Would you think I'm weird? Swimming

Yes, I was diagnosed with OCD in my 30s. Now in my 60s and I've been told that I likely have ASD plus ADHD, but there's no point in getting the formal diagnosis at my age. Younger family members do now have a formal diagnosis. We've all done quite well in life.

I totally get the feeling awkward. I used be a teacher, but you're putting on a show when you teach, so it was just a case of masking if you catch my meaning.

Yabu to worry what people think. Even if they are silently judging, there’s nothing you can do about it and their opinions don’t matter.

I wouldn’t think you were weird. If I did, that would be a me problem due to my judgy nature not comprehending others aren’t my business, if they’re harming no one.

Exactly this.

You sound like a great mum. This is a bit OT but hopefully forgivable. On holiday last year I noticed a lady with a lad of about 16, he was having the most incredible time stimming in the baby pool. Later saw him swimming in the big pool and could see he was an absolute water baby. Next day I saw the lady when I was with my kids, he was stimming and splashing again and so full of joy! I said to her ‘wow he really loves water’ and we chatted a bit. Turns out she was actually a specialist nanny, keeping him safe and helping him have an amazing time whilst his family took some time to do activities he would not enjoy. I had not realised that was a service you could hire for. The lady was English but lived in Tenerife. I just thought it was a brilliant idea and he was clearly having the time of his life, the hotel had about 6 different pools for him to enjoy! She seemed completely relaxed and in control and it was clearly not her first rodeo. The way she was with him I did actually think he was her son. He was having the best time ever!

Can she swim? If so I’d stand in the corner or sit on the side supervising. If she can’t you need to be within touching distance

My mum actually did this with me when I was learning to swim. She taught me, but gradually withdrew. Eventually, she just sat at the side of the pool (but wearing her costume).

Many, many years later I realised that Mum and I were both on the spectrum (though I guess that's not relevant).

Get yourself a noodle and do some noodle exercises while you're watching her. You won't feel so much like you're standing in a corner but you won't be any further away.

Your little girl might even want to join in.

Ex lifeguard here. I’m not sure if you mean it lightheartedly but just in case - please don’t do lengths. Children under 8 are supposed to be closely supervised in the pool, especially if they are weak swimmers. I have rescued children in swimming lessons who can swim a bit. It only takes a couple of seconds.

My DD is autistic. I can't even talk to her in the pool otherwise I'll overwhelm her, she's completely in her element in Water and wants to be in her own world. She's really busy. One day I spent the whole session standing in the shallow end while she stimmed (hand flapped) and stared at the divider rope bobbing up and down in the water. 40 mins of just that. She loved it..God I was bored!

I can't care what people make of me and my parenting. I don't have a choice so it's not worth wondering how people think. I mean that genuinally. Going to the pool is a big effort, she's 10 and I have to still dress and undress her while she stands there like a manikin and she's still in nappies. Then she goes her buggy. She's basically a giant baby. Who can understand this except another similar parent.

So no, I wouldn't judge you. I don't judge anything except actual abuse. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time, just keeping her safe and as happy as possible.

Nope, not at all. I don't even get fully in. I sit on the side and chuck dive toys or give directions. If I get in he just demands to be carried on my back and doesn't actually swim. I wish I could sit on the bench fully clothed rather than on the side in my cossie but hey ho!

I wouldn’t think it was weird at all. I’d just assume your child liked to do her own thing and didn’t need constant attention. If your child was constantly shouting ‘Mummy, Mummy, look at me’ and you were ignoring her, I might judge. But a happy kid splashing about independently and confidently while a parent looked on and watched from the corner? Absolutely fine.

Op I wouldn't worry about other people to be honest. My son had a meltdown the other week at his swim lesson because he'd changed his lesson day and he said the pool smelt really bad, it was just the usual chlorine smell but he does have sensitive nose. I couldn't get him to go in the pool he kept running off. I'm sure people were thinking he was being a brat. I could feel the eyes on me. I also agree about the performance parents with their constant praise its almost condescending, irritating and over the top. I praise my kids when they do things well of course but not for every silly little action, it's like they are training a dog.

I sometimes take my kids to the pool when they have excess energy to burn and I'm at the end if my tether! I tell them to entertain themselves whilst I float about (supervising behaviour) and we all get out of the pool much calmer and happier.

Couldn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks and nor should you!

I wouldn’t take any notice of you, I’d be too busy supervising my own child, but I tend to let them do what they want and I stand back and watch, I think it’s better for them to be honest, I’m there to make sure they’re safe.

I wouldn't notice. Quite a lot of 6 year olds can swim, when i take my 5 year old im watching her but not attempting to teach/play with her, she's too busy diving for sinkers.

I very much doubt I would look at you twice. I’m too busy making sure my own children aren’t drowning/ trying to drown each other.

I'd probably assume you were having a sneaky wee 😅😅😅

Just imagine we're all in the pool with you!!

As many others have said you just need to develop a thicker skin when you have children with SEN.

Definitely don't buy your pool toys at the pool!!🤣

Would she enjoy throwing a small ball back-and-forth? The dive toys are great. I used to love doing that with my dad but it just depends how confident she is diving under. She's still only really young would she enjoy chasing something like a floating flower?

There are so many things you can get that might encourage you to be a bit more interactive with you, but if she's happy just doing her own thing I wouldn't worry too much about it.

The only parents I 'judge' at the pool are the ones that are not watching their small children and are either on their phones or chatting and not even throwing a glance in their child's direction, certainly not a mum watching her child playing happily🤗

I don’t think I’d even notice!!