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why only women mostly do these things? what do men do?

158 replies

CoursesForHorsesandMares · 15/03/2025 11:41

Over the past years say like a decade maybe longer I have done lots of different activities including short courses. Initially (like many women who made a similar mistake!) I started out with wine tasting when I was in a dating mind set and I did it to try to meet some men and broaden my social circle. Of course as anyone who has done this will tell you, wine tasting is 99% women trying to meet men who arent there!

Since then I've done lots of different courses for things I was interested in learning - not to meet guys -but a comment on a different thread (about walking groups) made me think that actually all of these courses are just women -maybe you get one or two men but in every case it is hugely dispropotionate weighting. This covers a really wide range of subjects from lots of varied providers - art based courses, computer based courses, acting courses, language course, comedy courses, wine tasting I've mentioned, street skating, skiiing, climbing. Even the ones that are less stereotypically 'female' - same thing again - almost all women.

Doesn't matter what the subject is - it's always women and not just single women with very few men. If you have a group of say 10 or 15, usually one man maybe two. Why is this? Is it women who are just interested in learning? Or is there something else? It's really strange because the law of averages should dictate a greater male attendance. I'm not saying 50:50 but maybe even 60:40 is so far away.

Why is it so disproportionate? What are men never doing these kinds of things?

OP posts:
MayaPinion · 15/03/2025 12:35

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/03/2025 12:22

MayaPinion · Today 12:19
I used to do aqua aerobics - a class of 14 woman and one man. He was affectionately called Aquaman

Does he look like Jason Mamoa? Where is this class, please? Asking for a friend 😁

Sadly not 😂😂😂 His doctor recommended it following his knee replacement 😂😂😂 He was a lovely man though.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 12:34

Neurodiversitydoctor · 15/03/2025 12:24

How and why do cities have more women than men ? Is it single male farmers who are rurally based skewing the stats?

More or less, yes. Cities have more office jobs. I'm sure google will have more info, but it's a real thing.

TheaBrandt1 · 15/03/2025 12:33

Sporty ones do cycling with other men less sporty ones watch rugby in groups at rugby ground or in pubs - looking at the men in my demographic anyway.

anniegun · 15/03/2025 12:31

Organised sport can be very male biased. So many more men play golf, football, cycling, rugby and cricket.

SuspiciousChipmunk · 15/03/2025 12:31

Men are already more inclined to have interest like sport, etc, where they have friends or acquaintances to socialise with. For example going to the pub to watch football or rugby.

SnakesandKnives · 15/03/2025 12:29

0ohLarLar · 15/03/2025 12:09

I think a lot of men, especially those beyond about 30, genuinely aren't fussed about socialising, and particularly not through group classes. I think their focus is solely on skill acquisition as opposed to appreciate something like a watercolour class partly for social engagement too.

I think there’s a lot of truth to this.

I (my horse) recently broke a leather head collar - my OH decided he wanted to have a go at fixing it so went and watched a number of YouTube videos, bought a leather making kit for about £70 and some leather and made a band to replace the old one. Then he made a couple of wallets and then he made this handbag for his mum

he did look for an evening course but the ones he found were either miles away or didn’t start for several months. And all were (totally fairly!) many more times as much as he spent on all the stuff he needed to actually do it

why only women mostly do these things? what do men do?
Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 12:27

JudgeJ · 15/03/2025 12:25

Or maybe they're not as desperate!

Is going to a choir or a book club or a walking group desperate? I don't see it that way.
I know that on MN one can't admit to liking people. I like people though.
And I have a lot of energy, now I am done with childcare.

JudgeJ · 15/03/2025 12:25

Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 11:48

I think men, especially middle aged men, are far less social.

Or maybe they're not as desperate!

Neurodiversitydoctor · 15/03/2025 12:24

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 12:10

In my current evening class we are about equal, maybe even more men, but it's something that might help people's careers.
If a course is done 'for fun' then I'd think it's more like a social club and in general women are 'joiners' whereas men aren't and I think the main reason for this is that it's more acceptable for men to just go to the pub by themselves and start chatting to the other men in the pub. Women (in general) don't do this, so need to join a club/group.
Also, some cities really just have a lot more women than men.

