why only women mostly do these things? what do men do?

The probably do it to make friends and socialise, as it's really hard to do this when you are 40-45+ especially. Also, some women want a break from their man, and the children, and a few hours a week doing their own thing.......

Men do the same, but with golf, fishing, cycling, and football - and going down the pub!

I joined a book group which started with about 20 people of which one was a man. The worst thing was that whenever he spoke up (a lot) the other women were all ears at his pearls of predictable and dull wisdom. So depressing.

I think it's that the op is talking about classes. Men do things, they just don't want anyone to teach them how to do them.

Dh and I are thinking of taking up a new sport. Neither of us have played it before and neither of us know much about it. I suggested that we start with a beginners lesson to see how it goes. There is no way he will go to a lesson, even if it's a private lesson for just the two of us. He is under the impression that he can just start playing. If only we all had the confidence of a middle aged white man.

I've attended a few random courses and groups, because I enjoy learning new things and meeting new people (most of the time...).

Whilst hubs does like learning new skills, he's definitely someone who'd rather visit YouTube and just have a go. He generally says he's antisocial 🤣 but I also think he's of the opinion that he can just give something a go, and not need an in person tutor for it.

My dad is very sociable, but I've never know him join a group or course for things!

Not on MN, no...😀 Here it's all I hate people I never want to leave the house everbody irritates me etc etc.
IRL I think some do.

Are women looking for friends more than men are? I will actively search for groups to find new friends while dh is happy with a solo hike or bike ride.

When I was a barmaid, in the very distant past, I would often call in for a pint by myself. But I guess it was different, because I always knew someone in there.
I still think women by themselves in pubs are seen as waiting for someone, rather than wanting to sit and have a pint. It's like one of the last places where we're still outsiders.

They don't hang out much in churches. The one I go to is practically all women, with none or two older men and one middle aged one. Some men accompany their wives to church but the people who run everything are all women.

My friend does kayaking and welding and says it's mostly men in these groups. I did woodworking and found the same.

I agree with those who say men just tend not to be joiners. Although my DH has recently joined something for once - it's a brass band and again, mostly men.

I went with a (female) friend to a small creative writing group in a local bookshop.

Half of the attendees were men, including the course leader and the bookshop owner.

It didn't take long for the men to take offense at criticism, even though that's exactly why we were there. We both said that we were on eggshells with the men and felt that we had to massage their egos in a way that we certainly didn't with the other women.

Made us both glad to not be single!

I wonder if it is also to do with the demands on women at home - housework, kids etc still overwhelmingly fall to women so if they want to do something else they need to get out of the house. Men just ignore stuff needing doing around the house and do what they want anyway (not all men, etc etc). Often Mum is the go-to person for kids to pester which makes it hard to focus on an activity at home.

I can't speak for all men but my husband isn't keen on anything too "organised" and likes to "be spontaneous" as he puts it. Ironically this means he usually ends up doing nothing much socially unless I've organised it ...

He would baulk at the idea of doing an exercise class or course, but would happily go for a walk or bike ride alone or if someone he knew suggested it.

Before we met he would go to the local pub and have a pint. Nice times out of ten someone he knew would turn up and he'd stay longer having a chat/another drink. Often his brother who lived nearby. If not he'd head home but said he still enjoyed the change of scene for that half hour or so. Whereas I can't imagine going to a pub for a drink on my own when I hadn't planned to meet someone.

It's just ... different.

Interesting… I just totted up the numbers for the music groups I play with and the split is about 50:50. But I did notice that the split is different within the groups at different levels. Men dominate the more advanced players, most of the intermediate players are women, beginners are more evenly split but with slightly more women. There does seem to be a trend that many more of the women learnt as adults but the men played from a young age. The men who start as beginners seem to either drop out or take it very seriously. They are often “all or nothing” about it.

BIL tried joining groups to meet women in his 30s. He had the opposite issue that everything he joined was male dominated 😂 He tried photography, Italian cookery, stained glass, badminton and sailing classes, I think.

My hobbies are mostly blokes there, sometimes 90%+ blokes.
I don't do learning courses though, maybe that's the reason.

Most of my hobbies are solitary, true. It's just so much hassle to coordinate with other ppl and some of them have very loudly voiced strong opinions how I do (anyone does) things, ffs. Leave me alone, happy with my own ways.

only took 7 posts for you to wilfully misinterpret an innocuous post and garnish your ignorance with a 😆
Classic MN

Perhaps they think that they already know everything.

Took my friend to a rock gig recently. Her first comment after walking in was "so here is where all the men are".

Women need other people as part of their support system and seek them out in all areas of life. They need the emotional connection to others and join groups as much to be sociable as to the actual activity. Men have been bought up to be more insular.
In a school playground girls socialise in a completely different way to boys. This carries on through life. Men don’t tend to be “joiners” unless it’s team sports.

Join a cycling club. That seems to be all men from what I’ve seen on the roads!

I agree - older men do tend to embrace the solitary. I think it's something very deeply rooted in evolution.

Whenever you see David Attenborough documentaries about groups of animals, the older males - bonobos, lions - are always sitting alone, apparently perfectly content and contemplating their next meal, while the females hang out in groups. Silverback gorillas particularly remind me of a lot of middle-aged men, chewing the occasional leaf and wearing an expression that says, 'look, just leave me in peace, eh, unless something important comes up.'

When men socialise, it tends to be with other men. I don't think it's because of sports specifically. That's just a vehicle for male company. And even then, once a week seems to be quite enough.

I am frequently the only woman in the weights room at the gym. But then again knuckle dragging meat heads arent much use to anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

I teach at a sixth form college, subjects which were not often available when I was at school, and every open event I get lots of mums saying “I wish I could come and do this course”! Sometimes men do too but not nearly as often - and they’re way more likely to try and showboat about their own knowledge of the subject (like I give a damn) 🙄 or even to quiz me about it…! Never had a mum try and catch me out on my subject knowledge.

I've started doing indoor bouldering and there are lots of men there, I think generally speaking men are less keen on classroom type settings and get more involved in sports or outdoor activities. Having said that DH plays table top games and dungeons and dragons (ahhh outing MN husband hobbies.....) and that's predominantly men. I go to the gym, very mixed, DH goes to more exercise classes body pump, boot camp etc and there are more women, I also do aqua pilates 99% female.
I think it just depends which activities you are choosing.

Women are more social and maybe have less confidence to learn by themselves from YouTube etc. i guess I’m more “manly” (or away from average should i say) and prefer to do activities on my own. If i want to learn something I’ll look it up, i would dread going to a class.

ie small but significant sex differences that become bigger en masse

I think youre wrong. My brother has done tons of these random course - climbing, skiing, crew/boat training (incidentally he said that one was entirely made up of divorced men) - and I'm a woman who has done zero.

I've never thought of it as a female trait to do lots of random courses