To think siblings should share bedrooms?

When we did this the kids shared by sex but all had the option to sleep with their own parents if they preferred. Kids were strangers in the morning and besties by bedtime and had lovely sleepovers.

I think your plan is reasonable but it's also reasonable to have the four oldest children sharing by sex. We've never had friends over when the kids don't know each other but our mixed sex kids have all shared and we've split by sex previously (with similar age kids they know well).

We also have a 5 bedroom house. One of our reception rooms has huge sofas that could sleep 2 (honestly 3) comfortably too. If worst came to worst, me and my husband would just sleep on them.

I don’t think I’d plan in too much detail beyond ensuring my daughter knows there’s no expectation for her to share a room with anyone she doesn’t want to (same if I had a son).

Honestly, I would keep it fluid and see how they get on together when they arrive. Odds are at least some of the kids would be thick as thieves and wanting a sleepover within about 20 minutes anyway.

In your position, I would ensure your elder ones keep their rooms as private spaces unless they want to invite someone to share them, but expect to bunk the younger ones in with us if needed.

It’s totally normal to shift around sleeping accommodation to make room for visiting friends.

This! We have 5 bedrooms but had a houseful once and had both dd & DS on airbeds on our bedroom floor with visitors in all the bedrooms. As a kid we always had to shuffle to free up a bedroom any time we had visitors. The idea of making people pay for a hotel because no one can make do for a night seems ludicrous to me.

I would probably default to the same as you, but they are with friends and their kids are a bit younger, so no biggie that they assumed different. The main thing is you are talking about it.

I imagine some families will be stricter about having different sexes sharing even if siblings. I would not challenge that because the reasons behind it might be awful. But ofc that doesn't mean putting your child in a position they are uncomfortable with.

I wonder how it works on French exchanges etc these days. Does the visiting child need to have their own room or are some of them expected to share with the host child?

So you have a 5 bedroom house and are able to offer them 3 of those rooms for themselves and 4 children of which they are 2G and 2 B? Why is there any issue, they can divide their own kids up by age or boy/girl as they choose, Why would any of them need to share with yours at all?

See i would have assumed 13 & 12 year old girls in together, and 11 & 9 year old boys together.....

Last time we had friends kids over DD (5) hadn't seen their DD (4) since she was a baby but they were thick as thieves in about 1 hour!

When my kids cousins come thats how it works. 12 yo D nephew happily shares with my 8 yo DS, 9yo niece shares with my 5 yo DD. They actively specified this was what they wanted.

I would set out that the first night their dc share with each other and your older ones share with each other but be flexible that if both your older dc decide on subsequent nights they would like to share with equivalent child in other family they can do. It is then up to the other family how they split up their children. They could either divide their children by age or sex.

I had similar with a foc sa.

I have 13 year old dd who would prefer to share with 11 year old ds, they have done this before on holidays. They would change separately.
This is perfectly fine. My DD's and DS would feel the same.

It really depends on how well you know them , the space you have and the age/gender split. We always put all girls in one room and all boys in another but we haven’t done it with kids we don’t know fairly well. My 14 year old DD would much rather share with an 11 year old DD than her 8 year old brother!

As a kid/teenager I would much rather have shared with my brothers than my mums mates kids I didn’t know!

what do you kids want to do?

How old are their kids? Are they assuming the girls are close in age and would want to share etc?

Definitely would keep siblings together when there is a spread of ages.

This.

When you say share what do you mean? Are you planning to put an extra bed or do you expect them to sleep together in the same bed?

So number of rooms and ages of all kids and who is siblings

Thinking further, I would put it to your friends as "Bedroom wise we have these two rooms and you have those two rooms" and let them sort it out themselves. Dont make their assumptions your problem to solve.

We visited family and friends and siblings never shared , boys in one room , girls in another, same every time.

I'd expect the siblings to share. I understand some people are concerned about SA with opposite sex siblings but this is very rare and SA doesn't only occur with people of the opposite sex. I'd feel more comfortable about my opposite sex DC sharing than them sharing with same sex children who are practically strangers.

Would rather the siblings shared. YANBU

So you tell them your kids are sharing with each other and if that doesn’t work for them they can book elsewhere.

How many children each? What is the breakdown between you and your friends - number of kids, girls/boys.

Surely different sex siblings can share can’t they? I used to share with my brother when we went to see our dad and he only had the one extra bedroom. There were bunk beds and (of course) we always fought over who got the top bunk 😂 There’s a 4 year age gap between us.