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Original poster

I’m sleeping with the boss apparently

34 replies

Moana3 · 15/03/2025 17:52

I work for an owner-managed business. I am the only other director of the business. The owner is 15 years older than me.

A junior staff member (a couple of years younger than me) was staying at a hotel with the owner and I.

She has gone and told other members of staff that the owner was sleeping with me.

I am not sure how to tackle this.

  1. Do nothing. Baseless gossip comes with the job. Man up.
  2. Speak to HR and raise a formal grievance.
  3. Speak to HR and ask them to have a word with her.
  4. Confront her directly.

Has anyone been in this situation? What is the best course of action?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
MissMoan · 15/03/2025 19:55

Laura36TTC · 15/03/2025 18:13

Without a doubt- number 2

Agreed - please raise a formal grievance. This is unacceptable!

Zanina · 15/03/2025 19:18

You might just be this person's karma. Telling such a vicious lie could cause you harm and she knows that. Absolutely make that complaint. I hate liars with a passion!

LurkyMcLurkinson · 15/03/2025 19:12

I’d go straight to hr as I’d want to send a strong message to everyone that you had nothing to hide as the claim wasn’t true.

WonderingAboutThus · 15/03/2025 18:55

Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:27

No

Show quote history

Then go all the way with HR. That's ridiculous.

MayaPinion · 15/03/2025 18:35

If you raise it with HR make sure you have evidence. Make sure you read your grievance policy so you can explain why you are making the grievance - bullying, harassment, bringing the company into disrepute, etc. Do you have texts/emails/messages of her telling people or do you have witnesses who will be able to support your story? You need to have solid evidence of wrongdoing in order to make a valid grievance.

Original poster
Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:35

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 15/03/2025 18:32

What do you want the outcome to be?

Personally, I'd go direct and try to solve it, if that doesn't work then a greivance unfortunately.

As in speak with her directly?

OP posts:
Original poster
Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:34

Denimshirt · 15/03/2025 18:29

Why do you think she would have said that?

I have been asking myself this. She’s been turned down for a more senior role. Jealousy?

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 15/03/2025 18:32

What do you want the outcome to be?

Personally, I'd go direct and try to solve it, if that doesn't work then a greivance unfortunately.

Denimshirt · 15/03/2025 18:29

Why do you think she would have said that?

Original poster
Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:27

WonderingAboutThus · 15/03/2025 18:26

Are you sleeping with the boss?

No

OP posts:
Fountains · 15/03/2025 18:27

Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:23

I love my job and I’m good at it. There is no reason for me to quit. I will lodge a formal complaint with hr.

Why, though?

WonderingAboutThus · 15/03/2025 18:26

Are you sleeping with the boss?

Original poster
Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:23

I love my job and I’m good at it. There is no reason for me to quit. I will lodge a formal complaint with hr.

OP posts:
PinkCatInATree · 15/03/2025 18:22

Definitely 2.

I would also put a hex on her.

CarWatcher · 15/03/2025 18:15

Me. Last year. Everyone decided I was having an affair with my boss (again relating to a hotel stay) and upsettingly the rumours were started from within my team. They even ended up raising it with HR (who obviously dismissed it). He left the job unaware of the rumours I imagine. I was left with all the whispers and crude stories all getting back to me.

I decided to take the moral high ground while applying for other roles elsewhere. I’m not actually sure if this was the right approach or not as it made me really, really ill over a few months. I’ve been married 24 years to my lovely husband and my levels of inner suppressed rage, hurt, shock were enormous. I literally couldn’t face driving in to another day of knowing they would be spreading vicious lies and runours.

It was a toxic environment and I think in a lot of ways I was upwardly bullied by a group of nasty, individuals caught up in a cycle with one particular ring leader. With hindsight, she sneakily bitched about everyone (even her work best friend), so I probably should have been more aware that having a character like that in the team would bring problems.

Luckily I got out of there for a much better place in September, but it still really erks me that I didn't set the record straight. But who knows if people would have believed me anyway as the real story was much more boring.

Lots of strength to you. It is a truly horrible thing.

Laura36TTC · 15/03/2025 18:13

Without a doubt- number 2

Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 18:10

NeedyTiger · 15/03/2025 18:06

I'm guessing it wasn't the colleagues wife who sent it to her and one to herself then ?

Show quote history

I’m guessing this OP has an unhealthy obsession with her boss and this drama is all in her head

Original poster
Moana3 · 15/03/2025 18:10

There is no card - I’m lost. Owner is single, I am not.

OP posts:
Fountains · 15/03/2025 18:07

So your junior colleague thinks you’re shagging the boss, his wife got a mysterious card saying you were shagging the boss — are you shagging the boss?

NeedyTiger · 15/03/2025 18:06

Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 18:04

Proper fruit loop this one

I'm guessing it wasn't the colleagues wife who sent it to her and one to herself then ?

Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 18:04

Proper fruit loop this one

Gliblet · 15/03/2025 18:04

How certain are you that she's definitely been spreading rumours and that it's not whoever told you about it stirring, or someone getting the wrong end of a comment about you and the owner both sleeping over?

I might have an informal conversation with HR about it but tell them my plan was to talk to her directly first and find out what, if anything, she'd actually said and to who.

NeedyTiger · 15/03/2025 18:04

Or was it Moonpig 👀

Fountains · 15/03/2025 18:02

Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 18:00

Oh…. It’s you again

the one with the funky pidgeon card accusing you of an affair with the owner who’s 15 years older than you

Oh, I remember. The ‘loud, comical’ darts agent colleague.

OP, you’re obsessed. Time to get out of darts.

Ketchupbroc · 15/03/2025 18:00

Oh…. It’s you again

the one with the funky pidgeon card accusing you of an affair with the owner who’s 15 years older than you