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Original poster

Moved in with elderly mum, hate it but stuck

213 replies

ThatAzureShark · 15/03/2025 16:04

I was persuaded by my siblings to sell my house and move into mum's large house with my kids as she's getting elderly.
I forgot how spiteful and nasty she always was, I got caught up in the moment. Now I bitterly regret it. Last month she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and getting worse.my kids hate it here.
My siblings live miles away but promised to help me but don't.
She's always moaning, shouting and insulting us- she was always like that. I'm fed up.
I have enough to buy a two up two down house in a less pleasant area but siblings are against it as say it will be too small. I've suffered badly with my mh since a teenager and really need a clear path out of this nightmare.
House is badly in need of work,mum won't pay even though can easily afford it.
Mum upset me again today and I spoke with one sibling on phone but they shut me down and hung up. Please I need steps out of this

OP posts:
catofglory · 15/03/2025 16:14

Buy your 2 up 2 down and move there, leave your mum in her house.

Your siblings can take their turn looking after her, and if they don't want to look after her they can arrange care for her.

My mother lived for 10 years with increasingly deteriorating Alzheimers. Unless you want to still be there in 8 years changing your mother's continence wear and feeding her pureed food, leave now.

Newtess · 15/03/2025 16:13

Definitely move. You're not happy.

GoldMoon · 15/03/2025 16:13

Get your own home , your siblings took the best option for them and not you .

thecatneuterer · 15/03/2025 16:12

Motorolarazr · 15/03/2025 16:10

Move.

Your siblings want you to be the nurse so they don't need to shell out for a carer or lose their inheritance if she needs to sell the house.

I think you've probably nailed it. Of course that's what is going on.

JaninaDuszejko · 15/03/2025 16:12

Do what is best for you and your kids and maybe get some therapy so you stop letting your siblings push you around.

GoodVibesHere · 15/03/2025 16:11

Why are you being told what to do by your siblings?

Motorolarazr · 15/03/2025 16:10

Move.

Your siblings want you to be the nurse so they don't need to shell out for a carer or lose their inheritance if she needs to sell the house.

fluffiphlox · 15/03/2025 16:10

Get out while you still can.

SUPerSaver721 · 15/03/2025 16:09

Why do you need your siblings permission? Your an adult get out and buy the 2 up 2 down.

Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 16:09

Leave and buy the smaller house.
I say this as someone who is planning to move my mum into my house in the next few years. My mum's nice though.

Laiste · 15/03/2025 16:08

I have enough to buy a two up two down house in a less pleasant area but siblings are against it as say it will be too small.

Bugger your siblings they just want a built in carer for the unpleasant mum.

Leave now and do your kids a favour.
Flowers

Nameychangington · 15/03/2025 16:07

Buy your 2 up 2 down and go. Siblings aren't thinking about you and your needs at all, so you don't need to listen to them. Prioritise yourself and your DC.

Sharptonguedwoman · 15/03/2025 16:06

ThatAzureShark · 15/03/2025 16:04

I was persuaded by my siblings to sell my house and move into mum's large house with my kids as she's getting elderly.
I forgot how spiteful and nasty she always was, I got caught up in the moment. Now I bitterly regret it. Last month she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and getting worse.my kids hate it here.
My siblings live miles away but promised to help me but don't.
She's always moaning, shouting and insulting us- she was always like that. I'm fed up.
I have enough to buy a two up two down house in a less pleasant area but siblings are against it as say it will be too small. I've suffered badly with my mh since a teenager and really need a clear path out of this nightmare.
House is badly in need of work,mum won't pay even though can easily afford it.
Mum upset me again today and I spoke with one sibling on phone but they shut me down and hung up. Please I need steps out of this

It sounds as though your siblings want you there so they don't have to be. Go. Life is too short.

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