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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think siblings should share bedrooms?

90 replies

dontgocrying · 14/03/2025 20:55

Have friends and their children coming to stay with us over Easter, our oldest dc haven’t seen each other for years so don’t know really know each other, youngest ones have never met.

I assumed siblings would share bedrooms and they assumed that girls and boys would share.

AIBU to think siblings should go into together for a couple of days even if boy/girl than to expect children to share with basic strangers just because their the same sex?

OP posts:
Onedancewontdo · 14/03/2025 21:45

I come from a very large family. 14 aunts and uncles on my dad’s side and 11 on my mums. And 2 of my dad’s siblings married to 2 of my mums. When we got together for family gatherings our parents would wait and see who we got on with and if we didn’t click with any of the cousins it was siblings together but at least we felt we had a choice

Creamsnackered · 14/03/2025 21:42

I wouldn't particularly want to share a room with people I don't know so wouldn't expect my children to, especially when the easy solution is to let siblings share.

CherryPopPp · 14/03/2025 21:40

If keep my kids together personally

Breakitdownplease · 14/03/2025 21:38

Disagree the sexes are in any way relevant. The kids don't know each other. They'll all be more comfortable with their own siblings I would imagine. Siblings of opposite sexes often have to share on holiday, it's no different, these kids are on holiday so they share sleeping space.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/03/2025 21:37

also if my DD wants to get changed she just orders the boys out onto the landing.

Original poster
dontgocrying · 14/03/2025 21:36

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/03/2025 21:08

Is the 13yo yours or your friend's? I'm really surprised if you would expect your own teenage dc to share with dc of the opposite sex.

But the big age gaps could be difficult too. Are there no other options? Airbeds in the living room for some?

Edited

I have 13 year old dd who would prefer to share with 11 year old ds, they have done this before on holidays. They would change separately.

Its more the idea dd would feel awkward and not know what to say if she shared with with their preteen girl.

OP posts:
Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/03/2025 21:36

agree 3 year old with parents, then siblings share.
my 3 will happily share together, 2 m 1 f, all in their 20's, will all still bundle in together and share a big bed if needed.
though obviously not if a boy/girlfriend tags along 😂

GrazeConcern · 14/03/2025 21:34

Although in general I would say siblings of mixed sex with large age gaps shouldn’t share, I’d say for 2-3 nights for this sort of thing it would be better than mixing in with unknown children. I mean if the age gap is that big. -say 3 YO boy with 12 Yo girl the girl will just sneak in much later once brother asleep anyway.

ExIssues · 14/03/2025 21:29

I'd put the 3 year old with parents probably and then siblings together... But it does depend. If there are 2 girls aged 13 and 2 boys aged 8 say, it would make more sense to put the same sex kids in 1 room.

Candledrip · 14/03/2025 21:29

WhatsTheMatterDavid · 14/03/2025 21:13

I'd keep the mixed sex siblings together in your position. If I had cause for concern re SA then we'd be in a crisis anyways and wouldn't be inviting friends over.

I couldn’t agree more with this post

CalleOcho · 14/03/2025 21:28

dontgocrying · 14/03/2025 21:00

8 kids between us. youngest is 3, oldest is 13

Female siblings share.

Male siblings share.

If not enough room then point your guests in the direction of nearest hotel/B&B.

Candledrip · 14/03/2025 21:27

I would never put my children to sleep with children unfamiliar to them. You don’t know these children or their characters. I would keep my children safely together

cardibach · 14/03/2025 21:24

Pineapplewaves · 14/03/2025 21:01

I wouldn’t expect my children to give up their bedrooms for my friends. Friends should find a hotel or a B&B. It sounds like you have older DC, what do they think about sharing/giving up their personal spaces?

Really? It’s totally normal to shift around sleeping accommodation to make room for visiting friends.

Commonsense22 · 14/03/2025 21:22

Sharing with children of the same sex was basic hospitality when I grew up and I must admit I would expect it too. What a world if we teach our kids they shouldn't be "put out" just for a couple of nights to welcome family friends!

That said we live in a dreadful world and sharing with children of the sane sex doesn't protect automatically from SA so I'd understand someone being fearful for those reasons.

But as a general rule IMO it is a bit frightening if we're teaching our kids not to inconvenience themselves or do things unless there is something in it for them.

Pompompuri · 14/03/2025 21:18

.

Dueanamechange2025 · 14/03/2025 21:15

I still think we need to know all the ages and sex’s to make a decision.

My kids have a 6 year age gap and different sex, I think they would rather share with friends kids of same age / sex then each other but then I’m not sure id ask them to do either.

TickingAlongNicely · 14/03/2025 21:15

This is really going to depend on ages and sexes as well as who is a sibling. I wouldn't expect a unrelated teen and toddler to share regardless of sex for example.

PenelopeSkye · 14/03/2025 21:14

I wouldn’t expect any of my children (currently 8, 6 and 4) to sleep with other children if they didn’t know them or didn’t want to. But then I never got the excitement of sleepovers even as a child, I loved my own bed in my own bedroom!

WhatsTheMatterDavid · 14/03/2025 21:13

I'd keep the mixed sex siblings together in your position. If I had cause for concern re SA then we'd be in a crisis anyways and wouldn't be inviting friends over.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/03/2025 21:12

Creamsnackered · 14/03/2025 21:11

Their own siblings? I (f) used to share with my brother on holiday until when we were teens. We'd just change in the bathroom. I think that's much less weird than sharing with people you don't know, potentially with a wide spread of ages, just because you're all girls or all boys.

Show quote history

Yes, with their own siblings. Not a problem at all for them to share when they're little, but I think a lot of kids would hate it when going through puberty!

Gustavo1 · 14/03/2025 21:11

Depends on house size and available rooms. Unless the children are actually friends and want a sleep over in their rooms (age and sex dependant), I would have either the visiting family together in one room or the visiting children in one and adults in another.

Creamsnackered · 14/03/2025 21:11

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/03/2025 21:08

Is the 13yo yours or your friend's? I'm really surprised if you would expect your own teenage dc to share with dc of the opposite sex.

But the big age gaps could be difficult too. Are there no other options? Airbeds in the living room for some?

Edited

Their own siblings? I (f) used to share with my brother on holiday until when we were teens. We'd just change in the bathroom. I think that's much less weird than sharing with people you don't know, potentially with a wide spread of ages, just because you're all girls or all boys.

MrsSunshine2b · 14/03/2025 21:10

I'd guess that if you've offered to host them and they are all tweens or older, you'd put the girls together and the boys together.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 14/03/2025 21:08

Is the 13yo yours or your friend's? I'm really surprised if you would expect your own teenage dc to share with dc of the opposite sex.

But the big age gaps could be difficult too. Are there no other options? Airbeds in the living room for some?

Original poster
dontgocrying · 14/03/2025 21:07

My kids were excited for them to come based on the idea that they would be sharing with siblings to make room. Based on their assumption their kids were probably happy to come and share with our children of the same sex

OP posts:
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