AIBU to think lots on MS have an agenda and judge people with bias?

You are being unreasonable if you don’t realise that is what life is like in general. We are all biased.

I’m really surprised people always think this. I find mumsnet to be a really basic site, in terms of intelligence and learning.

In so many forums you would be expected to provide evidence for your statements, meaty reading to share with the group etc. I think Reddit is far smarter than mumsnet in that respect- I also find tattle to be far better at current affairs, I learn far more deeply from there than the surface lite conversations posted on MN.

It’s not related to the mean standard for reading and comprehension (and god if you pull out that average reading age of a 7 year old myth I will curl up in a corner) it’s knowledge, diversity of experience, application of knowledge and common sense.

to be fair, aspirational wannabe middle class woman are exactly the type who quite commonly think they’re far smarter than they are

Mum Snet

While it's true that there are indeed a lot of dimbulbs in the UK, the average ability to communicate in the written form on this site is higher than on most comment sections on other social media sites, overall. A quick glance at Reddit or Facebook or Tumblr or Twitter etc shows that clearly.

And that is because nearly all mumsnetters represent a small, privileged section of society, the champagne socialist type of terribly concerned about luvvie, the woman who lives in a bubble with her other luxury belief class buddies.

There is very little representation of or understanding of the actual working class of the UK on this site, and almost nobody from the upper classes would bother with this place.

It's luxury belief aspirational middle classes all the way down.

I think everyone assumes the person they’re talking to is in the same position and headspace they are. It’s horrible to think that someone a bit more vulnerable might give up what they have because someone who had something similar judges their situation to be the same. And mn definitely isn’t the same space it was ten years ago but then people in general in public aren’t the same either, there’s shorter fuses, less conversation, less patience etc.

I Just tend to think overall it gives the impression of not being a very bright/ clever/ smart forum and that’s where the weird advice and comments come from.

That's because it attracts people from a broad cross section of society and a lot of people just aren't very bright.

The mean standard of literacy and reading comprehension is very low, but conversely there are some very intelligent and knowledgeable people who post on various threads.

Again that's just society in general. The average reading age.of the country is around 9.

Broadly, 2/3 of the population will fall within the 'normal' range of intelligence, which actually isn't very bright. Broadly 1/3 will be above that and 1/3 will be below. This will be reflected in the comments, views and opinions of people who post.

There are a lot of people who aren't able to understand nuance, a lot who won't be able to understand complex sentences, a lot who aren't able to make inferences and a lot who aren't able to think critically etc as well as those who are. And all levels of intelligence etc will be represented here as they are in society generally. I'm not sure why anyone would think otherwise.

Everyone, every single last human on the earth, is biased and judgemental. We all use our judgement at all times to decide if a situation is safe or unsafe, acceptable or unacceptable. You are judging those people for judging, as is your right.

Middle class aspirational women tend to be quite vicious because they have been forced to repress their anger. Anger is normal and human, but these women cannot express it cleanly because they fear that will harm their social standing, their natural anger impulses have been subverted since childhood, because nice little aspirational middle class girls can't just tell someone to fuck off. So they try to hide their rage behind trolling other women, slurs and hatefulness.

They often manifest their unhappiness by attacking other women, which is far safer than attacking men generally.

Men online tend to offer violent and sexual threats, women are more sly because they have been taught to be.

This site is full of Dolores Umbridges. We need a block button. But that would not work well for the Bread and Circuses which is the entire point of this place.

To be fair: reading comprehension on most similar type forums are equally poor. People rush to reply (just like at school) before having understood the salient points.

MN is fab. If you don't like the advice you get, then ignore.

Personally I think 9 times out of 10 the relationship advice is spot on.

It's not easy when you've let seemingly "little" things slide, then you wake up one day to gradually realise that this relationship is not good for you.

What's MS?

The mean standard of literacy and reading comprehension is very low, but conversely there are some very intelligent and knowledgeable people who post on various threads.

Posting here is for perspectives. You don't have to agree with them or follow the advice. Everyone still has to think for themselves.

Those kind of threads always amuse me.

OP: AIBU for some extremely unreasonable behaviour.
MN: Fuck yes.
OP: Jesus, this place is awful and you are all bitches. I thought this would be a good place to come and get some support but it's full of bitter old sticks. Hope you are all happy that you have managed to drive me away.

OP, approx 4 posts later: Still hate it here and still think you are all awful.

Well, maybe you’re wrong about what constitutes a good marriage? Lots of people have an incredibly low bar.

If they do that's their problem.

Meanie.

Of course, I am also a meanie.

AIBU is feral. If you want more specific and reasoned advice, then post in a more targeted part of the site.

I Just tend to think overall it gives the impression of not being a very bright/ clever/ smart forum and that’s where the weird advice and comments come from.

Of course there are absolute pockets of interests and intelligence but overall that’s not really the vibe MN gives off

Well how on earth do expect people to reply then?

Yes, which is bizarre as outside of Mumsnet people are completely neutral and all advice given is objective.

If a randomer on an internet chat forum can 'make a couple separate', they really shouldn't have been part of a couple to begin with.

The majority of adults are mature enough to take responsibility for their own actions, no matter what sort of advice they receive.

They can take it or leave it.