Never let ANYONE move in!!

So he decided to try and model a normal decent human when he realised he was losing your home?

You seriously believe this is about regard for you?
No doubt he will suggest marriage at some point and you will sign over half your home.

Unfortunately some woman have to be used and abused their whole lives.

God help you OP for what has brought you to accept such utter wasters into a home you have worked so hard on.
That you would allow someone dictate who enters your own home, your own grandson, tells me you are so vulnerable and are absolutely in a controlling abusive relationship.
He is waiting in the long grass with a mask on.
He is the same loser he always was, you are just determined not to see it.

Wishing you well. You are so going to need it the older and more vulnerable you get, surrounding yourself with users and takers.

The issue is not so much not allowing other people to move in but don't marry people from families with massive red flags. Your OH also moved in without paying any mortgage or rent. He has a slob for a brother who can't get his life together and it ended up being your problem too. Why couldn't BIL stay with his parents?

Your OH should be reassuring you that he will deal with it all at his own expense.

Did you charge any rent or get a damage deposit? Sorry haven’t read the whole thread.

Appreciate it is upsetting but if it were me I'd just be celebrating that he's gone. That's a far bigger win.

You also have the trump card if there was ever a suggestion that he return

Tell BIL it’s disgustingly dirty, and that if it’s not clean in 24 hours you’ll have to pay for a deep clean. Not clear if you charged BIL rent.

Peak Mumsnet victim blaming.

Scrub the laminate (very easily and cheaply replaced if necessary: cheaper than carpet) and wash down and paint the walls. It could be sorted over a weekend if your partner helps.

This sounds like you have control issues. He stayed against your wishes, enabled by his brother, for 2.5 years. Now you're going OTT about less than £500-worth of superficial damage. You're focussing on the superficial stuff instead of tackling the real problem, which is that you allowed your partner and his brother to override your decisions in your own home. In your shoes I'd be wanting my partner to leave too, because he enabled his brother to stay against despite your feelings.

The mess isn't the problem. Your partner is.

Sorry - I get sarcastic when I get annoyed.

I just think that you need to sit down and think about what you each bring to the table here Op. You seem nice and kind and practical and a steady job and have a house. What does your partner actually bring? If you think back to your life before he moved in (when you had savings and a lovely spare room), has he improved your life or made it worse?

If he had keys I think I'd change my locks.

Gosh! What an epiphany he had about 2 minutes after he realised that he was about to lose his lovely free housing in your lovely house.

Indeed if only you had spoken to him earlier as he just hadn’t realised that food needs to be paid for and that you should be nice to your partner’s grandchild!

We’ve had fostered children and lodgers over the years who have trashed rooms..it can all be fixed, re-decorated and re-carpeted. Really upsetting though if you’re someone who is house proud and there is no respect shown. Unfortunately, people have different values and your BIL certainly sounds like a very ungrateful, disrespectful person. Ask him to pay, or make a contribution, towards all the repair/decorating costs.

Dread to think what he’ll do to the next place.

Do you have any pictures?

It's just a room: Bin the broken drawers and redecorate. If you are angry about the cost, discuss it with your DH and ask him to pay for it as it his brother.

I understand that you are raging, but you need to stand back and get perspective: It is just a room that needs cleaning and redecorating.

And the drinking?

So probably best to read the thread before jumping in with that

this OH is a grade a tosspot. Rinsed the Op of her money. Moved his brother in for 3.5 years, then he moved out for 4 months then he moved back in for 2.5 months. And didn’t pay any rent or upkeep at all. Oh and OH had a massive go at the OP when she had her grandson stay for just one week! Oh and he’s a functioning alcoholic

Ok, that makes more sense then

I think that a lot of us think that her other half is using her - if not abusing her - and that she could - and should - do better thank a man who won’t kick out his awful brother, refuses to work thus draining her of every penny of her savings and is awful when her grandson needs to live with them temporarily in an emergency.

It’s a real pile-on this evening OP. No idea why people are being so vile to you.

Get a cleaner in and do a deep clean. Buying new chest of drawers or look on market place. Often free good condition furniture there

flooring hopefully will be able to be sorted and a quick coat of paint once cleaned

Thought so - and the OH was conspiring in keeping him kushty in their home? The others are right. Its on your OH to clean and repair.