House buyer has moved stuff in before completion.

To answer questions I am in the UK. He definitely doesn’t know her. I don’t think he’s up to anything sneaky but I do think he doesn’t care about the risks he’s putting us at and he doesn’t mind making my life as hard as possible. I am shocked at her attitude given that she’s a judge, she seems to say whatever she can to get what she wants and is firmly putting the blame on “us” (actually him I had nothing to do with it) that the house didn’t complete on 15th January, ignoring the fact we could have completed on 29th January and she’s still saying even now that there are pre exchange searches to be done.

This ^^^

speak to your divorce lawyer and get it back on the register asap

OP, you can register Matrimonial Home Rights yourself and it doesn’t cost anything. Just download the form fill it in and send it to Land Registry

How to register MATRIMONIAL HOME RIGHTS

No, you didn’t have to remove it for the sale to go through. The home rights notice should be removed when it is complied with ie. when you receive the money. This is dealt with at completion. By removing the notice prior to completion you have left yourself completely vulnerable. There is no way for a conveyancer to know you are due funds otherwise and they will just send the funds to your ex. You need to register the home rights notice right now, even if it has exchanged! You have been given terrible advise by whoever told you to remove it.

Hi everyone, apologies as this is long.

I have what I think is an unusual situation and I just wanted some opinions on my next move.
I split with my husband in 2023 and we have now divorced. We obtained a financial order by consent in November 2024 which stated I could occupy our marital home with our 3 children until it was sold with most of the proceeds going to me (we had other properties and capital that went to him). I am not on the mortgage and he is the legal owner so when we separated I obtained a right to occupy notice over the property. I agreed to remove this and it was removed on January 10th. He is very awkward and quite abusive and manipulative and our relationship is strained at best but I try to stay civil for the children.

He accepted an offer on the property within a week (November 7th) and he told me he will keep me updated the whole way through. On the 10th January he told me that the house was going to complete on 15th January. I was dumbfounded that he had not kept me up to date and told him there’s no way I could find a rented property (which I’d decided to go into until I’d saved a bit more to buy a home outright for myself and the kids) and move within 5 days. He was extremely abusive telling me I would lose us the sale. I had no access to his conveying solicitor who would not speak to me as I am not the legal owner. I then found a property and moved out within 14 days. I asked him when completion would then happen and he had no clue. This dragged on for weeks.

I then got a call from him on 7th March telling me I need to hand the keys to the buyer as she needed to move her stuff in (I still had the keys and still had belongings in there). I asked had he exchanged he said she refuses to exchange until she has the keys. I told him that that’s too risky for us both and could cause many issues. I then got a barrage of abuse and was told “she’ll call you to explain just give her whatever she wants”. She then calls me and tells me she’s a financial remedy judge (about 5 times) and how she’d never have touched the property had she known there was a matrimonial charge on it or known it was a “divorce property” (she was told this upon viewing). How her child had now lost his place at his preferred high school and that a condition of her offer was a completion date of 15th January due to her child’s school place. I asked why it hadn’t exchanged and she said she’ll do it today whilst I hand her the keys. I explained I still have stuff in there and that I’d need time to move it, she said I’ll stick it all in the garage for you. I felt bullied by both my ex and her and agreed as she repeatedly told me she’s a judge and can be trusted, that she’ll take on insurance liability, that she can’t get time off to move so needs the keys to move in the evenings, that she wants her electrician to come and put up light fittings, that she’s happy to pull out if I don’t acquiesce so I ended up hurriedly going up there grabbing what I could and handing her the keys over. I did ask when completion would happen and she said it’s out of her hands as a company is buying her home and they’re dragging their feet.

it’s now over a week later. I have asked my ex to keep my updated (we only speak on msg never face to face as it’s too volatile). He has ignored me. I still had her number from her calling me so I sent her a nice msg basically saying can she keep me in the loop as now she has the keys I have no idea when completion will be and my ex won’t tell me. She seemed very annoyed that I had msged her directly and told me she’s not the mediator between me and my ex. That this was all our fault for not completing on January 15th and that it will basically takes as long as it takes, she then asked me not to msg her again as she will only communicate with the legal owner and not to contact her again. She also threatened to remove her things and just pull out as it’s all stop stressful for her. I have also asked can his solicitor send proceeds from the property straight to me and he said his solicitor said as I’m not his client then no it will have to go to my ex then to me. This is a huge amount of money that I don’t trust him with. I have no money to obtain legal advice and I now don’t know the best course of action. I feel a bit like a fool for not demanding a completion date before handing over the keys but she’s certainly flexed her authority and knowledge as a judge over me.

Am I being unreasonable in asking the buyer to commit to a completion date and should I have give her the keys in the first place?

I'm really worried the ex and the "judge" are in this together..

I'm not sure if you are in the UK but typically the estate agent hands the keys to the buyer when the transfer of funds for the sale have been confirmed.

I think your ex is conning you in some way and you need to go back to the Solicitor who sorted out the financial order for you.

Having working in conveyancing, I have known of a few cases where a buyer began works / moved some goods in after exchange, but never before exchange.

In those two cases I can remember a contract was drawn up in which the buyer in effect became a short term Tennant for the two weeks, accepted all risk in loss and where required to insure the property.

Even in those exceptional circumstances there are still big risks to the seller of ending up with half finished work or squatting would be buyers to evict.

As has been said above, the OP does not have the right to change the locks - they keys should have been passed via the solicitor or estate agents, both of whom I would think would have advised against.

However, I still rather think the "judge" and the husband may be connected somehow.

You are being conned.

Stop believing your ex. Stop believing a random stranger who cannot prove they are a judge, she could be his girlfriend. Stop believing a solicitor who is paid to shaft you because he is representing your ex, not you.

Get your own solicitor Monday morning. Speak to the estate agent Monday morning. Get the home rights notice added Monday morning too. Otherwise you are going to lose EVERYTHING. The house sale money should be going to the conveyancing solicitor - do they know they have to send it to you? Do they have your banking details? If it goes to ex then it's gone, and your paperwork will mean absolutely nothing unless you can afford to take him to court for years? Easier to protect yourself now than chase your diminishing rights later.

I repeat - you are being conned.