DH refusing to help out

I'm curious to know what was said to the friend about needing a lift.

I somehow don't think it was "husband cba to take me after already offering three times"

I don't actually think this is real.

But I'll bite anyway.

Yes yabu of course.
Why don't you drive?
If it's a medical reason - why on earth do you live somewhere without public transport links?
Why did you not get this item delivered?
Yes if you're reliant on someone else for lifts all the time they might get grumpy about it sometimes, and you have to get the lift when it's convenient for them.

Am I being unreasonable?
YES cry 96%
Why do you live in an isolated place and yet you've not learned to drive? everyone asks.
And @KeenPeachExpert is not heard from again...

I think you've made your own bed, so lie in it. Why move to an isolated area when you can't drive. That's your problem, not DHs.

Why were you still upset about an argument a week later even when he was offering to help you out? That seems OTT. And the fact you refused to go seems petty and the fact you have got yourself into a bind over this item is your responsibility, not DHs.

The housework issue is irrelevant to this situation, unless you specifically agreed "I'll do all the housework as long as you drive me whenever I need it"

Why don't you drive?

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to take me?

He offered & you said no.

What lesson were you trying to teach him by refusing to be driven where you wanted to go?

What was it like at home for the two weeks between the weekends? Has there been sulking about other issues, or just this one? Because I could not be arsed to be in a relationship like that

Who thinks YANBU?! You were in a strop for two weekends (so nearly 3 weeks) because he wouldn't take you somewhere at your bidding when you don't drive. Then decided you weren't in a strop with him anymore because you needed him to drive you somewhere. I'd also have told you where to go. Grow up. And learn to drive.

He offered to take you the previous 2 weekends but you were being awkward so YABU

@Justcallmebebes why do you think her husband is a deadbeat?

You're the unreasonable one for sulking for two weekends in a row. Of course he's going to react the next time you beg for a lift.

You're unreasonable to live somewhere isolated with poor public transport if you don't drive.

You're daft to do the bulk of the housework if you both work the same amount, however if you expect DH to act as your chauffeur then you need to compensate by doing some things in return.

Learn to drive or move house and make DH do his share of household tasks/life admin etc.

This. Learn to drive so you're not reliant on your deadbeat DH. TBH he has a point though, you're not a child and living rurally with a non driver who is reliant on you to get them out and about is really tiresome

Not unreasonable to want him to take you, but very unreasonable to expect him to still take you after he’s offered twice and you e sulked and refused. You sound like you have some growing up to do.

He said he asked me three times over the previous two weekends and I had said no, so he was t prepared to take me.

i ended up having to take a lift from a friend but I cannot keep doing this.

Collect your parcel. He's offered 3 times, what more do you need?

As for the housework, in this scenario, it doesn't matter. Grow up and go collect your parcel. You don't drive, he does.

Learn to drive, problem solved. Probably relationship solved too.

You sound hard work... 😆

You are both ridiculous.

Yes he should help more but by the same token you should stop being belligerent.

Also, bloody well learn to drive. Get a few automatic lessons and get a move on. I took my driving test when I was in my 30s. I didn't need it before then as I lived somewhere with excellent transport links but the minute we moved more rurally I got lessons. It changed our lives and made us all so much happier.

If you can’t drive then you can’t afford to turn down lifts or use click&collect.

He clearly doesn’t see driving as doing his share of the housework so that is a different battle for you to fight.

Why do you live remotely when you can’t drive? When I couldn’t drive, I lived in the city or suburbs so I always had taxis and public transport available to me.

Thing is that he was not refusing to help. He offered the olive branch of taking you, two weekends. In reality you have sulked for over two weeks.

I agree with others it can be a pain being the permanent driver. Learn to drive or if you really cannot then I would move to a town with at least a decent bus service.

I'd be frustrated living with a non driver with no transport links so I can understand its tiresome, how have you ended up in this situation? Longer term I'd consider learning to drive or moving to somewhere with better bus links.

There are 2 separate issues - he offered to take you twice but you said no because you were annoyed which is petty, then you expect him to drop everything when you suddenly realise you need the items. Yabu.

Yanbu in not wanting to do the majority of the chores though, he should definitely be pulling his weight in that regard.

I think you just need to have a conversation about the logistics of your lives as it won't just get better on it's own

I don’t understand why you refused to go and get the item over a couple of weeks when he offered? Did you feel you were making some kind of point?

Why don’t you drive?

Why did you choose to live in an area with no public transport if you don’t drive?

Go it apologies

It becomes tedious having to drive a partner around after a while. It feels somewhat like you have lost all autonomy in your own life and as though you have a dependent rather than a partner.

Of course if there are medical reasons it slightly differs but whatever the reason, refusing 2 weekends in a row because you are sulking is unreasonable. To then become annoyed when your husband consequently declines to drive you is hugely entitled behaviour.

@Ketchupbroc- I think you've misunderstood. I haven't driven her there 3 times. I've made myself available to her to drive her there if she wanted me to.

Ah yes I see

Honestly learn to drive and if not you need to be really organized and get things done with buses. Also get things delivered as opposed to picking up from the shop. I live in a fairly isolated area and not driving is not an option for me. We can still get Amazon etc here so it does depend a bit how isolated you are.

I live rurally & I can’t drive - but I get around entirely under my own steam. Buses, walking, táxis - I never expect DH to drive me anywhere. If he offers fine, but my inability to drive isn’t his fault so I don’t expect him to be inconvenienced by it.

so yes YABU