Is it unreasonable to bribe my son to watch the show ' adolescence '

it sounds like this boy has been failed in a catastrophic way.

Yes it sounds like he is in some kind of bespoke arrangement, likely unregistered with Ofsted because they simply cannot find something else, those arrangements are what are put in place in those cases quite often

He should be at home, children like this are not helped by the care system

You sound like you think it’s ok to say awful things to him because you “take responsibility and apologise” afterwards. You’re the parent, you should be thinking before speaking because if you keep saying these things (eg about his sexuality) he will know that’s how you really feel and your apology is therefore worthless.

if he’s watched Tate and the like previously and there’s concerns about his levels of misogyny, has anyone ever referred him to Prevent?

You are the adult stop blaming him for everything.
Maybe you should watch some thing's to see how being homophobic has had a negative impact on your son.
My child told me she was bi and we had a lovely chat about it and that was that . Full praise and support. Especially for feeling she could discuss it with me .
Saying sorry but then still brining it up in a negative manner when having arguments with him just shows you are not sorry about your reaction. You have to take some responsibility for his behaviour and not just blame online idiots.

This.

There was victim blaming and she was all but forgotten. No telling of the pain and grief from her side.

It was a wasted opportunity. Women don't matter again.

Poor boy. It sounds as though all the adults in his family have let him down and/or behaved abusively. He needs support and understanding, as well as professional help for his OCD and possibly other mental health issues or neurodiversity. I can't imagine why you think a TV series would help him in any significant way. 🙄

This is really sad to read. Please stop using his sexuality against him, he sounds full of self hatred. Would you use his disability against him if he had one, would you use his race against him? His own parent doesn't accept him, that's only going to add to his anger and hurt.

Well he's only 16 and he isnt living with either of his parents - Yes hes got a roof but to be living on his own with carers at 16 is pretty dire.

Please stop looking for reasons, or that you didn’t provide “males” to provide role model.

like in the fictional movie … it was not the dads fault
it’s fiction

There is more than lack of male role models going on with your son. He’s at an age where I’m not sure Camhs will tell you anything or at least not everything. You need to understand that becoming independent from mum, is the stage he is in. At 18, you are not involved at all.

As in the movie “adolescence” is a really challenging time for many, esp with MH. Experience in my family one young man didn’t “calm down” til in early 20s. From age 15 he was not in control of anger & had rages. Social care did not help at all, Camhs was saying cbt but didn’t provide professional support.

it’s just a movie … for entertainment …

What?

no it’s not a fake post it’s an observation

I hope so. A child was suffering from depression, tried to go to his mother about his sexuality and was yelled at, now banned from the home by the only parent in his life by just 16 years old. That sounds like poor parenting on a gargantuan scale. Poor boy. I'd never forgive my mother either for failing so badly. Jumping to manipulate a child with a speck of attention when they're begging for it. The shame! 🤢

Fake post?

OP, this still doesn't make sense. A proper NICE approved ASD assessment will say yes or no. If it was some random CAMHS person who did a quick assessment, this isn't ok by them.

I am very familiar with conduct disorder. I've been researching this alot. It can co exist with Autism. Not your fault.

Has he been assessed ref the conduct disorder? If this is going on, you really have to make sure you are safe emotionally and physically.

I wouldn't want him in the home tbh without knowing exactly what is going on here and help available long term.

Is he medicated for his mood?

Don't apologise for what you've already apologised for. Just definitely best to leave the religious stuff out of it. Saying ' I made a mistake, I'm sorry ' that's enough. You need to be careful you aren't manipulated if he has conduct disorder.

If he's Autistic, which sounds like he may be, he's going to be vulnerable to stuff online like Tate. You can only make him understand consequences of that. For example - you want a decent girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Those views will attract people who are dark in character and harmful.

I'd also have boundaries which included use of certain words or language ref women will not be accepted or tolerated by you. If he does, you will cut the conversation completely.

MN seems to be advertising this show very heavily

So through the particular bits of your faith/religion you pick and choose, you raised him to hate who he is. Because there are LGBTQ+ Muslims, Christians, Jews, Sikh etc - whether you like it or not.

I hope he gets help for both his homelessness (because it sounds like you made him homeless) and therapeutic reasons.
E.g. from a charity like AKT
https://www.akt.org.uk/mission-vision/

Or LGBT foundation
https://lgbt.foundation/talkingtherapies

Or Switchboard
https://switchboard.lgbt/

OP, this is confusing. He has carer support but you say no disabilities. SServices don't fund that for nothing.

I have to watch this show - personally however, you're knocking on the wrong door.

Are you heavily religious? I'd find it very difficult if any parent tried suggest my sexuality was a sin and I would feel such anger if I'd been forced into faith based counselling.

Are you able to leave your faith completely out of his life and every conversation for a start?

My senses are going off again. Has he been assessed as being ND?

And no, it's not because I feel Autistic people are misogynist; there are a few flags here that make me think this.

I haven’t see the programme. But your son sounds like he is really struggling. Is the equivalent of “rubbing his nose in it” going to be helpful?

I’m dubious frankly. Not sure this will have the effect you are looking for.

Agree may not be messaging for kids that you expect … especially last episode - was really the parents struggle (strangely less for the unemotional sister {with posh accent} ), think parents struggle would be lost on a teen. Parents seemed to not have depth, and live a working class cliche.

Film messaging serms to be pointing out how “lost & clueless the adults are”

Episode with psych was intense. But again I think teens would just think “Jamie is a nutter”

Just don’t think this would be effective message to a teen … I have several but just don’t think so.

Victim very very “lost” and not present af all. We don’t get any view of her, not much flattering anyway. She wasn’t so much bullying, as reacting to boys treating her badly after she trusted wrong person. The Jamie being bullied didn’t ring true … he wasn’t bullied as hard as detectives son.

The murder horrific and pointless.

It's not up to you what he watches.

Do you often feel like you should be making these decisions in his life? To the point you start considering ways to manipulate him into agreeing with you?

You yelled at him for being bi? And you’re now trying to force him to watch something by bribing him with your attention? Think you need to take a bit of a look at your parenting of him OP.