Daughter is wearing inappropriate bikini on family holiday.

I don't think it's really about male relatives. Isn't it also a bit "granny doesn't want to see your bum"

I certainly wouldn’t be happy and it will really embarrass the relatives but what can you do if she won’t listen?

It's not the aesthetic issue I'd have problems with. Our bums rarely see the sun so are more likely to burn, even with high factor so I'd suggest she takes some fuller coverage ones in case she over does it. Speaking from experience here.

You can provide guidance to your daughter at any age

Turning this around, would your 19 year old daughter feel comfortable if her male relatives wore thong speedos? I expect not. And not because she’d be ogling, but because it would be unusual and therefore eye catching.

There are boundaries with family when it comes to nudity. Separately, women are rightly very aware of not shaming girls and young women about their bodies and what they wear, which is all getting mixed into this situation.

Your daughter can choose what she wears. But nudity being inappropriate with family is a fact of life. So it will probably be uncomfortable for everyone, including her. But that is her choice.

Extended family aren’t wrong to feel uncomfortable. Your daughter isn’t wrong to choose to wear what she wants, she is prioritising her wants above social norms, as that appears to be her value system.

I don’t think it’s a choice of one side of the debate being correct, both sides views on this are valid.

When I was your daughter’s age, I would have had the same attitude as her. Now in my 30s, I would prioritise social norms, because my values have changed.

God we bang on about girls worrying about their looks and how much shame there is around how they look then tell them they can’t wear something that’s very ‘in’ because <checks notes> some random man might not like it.

Grow up

Grandad and uncle Mike are probably in favour of young women in revealing bikinis. I don't think they will be complaining. If women in the family complain it's because they know this.

What male is uncomfortable looking at a 19 year old in a thong? This is very naive!

Its about norms. The clothes discussed on the gym thread are normal in the environment. A lot of families wouldn't think thong bikinis were the norm in front of them. Its like the way a dress suitable for clubbing would be inappropriate in the office. It's not the garment, it's the situation.

Ashamed of what exactly? Wearing appropriate clothing for the situation and company is a matter of etiquette and consideration. Covering up your arse in front of your grandad isn't being ashamed of it, it's knowing who really doesn't need or want to see it.

It is interesting that the majority of opinions on this thread are ‘she should cover up to avoid offending others’ whereas in yet another recent thread about young women wearing skimpy clothing in the gym, the majority opinion was ‘skimpy gym clothes are not sexual and anyone who thinks otherwise is uptight or a perv’.

It is none of your business what your adult daughter chooses to wear.

It is none of Grandad or Uncle Mike's business what your adult daughter chooses to wear.

It's a beach holiday. She is not dressing inappropriately wearing beach wear on the beach or round the pool.

Yes, indeed - very familiar

Honestly at 19 she can wear what she wants.

Also it’s a beach holiday so assume most people will be showing flesh to a greater or lesser degree (we’re talking a few extra inches of flesh). Unless the rest of you are planning on wearing clothes around the pool?

Im shocked you would try to dictate what an adult woman wears.

Reported.

So familiar!

I'm 100% behind her.

I hope my daughter knows I have her back.

If you are paying for the holiday and keep on at her, you are pushing the narrative that someone paying her way has a say over her bodily autonomy. Thats not the message I want my daughter to have as she approaches starting her own relationships.

Why can't the male relatives look away? I notice you haven't mentioned female relatives being uncomfortable. Is that because women aren't potential going to be eyeing up their own flesh and blood?

Why do you really think your daughter should cover up? Because you think her relatives will get turned on? That's fucking disgusting. It's not what you're saying but deep down it's your worry. Whynis your daughter required to adjust her behaviour to apologise for men.

Only if they shave her head and take her to the town square shouting "Jezebel!".

It sounds like a you problem. She is 19!

Parents who throw their kids clothes away are abusive.

Suggest that the whole family just go nude. Problem solved.

She is absolutely right. If they don’t like it then they can look the other way.

….also go NC, cut her out of the will and curse her offspring unto the seventh generation.

I think we can all agree that’s proportionate to the issue.

Is it "flaunting her body"?

Another teen daughter in a thong bikini thread. At least this one is 19, it's usually 14/15.
What are the usual replies? Get her to cover up, ot leave her alone. Although on one thread the mum actually bought her teen daughter more modest beach wear!

and?