If you're single, how many people have a relationship you are genuinely envious of?

I think if you listen to mn most relationships are crap or if you’re looking for one you’ll see a lot that is crap, in reality a relationship is good and bad, huge highs and huge lows with very little to do with looks and the things people seem is necessary for a relationship to work. The amount of people who say they couldn’t tolerate tiny tiny things in relationships is mind blowing, nobody can find someone who ticks every box they’ve ever laid out! What some see as settling others experience as a very good deal where two people are there for each other, share their day’s crap and have a laugh, have someone they’re comfortable with. But then you’ll have someone say ‘I couldn’t live with someone that messy’ for example.

It's great that you're happy being single. Good for you.

As I'm happily married, would you like to know how many single people I know whose life I envy?

No matter how hard I think I can't think of a single one that I would be envious of or wish I had. All my friends husband's are faulty to a degree that I wouldn't be OK with. Mine was too so I left, but hung in there far too long hoping he would change. I have been single now for 3 years and it's been the best three years I've had for decades.

Miss Dumpy little thing sounds like she’s got it all

I can think of lots and lots. But I’m married and in a happy relationship and I think couples like that tend to gravitate toward each other and socialise with kids together. As pp said family is very important so we don’t really do much as a couple with single people (who don’t tend to want to socialise the same way). With our single friends (with no kids) we tend to see them separately with one of us looking after kids and one going, so we can go somewhere/do something they want to do.
So not much opportunity for single friends to analyse our relationship!

I can think of 5. They're mutually respectful and loving, they've each got their independence and it's an even power balance. They're each choosing to be in the relationship.

It's interesting to notice how they do this, in preparation for hopefully having a healthy relationship myself in the future!

I also notice how many relationships seem dysfunctional and where people are settling for whatever reason.

There was one couple that I knew, not well but they seemed to have it sorted. He was a lovely man from the outside, they just seemed like really good friends, a proper team. Found out recently they’ve split, so none!

It’s like having kids.

I don’t want either the good bits or the bad bits. It’s simply not for me.

This

Noone would know what our relationship is like, because we don't share about it on social media. And we're very private so don't discuss any issues we might be having with friends. We've got a great relationship, but other than the fact we always hold hands when we're out and about, I don't think there's much to go on.

Clearly the relationships don't look perfect from the outside if you think their husbands are controlling, narcissistic arseholes.

I think people overestimate how enviable their relationships appear to others. You might be surprised to know what people really think of your relationship.

Was going to say the same.

You rarely really know what’s going on in a relationship. The relationship you admire may be abusive. The one where you think “hmm I wouldn’t want that” may be blissfully happy (you may still not want it, but it may not be a “bad” relationship).

I do know lots of very happy couples who have been married a long time. I'm not sure what the magic is. Love, obviously, tolerance, joint hobbies for some, but these people like and respect each other.
Someone to go out for meals together, to the theatre or whatever, to enjoy the same things and laugh about experiences. These couples do that and I'd like to do the same, with a future as secure as it can be,

None, I love being single.

Dumpy little thing.. glad I’m not your friend

Just one - my friend of 50 years has been married for around 45 years to a great guy. He's been a solid all-round good egg with an easy-going nature so I envy her wise choice all those years ago!

At my age, 70, some of my friends and associates are widowed and a few of them had what seemed liked good relationships. And a few friends are just stuck with an old curmudgeon.

I have a normal loving relationship with my husband. I have a close group of female friends and we tend to sound off about any issues we are having in a WhatsApp group. I stay very quiet about my husband because the others are constantly telling me things their partners have done that are just completely unacceptable- if my husband did them I’d be completely shocked and I absolutely wouldn’t put up with them. I’ve wracked my brains to think of things they maybe wouldn’t accept from my husband but have concluded I’m one of the lucky ones.

I'm not envious of anyone's relationship. It's not particularly healthy to think like that.

On the other hand. I'm envious of the cat, who has no cares in the world other than will she get fed when she irritates her slave, finds happiness is racing around the flat playing with a rug, and can then spend the snoozing on the bed in the sun. Now that is a life to be envious of!

Only one, but he died and my friend was bereft, still is after five years. They met at school. They were a real team.

Dumpy little thing?

Yeah, I can see why you’re single.