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Constant arguing because I word things wrong

40 replies

Wellthatwasalogday82 · 15/03/2025 12:22

Dh and I barely talk and that because every time I open my mouth DH moans about how I have worded something or I have aid something wrong or answered a question not how I expect an answer. It is draining.

Today's example. Dh is making lunch. Asked I wanted a roll and what in it. I said I wanted some cheese, just sliced not grated. I then added I can it if you want (as he keeps moaning i don't do anything - thata a whole different story)

Blew up and went mad as apparently that's me saying he's not capable, and I should have said would you like me to help and do it?

Other examples, if he asks if I want a drink and I reply with squash please, that's not the answer as I should just say yes and then he'll ask what I want.

I'm so tired from it all

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 15/03/2025 12:34

He doesn't like you OP.

CwmYoy · 15/03/2025 12:33

another vote for #cunt

ConnieHeart · 15/03/2025 12:32

Blimey he sounds like my 15 year old dd being finickity and even she's not as bad as that! He needs to grow up

NigellaAwesome · 15/03/2025 12:32

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 15/03/2025 12:30

You’re being emotionally abused

Perfect and succinct analysis.

Bluenotgreen · 15/03/2025 12:32

First response nailed it.

Why are you still with him OP? Do you feel trapped?

nightmarepickle2025 · 15/03/2025 12:31

I hope you don't have kids with him, this is the sort of behaviour that escalates

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 15/03/2025 12:30

You’re being emotionally abused

rubberduck68 · 15/03/2025 12:29

He's trying to score points with every conversation. Sit him down, speak to him very slowly and clearly – as he has the emotional intelligence of a toddler – and tell him that unless he stops, he's out! See if he thinks you worded that properly!

Seeingalight · 15/03/2025 12:28

Other examples, if he asks if I want a drink and I reply with squash please, that's not the answer as I should just say yes and then he'll ask what I want.
My DH is the opposite, if I said yes and waited for him to ask "what" he would say that it's like getting blood out of a stone. Good naturedly though.

Your DH is being awkward, is he like this with other people eg work colleagues, extended family, or just you?

Plantmother71 · 15/03/2025 12:26

He’s just being a dick, and it’s tiresome - exH is the same. Mine would also say he’d told me things he hadn’t, and claim I’d not mentioned things or events clearly in family calendar. This is why mine is an ex. It’s no way to live and eventually wears you down.

Can you explain how you feel and say you want to improve communication? Your H is not being reasonable at all. He likely won’t change.

If he can’t try and change then, seriously, think whether you can live like this forever. Because it affects your self esteem and it’s just not worth it.

SparklyGlitterballs · 15/03/2025 12:25

You can't win with this one OP. If you'd just answered "yes to the question about a drink then no doubt he'd have complained that you should have said "yes, squash please" so that he didn't have to ask a second question asking which drink.

Has he always been like this?

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 15/03/2025 12:24

Oh FFS. He's a controlling bastard.

Redshoeblueshoe · 15/03/2025 12:24

He is deliberately doing it to wind you up. I couldn't cope with that.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/03/2025 12:23

This is NOT your fault, @Wellthatwasalogday82 - this is your 'd'h acting like a total arsehole. And gaslighting you into thinking it is your fault.

THATbasicgirl · 15/03/2025 12:23

Hes a cunt

Get rid

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