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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Read the thread!

118 replies

Floatlikeafeather2 · 15/03/2025 09:56

AIBU to suggest there should be a law against people commenting on threads when they have not read beyond the OP? There is a very long thread currently running that is a prime example of this. It's a very divisive thread and, without exception, the people on one side are those who have not read the thread, and often even start off by saying "I have to admit I haven't read the whole thread but...." and their responses are mainly knee jerks, while the people on the other side have and their comments tend to be much more considered. If you can't be bothered to find out the facts, you're in no position to comment. You could, in fact, be doing harm.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 15/03/2025 12:01

I think unless it's for goady reasons one person's drip feed can be another person's evolving conversation.

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 15/03/2025 11:59

BatchCookBabe · 15/03/2025 11:23

Just read the OP's posts! Not that hard. Though whenever anyone suggests this, people come up with the excuse that they're on their phone, and the 'see all' function doesn't work for them. 🙄

Show quote history

I am on a phone, I've never used MN on a laptop and the "see all" function is definitely there for me. I use it on every thread lol

Startingoverandover · 15/03/2025 11:57

Here:

Read the thread!
FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 15/03/2025 11:57

Yeah, I always click "see all" on OP's posts and give them a read before commenting. It really doesn't take too long and would definitely sift out a lot of comments that just muddy the waters.

No one is asking people to read 800 general comments. Just the OP's posts.

OP can't always put every single detail in their first post. Sometimes they remember things or in cases of trauma or abuse they come to realisations whilst interacting with the thread.

I see MN as a conversation. It is interaction between the OP and the commenters... And people complain when OP disappears and doesn't answer questions anyway.

Startingoverandover · 15/03/2025 11:55

Those people who are saying they haven't time to read a whole thread - are they not aware of the 'see all' button on the first post of every thread? I can only assume they've missed it.

NotTerfNorCis · 15/03/2025 11:54

If there's a thread with 800 posts, no one is going to sit and read every single post before considering their reply. Especially if they want to rush in and answer the OP.

sometimesmovingforwards · 15/03/2025 11:51

No, there are often a lot of posts to read, and about 80% of it will be drivel.

Easier to just scan the OP, comment, and never look at the thread again.

FidosMum84 · 15/03/2025 11:49

I think I know the one you mean. I commented early on based on the OP. Then keep getting quoted by people with the opposite view because pretty important details were left out of the original post and only revealed later when the comments all disagreed with her.

RaraRachael · 15/03/2025 11:49

Oh right

MyUmberSeal · 15/03/2025 11:25

There is no elephant 🤣. The joke is that people have gone back to check the OP, and read it again to confirm they’ve not missed anything.

BatchCookBabe · 15/03/2025 11:25

RaraRachael · 15/03/2025 11:17

Still don't get the elephants reference 🤔

It was just comical irony. OP said people don't read peoples posts properly, and the poster in question mentioned elephants, because the OP never mentioned elephants. Illustrating that she didn't read the OP properly.

BatchCookBabe · 15/03/2025 11:23

RaraRachael · 15/03/2025 11:05

If I come upon a thread that already has 300+ comments, I don't have the time or the concentration to read every single post

Just read the OP's posts! Not that hard. Though whenever anyone suggests this, people come up with the excuse that they're on their phone, and the 'see all' function doesn't work for them. 🙄

Redpeach · 15/03/2025 11:22

Id love yo know what thread op is talking about

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 15/03/2025 11:21

You can change your settings so more posts are on one page. I have it set to ‘everything’ but I think the most you can do now is maybe 500 posts, so only two pages. Then click ‘see all OPs posts’ and it’s laid out very very clearly for you.

Redpeach · 15/03/2025 11:19

Are you the thread police?

GrandHighPoohbah · 15/03/2025 11:18

I think that once a thread goes over about 8 pages, there is not going to be much more of any use, it's all repetition really. But as PP have said, part of participating in a general online forum is that you get people who don't read, people who misunderstand, and people who think that them wading into a ten page thread with the most blindingly obvious comment is somehow revelatory.

RaraRachael · 15/03/2025 11:17

Still don't get the elephants reference 🤔

BatchCookBabe · 15/03/2025 11:12

MyUmberSeal · 15/03/2025 10:01

I get what you’re saying but I also think OP’s could be fully transparent and give all the detail in their first post, without drip feeding info every 15 or 20 posts later. Then people wouldn’t need to to sift through 23 pages and could respond to the original post.

This in spades. Drip feeds do my head in. When the situation is changing over the course of the day (or several days) then of course those are updates, but adding stuff that they didn't add in the first post is drip feeding.

Yet this past year or so, people have started calling them 'updates.' It's not a fecking update, if it's simply something you didn't mention in your first post!

All that said, people really should read all of the OP's posts before responding (especially if the thread has been going for more than 2-3 pages.)

BatchCookBabe · 15/03/2025 11:11

LaLoba · 15/03/2025 11:05

I had to re read the OP after the first reply, wondering how I’d missed the elephant and I’m still giggling at my own dopeyness.

Show quote history

😆 I did that too!

BatchCookBabe · 15/03/2025 11:11

araiwa · 15/03/2025 09:57

I have no idea why you think elephants will help the situation

😂 Daft.

But funny! 😆

LaLoba · 15/03/2025 11:05

Greenfinch7 · 15/03/2025 11:00

Sometimes people comment without even reading the OP.
Or they misunderstand some crucial and obvious point which was stated in the OP: 'Oh I didn't realise OP was married, or had the pet elephant, etc.'

I had to re read the OP after the first reply, wondering how I’d missed the elephant and I’m still giggling at my own dopeyness.

RaraRachael · 15/03/2025 11:05

If I come upon a thread that already has 300+ comments, I don't have the time or the concentration to read every single post

Greenfinch7 · 15/03/2025 11:00

Sometimes people comment without even reading the OP.
Or they misunderstand some crucial and obvious point which was stated in the OP: 'Oh I didn't realise OP was married, or had the pet elephant, etc.'

crossstitchingnana · 15/03/2025 10:57

When a thread has hundreds of posts, I have not got the time or patience to read all that.

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/03/2025 10:56

Meh…I know what you mean but honestly I sometimes work 12 hour days. I don’t have time to read several 18 page threads a day on top of my job and my family.

What are you going to do? Force people to provide thread ID?

Posters are pretty good at self policing and tend to call out dickish and ill informed posts. I would leave people to manage as they see fit.

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