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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send an employee to a client even though she refuses because of her religion?

640 replies

GelatinousDynamo · 15/03/2025 13:30

I have a new employee in my team, she is a devout Muslim. She's been with us since January and there were no issues so far, she's getting along well with everyone and her performance was fine. I sent her an email on Friday afternoon to say that our client has now (finally) prepared all necessary documents and that she should go there and go over everything with them one day next week. She wrote me back today that she can't do that because only men work in the department and she can't spend the day alone with strange men (because of her religion).

AIBU to insist that she does her job and goes there or would that be religious discrimination? She shares an office with a male colleague and has never complained about it. She's the first devout Muslim I've ever had on my team and I honestly have no experience at all with such issues. She's the only one who has the necessary experience and isn't already scheduled elsewhere.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 15/03/2025 14:02

Hoppinggreen · 15/03/2025 13:52

Oh look, an employment lawyer has arrived!

I'm right though. You can't take a job and then refuse to do it on religious grounds. Two months in and she's being a PITA. Get rid.

Alcazaba1 · 15/03/2025 14:01

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Speak to HR ASAP to follow disciplinary procedure. If she is capable, but unwilling to do her job properly, then that is grounds for dismissal.

Quinlan · 15/03/2025 14:00

You’ll have to ignore almost every answer you get here as you’ve posted in AIBU. There is a legal issues board, why didn’t you post there?

Bromptotoo · 15/03/2025 13:59

I think sacking her would be dangerous ground.

Religion or belief is a protected characteristic and she may say not being alone with men is sufficiently fundamental to her belief that you are discriminating.

I think you need to have a conversation with her so that you both have a common understanding of her problem and what workarounds might exist?

Can she swap the role with another employee for the visit in question.

mudandgrass · 15/03/2025 13:59

TourangaLeila · 15/03/2025 13:57

This would 100% be discrimination. Discrimination means treating someone unfairly or less favourably on the basis of a protected characteristic.

Is there an adjustment you can put in place to make this possible for her? It would be the reasonable and right thing to do.

Basically, she needs a female chaperone.

Firing her on the basis of not being able to do something because of her religion would also be discrimination.

This is simply not true.

Bailamosse · 15/03/2025 13:58

Imagine actually sending an email like that to your boss just saying you won’t do something, and thinking it’s fine. Other people will have to pick up your slack.

Off the charts entitlement.

mudandgrass · 15/03/2025 13:57

biscuitsandbooks · 15/03/2025 13:46

Religion is a protected characteristic.

Just send someone else with her.

That doesn’t mean religious people get to refuse to do core requirements of their job because ‘religion’. A Christian could not take a job that requires Sunday working and then refuse to work Sundays, for example.

The law means you can’t discriminate against someone due to their religion, such as treating someone less favorably or refusing them promotion due to their religion. Requiring someone to do a core requirement of their job is not discrimination.

TourangaLeila · 15/03/2025 13:57

This would 100% be discrimination. Discrimination means treating someone unfairly or less favourably on the basis of a protected characteristic.

Is there an adjustment you can put in place to make this possible for her? It would be the reasonable and right thing to do.

Basically, she needs a female chaperone.

Firing her on the basis of not being able to do something because of her religion would also be discrimination.

arcticpandas · 15/03/2025 13:56

What if you're jewish, your job has irregular hours and you refuse to work if you're scheduled during shabbat ? Seriously, I'm sick of all religions when they're used as an excuse to be a CF or commit terrorist attacks.

pistaacioaquestion · 15/03/2025 13:56

Hoppinggreen · 15/03/2025 13:52

Oh look, an employment lawyer has arrived!

😂😂😂😂

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 15/03/2025 13:56

Call your employers advisory service and take advice.

If they say it's fine, then I'd actually be doing a check up with her to see if there's something more going on under the surface.

I was SA and for a long time after that I couldn't be around men alone.

Men in the communal office along with other women, fine. Men on public transport, fine. Men alone, absolutely not fine.

