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Original poster

Daughter is wearing inappropriate bikini on family holiday.

131 replies

romma · 14/03/2025 23:55

We are going on holiday to Cyprus and daughter has bought a bunch of thong style bikinis, she’s a teenager but how do I talk to her about it. As there will be extended family

OP posts:
InWalksBarberalla · 15/03/2025 02:24

Devianinc · 15/03/2025 02:17

But have you not been to the beach with old people flaunting their bodies, it’s quite a spectacle and I think they like you looking even though they don’t look great. What’s those tiny bathing suits men wear. I can’t remember what they call it. Banana hammock. I used to go to beach and this old lady used go there practically nude. It wasn’t artistic or anything like that but it was her thriving people really being
put off by it especially with the young kids. She would flounce and bop all over. It was obscene really.

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It's not obscene. It's just people being comfortable with their bodies. It's sad that you think it's obscene.

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:20

HomeworkMonitor · 14/03/2025 23:57

Suggest she holiday alone if she won't compromise and cancel her ticket

Your kids aren’t coming to you for Christmas when they’re adults. Telling you now so you can prepare.

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:20

POTC · 14/03/2025 23:57

If she's 19 it's her choice, you can't and shouldn't do anything. Are you going to walk around the pool or along the beach telling other people they're dressed inappropriately?

I wonder how OP copes with men being topless

JandamiHash · 15/03/2025 02:19

FGS OP she’s an adult it’s not your choice.

As for people advising you to throw them out - do you hate your children or something? Do you want them to be posting on MN in a few years about how controlling weird you are.

Let her flaunt her body while she’s young.

Devianinc · 15/03/2025 02:17

Sal17690 · 15/03/2025 01:49

So if her older relatives had amazing gym-fit bodies, it would be more acceptable for the 19 year old woman to wear a skimpy bikini?

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But have you not been to the beach with old people flaunting their bodies, it’s quite a spectacle and I think they like you looking even though they don’t look great. What’s those tiny bathing suits men wear. I can’t remember what they call it. Banana hammock. I used to go to beach and this old lady used go there practically nude. It wasn’t artistic or anything like that but it was her thriving people really being
put off by it especially with the young kids. She would flounce and bop all over. It was obscene really.

uggmum · 15/03/2025 02:00

i am at a resort in the Maldives right now and I am almost the only one not wearing a thong bikini. (My arse being too substantial)
my DD goes on holiday with us all the time and she only wears thong bikinis.
it doesn’t bother me at all

avignon1234 · 15/03/2025 01:52

romma · 15/03/2025 00:11

I’ve tried to say it like that. She’s saying she shouldn’t be made to cover up because there’s going to be male relatives there and that it’s their problem not hers if they are uncomfortable

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I agree with this. She is 19, not 13, and I think she can wear what she wants within a private family pool setting, unless there are clear indications that should not do so. In public, it is a no. I had a similar discussion with my 19 yo daughter when we went to Italy, and she insisted on wearing a tiny top showing cleavage and midriff, then moaned because men were looking at her. It was a bit "if this, then that" for me. Wear what you want, but don't expect not to have a reaction, especially in a place where the culture is different. If you don't like the reaction, then you need to re-think your choices.

LBFseBrom · 15/03/2025 01:50

She is a grown woman, you're fortunate she is going away on holiday with you and the family. Trust me, she will not be the only one with a thong on the beach, young women everywhere wear them and have done so for years. They also go topless though that is becoming less common because of fears of breast cancer. I don't like thongs, they look so uncomfortable, but I accept them. I expect most of your family will too. I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Sal17690 · 15/03/2025 01:49

user1492757084 · 15/03/2025 00:27

Insist that if she is wearing the thong bikinis on the beach that she is always discreet and covered up in the communal areas of the house and walking to and fro the beach. Ask her to pack dresses, sarongs, shorts etc. and one, one piece suit.

Tell her it is boastful to parade her young unclad body among the older, unfit relatives and that she needs to be polite and have utmost regard for her grandparents (who would see wearing such bikinis as being naked.)

