Dad was ok but turned a blind eye to how she was with me.
Luckily I had a loving Grandma, who gave me big hugs, I used to love seeing her every Saturday.
I never felt really safe until I met my husband and had two children…. they were my family and now the four Grandchildren, who I obviously adore.
So, No I’ve never been Mothered but it must be nice. 😊

I think it would be lovely @SlB09. My children know they will be mothered for as long as I am here. They are 30 and 26.

When DS was born, for various reasons, I realised I had never been mothered. I have never expected it since the age of about 14. I was blessed to have exceptional grandparents.

My mother, 88, now fully expects to be daughtered. It is hard.

I get this so much ❤️

I came home and had a little cry after seeing my mother today. I was trying to talk to her and she wasn’t listening or interested in a word I was saying. I stopped speaking mid sentence and she didn’t notice. This has been going on for a couple of years now and I think it’s dawned on me that I need to stop trying all together. I don’t want to be mothered but I would have loved a mother who was bothered.

She’s only in her mid 50s so I can’t blame old age.

Both of my parents passed when I was fairly young and it just makes me feel sad not having parents. I crave the feeling of going to someone and being looked after. I sometimes want someone to put their arms around me and tell me that everything’s going to be okay rather than me being the parent and having to reassure others. Which is why I’m always trying my best to be that parent to my children. Doesn’t stop that feeling of wanting my parents though. Oh well. At least I had that for a short time, I know I’m lucky.

I get it. Weirdly the person who “mothered” me best was an ex boyfriend who was incredibly good at cooking, running me a bath, bringing me snacks while letting me laze around etc. he would have made an amazing house husband, but it didn’t work out for other reasons …

I've never been mothered and I definitely would have loved to be. I see how much my MIL adores and dotes on my DH and I am jealous.

My mum died when I was 8. I have missed her terribly throughout my life and still do now I'm in my 50s. I still have memories of her and they are lovely memories of someone who made me feel happy, warm and safe.Would love to have that now but I try to provide those things to my lovely adult children

Yes absolutely. I try to mother my boys as much as i can get away with, because i know the day will come i won't be here to do it.

The older I get the more I am realising how much of my dysfunction stems from not having had a safe reliable nurturing mother figure in my life. I find mothering my own children quite triggering in this regard as I spend so much time hugging them, caring for them, kissing and praising and generally pampering them, and it really makes me feel the holes in my own sense of self worth and self love which my upbringing with (and without much of the time) my mentally unwell and emotionally unreliable /immature mother. So often after I've hugged my 4 y o to sleep I'll lie next to her and weep a bit, thinking how much I love her and how I don't think anyone ever has or will love me that way.

When I was in hospital after giving birth to her (emergency c section) the midwife in the post surgical ward took such gentle care of me, bathed me etc and I wept at that too.

So yes I do think we all want mothering!

I don't feel it's being 'mothered' but I do like being cared for. As a previous poster said, not pampered or anything out of the ordinary but just a cup of tea or sometimes supper, without being asked. I think that's almost the definition of a caring relationship to provide for your partner before they realise the need.

Same here for same reason and also can’t have anyone doing stuff for me, I have to do every for myself, being ‘looked after’ makes me feel strange

My mums been dead nearly 5 years, and due to her dementia she wasn't herself as a person for a good 10 years before that. I miss that unconditional love and interest that she had, you know you could tell her the most stupid small thing you'd achieved or done (or the same for ds) and she'd want to know and celebrate. Or make my favourite pudding without me asking just because she knew I loved it.
I'm in my 50's and def want to be mothered sometimes

@NotTheDebtDoctorWithTheHungryScalpel I can empathise with you there. My mum walked out when I was young. I’m not able to sustain adult relationships especially those I need to be emotionally vulnerable in,

Yes. My mum died when I was a teenager so I have never had a mother as an adult.

I said the same to my friend the other day, I wish that just once my mother would just be a mum to me. Life has been pretty tough the last few years (DH's terminal illness, his death and now some more really not great news around health) and I would've liked her to support me just once but she never will.

Why don’t you want it? (If you don’t mind me asking). Do you feel like you got enough of it in childhood/elsewhere and you just don’t need it anymore?