GelatinousDynamo · 15/03/2025 13:55

I'll try to answer a few questions:

  • she never mentioned it in the interviews and this issue never came up before
  • the meeting can't be held on zoom or in a café
  • we work in advisory, so all of us work closely with clients and she joined our team because of her specific skill set - there is no replacement, at least not on such a short notice

As for why I didn't ask HR: it's a Saturday, they aren't working, and it's bothering me. My DH says I should just fire her, but he's obviously not a lawyer. And to be honest, I feel a little ashamed to ask people in person as I'm not sure if I'm not just being ignorant and Mumsnet is a wild mix of different people with broad experiences, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to "probe the mood" a little. I'll obviously talk to HR next week.

OP posts:
pistaacioaquestion · 15/03/2025 13:55

saraclara · 15/03/2025 13:52

Because it's Saturday, and OP only hear from the employee this morning?

Why not ask here while waiting to speak to HR on Monday?

Or why not message a fellow colleague who works in the same field rather than heading to mumsnet?

glacancalman · 15/03/2025 13:55

If she's been a good employee otherwise and gets on well with the rest of the team I'd look for a reasonable adjustment here. Send another female employee along with her if that will work. That'll be cheaper than having to replace this employee.

Potsofpetals · 15/03/2025 13:55

biscuitsandbooks · 15/03/2025 13:46

Religion is a protected characteristic.

Just send someone else with her.

It is but not technically true in this case. The law states:

  • Employers have a duty to consider employee requests related to religion or belief, but they are not obligated to grant them.
  • Employers should consider reasonable accommodations to enable employees to practice their religion, but this must be balanced with the needs of the business.

I personally would not make a big deal out of this, leave it a few months then let her go without a reason given. Pay her the PILE she is entitled to and send her on her way.

You need team players not excuses.

saraclara · 15/03/2025 13:52

pistaacioaquestion · 15/03/2025 13:44

This is such a good point

Because it's Saturday, and OP only hear from the employee this morning?

Why not ask here while waiting to speak to HR on Monday?

Bailamosse · 15/03/2025 13:52

Speak to HR and find out how to get rid of her as she can’t do her job.

Hoppinggreen · 15/03/2025 13:52

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/03/2025 13:50

She's taking the piss. Get rid sooner rather than later

Oh look, an employment lawyer has arrived!

biscuitsandbooks · 15/03/2025 13:52

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/03/2025 13:50

She's taking the piss. Get rid sooner rather than later

Sure, if OP wants to be sued.

pistaacioaquestion · 15/03/2025 13:51

@OldCottageGreenhouseI get your point but the analogy doesn’t quite work. A devout Christian would have no reason to not attend a meeting with someone gay/trans. They may possibly object to attending a wedding of a gay or trans couple due to their religion, but there’s nothing to say they can’t attend a business meeting with anyone gay/trans. And I say this as a devout Catholic. Anyone using Christianity as an excuse for not doing a business meeting for this reason would be missing the message of “judge not lest you yourself be judged”. Sorry went off on a tangent there, but I do appreciate you acknowledging how Christian employees are often not given the same acceptance as employees of other faiths.

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/03/2025 13:51

If she can’t do her job in its entirety, she’s not suitable for the role.

biscuitsandbooks · 15/03/2025 13:51

Jimisnotmyname · 15/03/2025 13:50

I guess this will cost the business a lot of money esp if it's a repeat issue going forward? The is cost involved

Cheaper than sacking her and being confronted with a lawsuit for wrongful discrimination...

mudandgrass · 15/03/2025 13:51

I have quite strong views on this. She is employed to do a job. If her beliefs prevent her from doing this job then the onus is on her to make the sacrifice for her religion by not taking a job that conflicts with her beliefs.

I am a vegetarian but I would never take a job in a restaurant then refuse to serve people meat. I make the sacrifices for my beliefs.

Having said that, you would need to speak to an employment lawyer for the legal position on this. Because that is really what is relevant here

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/03/2025 13:50

She's taking the piss. Get rid sooner rather than later

sometimesmovingforwards · 15/03/2025 13:50

Could be a tricky subject.
But it’s unnecessary shit I’d not need in the workplace.
So I’d just ensure she didn’t pass probation and get her out, the quicker the better is easier.
Then I can get someone suitable rather than someone I have to pander to.
And learn from it for the future…

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