We’re a group of four friends who met over twenty years ago through a shared activity. We’ve all moved away since then but try and get together every year or so. We go to various cites and get an Airbnb for a couple of nights. This year an event related to our shared interest took place in Friend 1’s city and she very kindly invited us to stay with her. She’s got a really lovely house, walking distance to the city centre, all bedrooms en suite so we jumped at the chance.
Friends 2 has a small business making a high end but not terribly expensive product - think handmade soaps sort of thing. While we were whatsapping arranging the weekend she said ‘who wants me to bring some of my new range, just launched scents x y a etc, think you’ll love them’. We thought she was offering a present. We’ve all bought from her before, happily because her products are gorgeous, so said yes, lovely. We chose various soap, one each - no one wants to be greedy! - she said ‘you sure just the one’. Friend 1 said ‘well I’d love one of the x ones too’ Friend 2 says ‘fab, I’ll bring them’. Conversation moves on and we’ve all very excited and chatty about our meet up.
Fast forward to meet up. I drove and collected friend 3 on the way, we stopped and got wine and crisps, I’d bought friend 1 something interest-related as a thank you, friend 3 also bought a present. We get to Friend 1’s house, all excited and catching up, then friend 2 arrives slightly after us, we’re all chatting away and she grabs a bag and says ‘here are the soaps’. Hands us each a little bag - packaging is really pretty - and inside is a bar of soap and an invoice for £7.50. Friend 1 - the hostess has an invoice for £15.00. Friend 2 has not bought anything. Not wine for sharing or a present for the hostess.
Now to be fair, at no point did Friend 2 say the soaps were a gift. We all misunderstood, assuming she was offering. Maybe we should have asked but how do you ask ‘is this a present or are we paying’! It all feels like a bit of a hard sell now. And I can’t understand her charging Friend 1 at all after getting free accommodation in a house way nicer than anywhere we’ve stayed before. Friend 2 isn’t tight but she is a bit gauche and thoughtless at times, if you didn’t know her well you could think she was being rude. Or I suppose she is being rude but doesn’t realise it and would be mortified to think she was.
sorry this is long, don’t want to get into trouble for drip feeding
So, AIBU?
Yes - you’re entitled and of course you should have expected to pay
No - Friend 2 should have made it clear she was selling the soaps