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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed my colleague announced my coat size to whole office

334 replies

howemb · 15/03/2025 15:19

Bit embarrassing … or am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
Ritzybitzy · 15/03/2025 18:48

Spirallingdownwards · 15/03/2025 18:28

And here we have it! This is most likely your colleague @howemb

Edited
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Why? Because I know a large size? Doesn’t mean I would announce it or even look to be honest. People’s size is, shockingly, something you cannot hide. But that doesn’t alter that big is big.

PrettayGood · 15/03/2025 18:45

Awful! Done to fat shame and only a bitch would do that.

Reginald123 · 15/03/2025 18:44

I am not worried about @howemb but I do fear for the mother of the obnoxious work colleague (OWC).

How old is the OWC? Just think her poor mother has been subjected to coat and size 22 analysis for X plus years. The mother's self esteem must be at rock bottom.

Some thoughts were to bring a gift in ( some cake?) for OWC's mother or to ask for her email address so you can send her details of local counsellors who specialise in mother and daughter relationships.

On a serious note, I would be tempted to say something to a manager to see if they can have a quiet word if OWC has form for this - some of your work colleagues may have not had your courage to subject themselves to Mnetters and really taken the comment to heart.

InSpainTheRain · 15/03/2025 18:42

I think you have every right to be furious with her - it's a horrible thing to to and say (about you and her mum to be honest). I think I'd have a meeting with her and tell her that you were upset and didn't find acceptable. Often these types play the "oh me and my big mouth ha ha" card - actually underneath they are bitches but just act jolly to see what they can get away with. Have a meeting with her and call her out on it - you often find bullies melt away when cornered and there is no one around to give them bravado.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/03/2025 18:37

WearyAuldWumman · 15/03/2025 18:31

I had a colleague like that.* Unfortunately for me, I was her line manager. I was relieved when she retired.

*One time I was asked whether I had children. "Unfortunately, no." [DH had two adult children from his first marriage.]

Colleague: "Hee, hee! Was that DH's fault?"

Complete c*nt.

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Did you post about that? I recall a thread about that!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/03/2025 18:34

Cherry8809 · 15/03/2025 18:08

This.

“That was a strange comment; what did you mean by that? 🙂”

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🗣️ "Everyone! Hilda wants all of you to know my coat is size 22. Twenty-twooooo. Yes, that's right. I'm a bit fat."

"Anything else, Hilda? Did you want to go round to everyone and read out their coat sizes so we can all get back to work, or was it just mine you wanted to announce?"
😇

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/03/2025 18:32

YANBU and your colleague is a twat!

WearyAuldWumman · 15/03/2025 18:31

howemb · 15/03/2025 16:57

Sorry for not including much detail, I was rushing about a bit (tempted to say I was shoving food into my size 22 mouth …) It was just that though, my coat was on the back of my seat and my colleague said ‘size 22, wow, that would fit my mum!’

It is a colleague who is famed for putting her foot in her mouth so I probably wouldn’t be bothered if it hadn’t been so public!

I had a colleague like that.* Unfortunately for me, I was her line manager. I was relieved when she retired.

*One time I was asked whether I had children. "Unfortunately, no." [DH had two adult children from his first marriage.]

Colleague: "Hee, hee! Was that DH's fault?"

Complete c*nt.

abracadabra1980 · 15/03/2025 18:30

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

EasterIssland · 15/03/2025 18:29

Yanbu. It’s body shaming and I’d be tempted to raise it with HR so they stop having the food in their mouth and shaming others

Spirallingdownwards · 15/03/2025 18:28

Ritzybitzy · 15/03/2025 17:31

size 14 is big.

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And here we have it! This is most likely your colleague @howemb

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 15/03/2025 18:24

howemb · 15/03/2025 16:57

Sorry for not including much detail, I was rushing about a bit (tempted to say I was shoving food into my size 22 mouth …) It was just that though, my coat was on the back of my seat and my colleague said ‘size 22, wow, that would fit my mum!’

It is a colleague who is famed for putting her foot in her mouth so I probably wouldn’t be bothered if it hadn’t been so public!

Yup that is rude. I’d have replied “Wow, that’s rude! At least my coat isn’t as big as your mouth”

Snorlaxo · 15/03/2025 18:14

I’ve heard of big bums, boobs or hips requiring a bigger size but not an unusually big pelvis not obvious to the naked eye. Does she have a defined thigh gap then ?

ToWhitToWhoo · 15/03/2025 18:10

howemb · 15/03/2025 16:57

Sorry for not including much detail, I was rushing about a bit (tempted to say I was shoving food into my size 22 mouth …) It was just that though, my coat was on the back of my seat and my colleague said ‘size 22, wow, that would fit my mum!’

It is a colleague who is famed for putting her foot in her mouth so I probably wouldn’t be bothered if it hadn’t been so public!