How and why do cities have more women than men ? Is it single male farmers who are rurally based skewing the stats?

biscuitsandbooks · 15/03/2025 12:24

Most middle aged men would hate the kind of organised fun you're describing.

TeamMandrake · 15/03/2025 12:24

I can think of quite a few different clubs/groups I've attended which were very male dominated. E.g. Scuba diving, archery. Orienteering, running club, cycling and ski lessons were more even. The art/craft lessons I've attended have only had the odd token bloke.

theribbonroom · 15/03/2025 12:23

I hear you

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/03/2025 12:22

MayaPinion · Today 12:19
I used to do aqua aerobics - a class of 14 woman and one man. He was affectionately called Aquaman

Does he look like Jason Mamoa? Where is this class, please? Asking for a friend 😁

MayaPinion · 15/03/2025 12:21

If it’s classes for older people more men are in ill health or dead than women. My mum (82) goes to an art class with 10 women and two men. All of them, everyone in the art class, is widowed.

FuckityFux · 15/03/2025 12:20

Yes, that’s been my experience too.

For the same reason that many men won’t ask for help with a task or directions when they’re lost, they hate being perceived as lesser.

My DH has no real male friends because he’s just not interested in getting to know them better. He’s not sporty and doesn’t like pubs and prefers reading and solitary diy type activities.

Writerbiter · 15/03/2025 12:20

From the men that I know, their main interests are sport related so they're either doing this solo, at a specific club or at home watching the sport. The women I know are far more likely to try their hand at new activities or want to be part of a group so will sign up for a class for the social aspect as well as the new skill.

Plus, let's be honest, men can just go the pub and have a quiet pint. I go the pub for a quiet drink and some man will always try his luck "what a nice lady like you is doing in here", it's no wonder we're all booking pottery classes.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 12:20

MayaPinion · 15/03/2025 12:19

I used to do aqua aerobics - a class of 14 woman and one man. He was affectionately called Aquaman.

Yoga and pilates are like that as well.

MayaPinion · 15/03/2025 12:19

I used to do aqua aerobics - a class of 14 woman and one man. He was affectionately called Aquaman.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 12:18

Ottersmith · 15/03/2025 12:17

I suppose that's why they invented men's shed, so men would go out and do something social, as it doesn't seem to come naturally to a lot of them. I used to go to a Ceilidh in England. Any man wanting to meet someone would have done very well there as it was 90% women.

Most dancing things are mainly women and women often have to dance the male role.

Globules · 15/03/2025 12:18

Lentilweaver · 15/03/2025 11:48

I think men, especially middle aged men, are far less social.

Or they're all outside being MAMILs

Ottersmith · 15/03/2025 12:17

I suppose that's why they invented men's shed, so men would go out and do something social, as it doesn't seem to come naturally to a lot of them. I used to go to a Ceilidh in England. Any man wanting to meet someone would have done very well there as it was 90% women.

wherearemypastnames · 15/03/2025 12:16

@CoursesForHorsesandMares
mostiy music these days

GreenCandleWax · 15/03/2025 12:16

Movinghouseatlast · 15/03/2025 11:59

It's not man hating, it's the truth. Many academic studies have shown that men tend, more than women, to think they can just go ahead and do something rather than learn how to do it first. It's due to evolution- men had to take risks to hunt for food.

An example of this is when a man reads a job spec he will apply even though he may not meet all the criteria. Women tend to not apply if they feel they don't meet 100% of the criteria. Obviously this is to womens detriment.

It is often defined ( by men usually!) as men being confident and women being underconfident but it's much deeper than that.

Edited

Probably also to do with millennia of women being told they were not as good, not as able or intelligent or just downright inferior. That has an effect on our collective confidence, so women may feel they want to know for certain (by being taught by someone) that they are doing whatever it is right. Does not explain the more eclectic interests of women on courses, though.

ImAChangeling · 15/03/2025 12:15

Male arrogance and risk taking plays a part for sure. Much as I love the men in my life, they seem to think that they can just teach themselves, or wing it, whereas in general, women will be more measured and seek instruction.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/03/2025 12:14

"Maybe they all just sit at home lonely."

Or they're at the pub?
My gd met his friends at his local library, nothing planned, they'd just be there.

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