Spell it out. You, and/or her Dad, wear one of her bikinis around the house for a few minutes and ask her whether she can now see how many people would feel uncomfortable. Take photo of Dad from behind and send to her phone!

So if her older relatives had amazing gym-fit bodies, it would be more acceptable for the 19 year old woman to wear a skimpy bikini?

Yellowhammer09 · 15/03/2025 01:45

BlondiePortz · 15/03/2025 01:41

I don't know where to begin with that one

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You can't say it's not true 🤷🏼‍♀️

BlondiePortz · 15/03/2025 01:41

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I don't know where to begin with that one

Hortus · 15/03/2025 01:40

I'm old and absolutely hate the look of thong bikinis. It's totally unnecessary to have your arse cheeks hanging out, it's a horrible look, not flattering to anyone. On the beach last summer with my grandchild who asked me "why are those girls wearing no bikini bottoms", when I looked a group of teenagers were playing with a beach ball with t shirts and thong bikinis on, literally did look like they have nothing on their bottom half.

I think with extended family thong bikinis are inappropriate. Your daughter needs to be more mature and realise that in certain circumstances certain clothing is appropriate. There are plenty of lovely bum-covering bikinis which would stop other family members feeling uncomfortable. I'm surprised she wants to wear one in front of extended family, is she a bit of a show off? Presumably she wouldn't go topless in front of them, so why does she want them to be able to see her bare buttocks?

InWalksBarberalla · 15/03/2025 01:40

Devianinc · 15/03/2025 01:33

Just ask her to kindly cover her bum when she’s walking amongst the elders and tell the old geezers to keep their eyes off of her. It’s really just a body and if it’s a good body, good for her. I wish I could wear that that but I think my 68 body would cause offense. lol. Yuck

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Or she can wear what she wants and tell the elders to keep their eyes on all the other women and teens in their g-string bikinis if they want to perve.

InWalksBarberalla · 15/03/2025 01:39

I really can't see the issue. She's 19 and will be wearing the sane as the majority of other women on the beach.

Devianinc · 15/03/2025 01:33

romma · 14/03/2025 23:57

I have done so. But don’t want to make it seem like she should be ashamed

Just ask her to kindly cover her bum when she’s walking amongst the elders and tell the old geezers to keep their eyes off of her. It’s really just a body and if it’s a good body, good for her. I wish I could wear that that but I think my 68 body would cause offense. lol. Yuck

Emonade · 15/03/2025 01:03

romma · 15/03/2025 00:09

I don’t get it honestly. She’s like I want to work on my tan, there’s nothing wrong with the bikinis I have bought. Typical teenager

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You’re overly sexualising her, it’s a bit of bum she should be able to wear them it’s their and your problem if you’re bothered

PollyCreo · 15/03/2025 00:57

PollyCreo · 15/03/2025 00:49

Incels and pervs....there's a poem in there somewhere?

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Oh my mother Danielle
You made my life hell
I thought you had my heart
But you ripped it apart
You preferred the puss
My secret name is Oedipus

Any good?

YourPithyHazelLion · 15/03/2025 00:56

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BigHeadBertha · 15/03/2025 00:49

To me, my kids' age is a consideration only, not the final word. For example, regardless of age, my house/my rules applies, though I do apply it lightly because I like to be nice. In my opinion, trips work the same way. I assume you are paying. Therefore, she is a guest and it's your trip/your rules. Good luck with it.

PollyCreo · 15/03/2025 00:49

BoldRed · 15/03/2025 00:45

Oh look

Incels and pervs....there's a poem in there somewhere?

BoldRed · 15/03/2025 00:45

Oh look

comedy central pervert GIF by The Other Two
YourPithyHazelLion · 15/03/2025 00:43

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CalleOcho · 15/03/2025 00:42

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FFS I should have known 😂

PollyCreo · 15/03/2025 00:41

🧐

Nft Lol GIF by HPPRS
YourPithyHazelLion · 15/03/2025 00:40

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