Yes, that WAS incredibly rude of her.

I had wondered if it was just that someone had found your coat and was trying to find out whom it belonged to, so was giving all the details.

But this is different: a gratuitously rude comment.

MyLimeGuide · 15/03/2025 18:08

WhatPostDoc · 15/03/2025 18:01

I work in an environment where you have to wear protective clothing in various areas. Protective clothing is hung on pegs by size and you go grab the one you need. If more than one person it's very common for the one by the peg to ask what you want and pass it to you.

So for me it's pretty normal to know what size people use and couldn't care less 🤣 some people (myself included) probably wear larger than needed as more comfortable round the hips as they're unisex.

Completely different to this situation.

Cherry8809 · 15/03/2025 18:08

LiveinHarmony · 15/03/2025 17:39

Agreed. I also find saying, "What do you mean by that?" can leave the individual a little flustered, scrambling for words, which is quite entertaining to watch, especially infront of the room full of people they have been a tit infront of. 😂

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This.

“That was a strange comment; what did you mean by that? 🙂”

LiveinHarmony · 15/03/2025 18:08

Newtess · 15/03/2025 18:05

Thoughtless of her. Foot in mouth rather than aren't you fat? I have a tactless colleague. I generally feel sorry for her as most dislike her and she's no idea why.

I honestly think that some of these people are less oblivious than some may think; they know what they're doing. Funnily enough, they don't have such thick skin the other way around.

Flamingoknees · 15/03/2025 18:08

YANBU "wow, size 22!" is not the same as "whose is this? Size 22?". I can't understand how some PP can't see that. Unless they haven't read your update.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/03/2025 18:07

andthat · 15/03/2025 18:01

She’s a dick and utterly insensitive for making that comment. So rude.

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People hiding behind the "oh, foot in mouth" trope are typically rude.

Newtess · 15/03/2025 18:05

Thoughtless of her. Foot in mouth rather than aren't you fat? I have a tactless colleague. I generally feel sorry for her as most dislike her and she's no idea why.

LiveinHarmony · 15/03/2025 18:04

WhatPostDoc · 15/03/2025 18:01

I work in an environment where you have to wear protective clothing in various areas. Protective clothing is hung on pegs by size and you go grab the one you need. If more than one person it's very common for the one by the peg to ask what you want and pass it to you.

So for me it's pretty normal to know what size people use and couldn't care less 🤣 some people (myself included) probably wear larger than needed as more comfortable round the hips as they're unisex.

But you're missing the point of the thread. This post isn't about people finding out your size in an organic way. It is about a woman shaming op infront of the entire office; there was absolutely no reason at all to announce her size. She wasn't ordering a uniform. This was targeted and a deliberate bitchy comment, aimed to shame/tear op down.

TortolaParadise · 15/03/2025 18:01

TotallyForgettableForNow · 15/03/2025 15:42

Personally, I would think a person doing that was a bit of a twat.
I am a size 20/22, yes people have eyes but sometimes I try and delude myself that 'I carry it well' so I might look like a size 18🤣
I assume the OP is on the larger side as I can't imagine any sizes 8-10 would be mortified if someone mentioned their coat size.

Also coat sizes are sometimes bought bigger to accommodate the layers worn beneath.
And... depending on the store you may will sometimes be a size 18.

andthat · 15/03/2025 18:01

howemb · 15/03/2025 16:57

Sorry for not including much detail, I was rushing about a bit (tempted to say I was shoving food into my size 22 mouth …) It was just that though, my coat was on the back of my seat and my colleague said ‘size 22, wow, that would fit my mum!’

It is a colleague who is famed for putting her foot in her mouth so I probably wouldn’t be bothered if it hadn’t been so public!

She’s a dick and utterly insensitive for making that comment. So rude.

WhatPostDoc · 15/03/2025 18:01

I work in an environment where you have to wear protective clothing in various areas. Protective clothing is hung on pegs by size and you go grab the one you need. If more than one person it's very common for the one by the peg to ask what you want and pass it to you.

So for me it's pretty normal to know what size people use and couldn't care less 🤣 some people (myself included) probably wear larger than needed as more comfortable round the hips as they're unisex.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/03/2025 17:59

LiveinHarmony · 15/03/2025 17:51

Because this colleague was trying to shame op, by being a bitch to her, infront of the entire office. It is great that this wouldn't embarrass you, but we are all different; this behaviour is never okay, regardless of what size you look. It would be like saying, "God you have a huge nose" or "a massive arse" infront of a room full of people.

I also feel the same with people saying, "OMG, you're so skinny, you don't eat enough", etc. Just F* right off to these individuals with their body shaming, sugar-coated as compliments!

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Yes, it is bullying and harrassing. It is completely inappropriate to make personal comments like that at work regardless.