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Original poster

To have deleted my enormous to do list

41 replies

BusyCM · 14/03/2025 19:32

Being self employed my work life and home life is constantly entwined and my to do list was getting longer and longer.

I can get a bit obsessed with lists and plans and really beat myself up if I dont stick to them.

I've got really wound up this week because it was so ridiculously long that I was considering cancelling a meal out with my parents this weekend, we don't see them often but I felt really overwhelmed and behind.

Dh asked me to read out what was on my list and kindly pointed out that none of it was important, the world wouldn't end if I didn't 'Make a photobook' or 'deep clean the dining room'.

So I've deleted the whole list.

It's temporary and I'll start a new one for sure but I suddenly don't feel anxious or behind, I just feel still and present.

Some of it was semi important, but nothing will get forgotten I'm sure. I have to trust my own organisation skills and brain that I have things under control.

Am I super weird?

OP posts:
mumofoneAlonebutokay · 14/03/2025 20:11

That's some good husbanding right there, op

Yanbu to do it - i myself for that all the time 🤭🤭🤭

Barney16 · 14/03/2025 20:11

On any list I write I put on one thing that I have already done. Then I ceremoniously tick it off. Somehow it's massively motivating and I then work my way through the rest. Works for me.

Original poster
BusyCM · 14/03/2025 20:10

Actually some really good suggestions here! The Do it now or forget about it is similar to another rule I have about housework, if it takes 60 secs or less, do it now.

If I spent the time I spend writing and organising my lists, I'd get a lot more done!

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 14/03/2025 19:59

Just do a Things I Have Done list instead. I love lists and there are more things on the done list than ticked off the to do list.

Wanderdust · 14/03/2025 19:57

Catza · 14/03/2025 19:56

Try Eisenhower matrix instead. It has a whole box for tasks which you can immediately delete or delegate to others. Although, it does take a while to admit to yourself that 90% of tasks on your list don't require your "specific skillset".

Yes this, is the Ike app! :)

ZippyPeer · 14/03/2025 19:57

Worth reading Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burke man, gives a different perspective on how to think of your to do list and managing your time

PassOnThat · 14/03/2025 19:57

I read a good piece of advice on here the other day. It was that, if you think of something you need to do, either do it immediately or forget about it without giving it headspace. If it's important enough, someone will follow up or it will reoccur to you later when you're better able to deal with it. But don't waste mental energy thinking about what you should do, either do it or mentally dismiss it.

Catza · 14/03/2025 19:56

Try Eisenhower matrix instead. It has a whole box for tasks which you can immediately delete or delegate to others. Although, it does take a while to admit to yourself that 90% of tasks on your list don't require your "specific skillset".

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/03/2025 19:55

A bullet journal might help you prioritize.

Wanderdust · 14/03/2025 19:53

Createausername1970 · 14/03/2025 19:46

I like a list, but you have to control it, not let it control you.

I use a physical A4 note book for my list. The left hand page is "really ought to do" and the right hand page is "long term projects/aims". Deep cleaning the dining room would be on the left, but making a photo book would be on the right.

I don't have timescales for anything, but anything I really ought to do sooner rather than later (on either side) gets highlighted yellow.

Also have this too - whiteboard in the kitchen for really urgent things that concern the whole family/my husband (ie not just my pet projects). Another thing I'm trying to do is move some of the mental load onto my husband so use this as a way to make my list more visible. He's a good guy but I have this thing where I let the lists control me a bit/think it's on me to clear the list!

BansheeOfTheSouth · 14/03/2025 19:47

The only way to control list stress imo is to write the list as you do things and immediately tick it off. I used to have endless lists that made me feel like I never did anything because they just kept growing.

Wanderdust · 14/03/2025 19:46

I could have written your post! I got the Ike app and it helped a bit - it's one of those ones where you categorise things on a urgent vs important matrix. Helps me to prioritise but like you I still seem to have a huge list of things I'd like to do! Laughed at the photobook example just because I have similar things on my list!

Createausername1970 · 14/03/2025 19:46

I like a list, but you have to control it, not let it control you.

I use a physical A4 note book for my list. The left hand page is "really ought to do" and the right hand page is "long term projects/aims". Deep cleaning the dining room would be on the left, but making a photo book would be on the right.

I don't have timescales for anything, but anything I really ought to do sooner rather than later (on either side) gets highlighted yellow.

PinotDragon86 · 14/03/2025 19:43

I think you should give yourself a pat on the back and go and enjoy your meal! Writing lists and having to do bits can really bog you down. Deep cleaning the front room can wait a few days; go and enjoy yourself and the tasks you've set can be done another time.
Don't get me wrong I love a whiteboard with my daily to do jobs written on, but life is for living, not ticking off jobs. Enjoy your family time.

Brefugee · 14/03/2025 19:42

Categorise to A, B & C
Delete C weekly

DtotheOG · 14/03/2025 19:42

That’s nice.