To have deleted my enormous to do list

Sad news of your dad - I hope things will improve x

Your DH is a sound man.

Never put more than five items on a to do list.

I'm sorry to hear your Dad's not well. It does rather put things into perspective doesn't it🥲

You were unreasonable for putting stuff like photo books on a To Do list.

A To Do list is for the stuff that MUST be done to make life work.
If you want stuff like photo books to be reminded, have a separate Nice-to-do List - this can be tapped into when/if you have some spare time.

Well done for noticing your situation and having a big Start Over! Good luck 🩵

I've never deep cleaned anything in my life apart from when social workers came round to assess us as adopters so that would be straight off the list

Sunday i sit down and separate my to do lists into days. I also have an 8th list . Outstanding. If it's not achieved by the end of the week it goes in there. Its now a very long list but as it's not in my view daily it doesn't bother me.

Categorise tasks as to whether they are Important or not and if they are Urgent (to do today) or non-urgent (can wait)

1 - Urgent and Important - DO these today.

2 - Urgent but Not Important for you personally to do - DELEGATE it. Your urgent task might be to ask someone else who could do it more easily than you, e.g. Is DH driving past the shop anyway and can pick up that one thing you need?
As DM used to say when we were teenagers, she didn’t feed, grow and keep a 6’ tall son at home to be climbing on chairs to change lightbulbs herself.

3 - Important but not Urgent - bonus if done today, but can wait. Things with deadlines you mustn’t forget to do.
At some point they will become Urgent, but you can DELAY them for now. Paying a bill when it first arrives or booking the car in for a service next month might fit in here.

4 - Not important and Not Urgent - DUMP these (or have a separate “Might be Nice” list for things like sorting out that box of old photographs or finishing a certain craft project)

As PP say, sub-divide tasks to their smallest component so, rather than “sort out a certain cupboard/ room”, have tasks to tidy one drawer or gather together one set of things spread across the house that needs storing together.
That way the Important and Urgent bit (“find passports”) doesn’t get lost in a vague “get ready for xyz upcoming trip”.

Christ that wouldn't even get to my list! It just gets done.

@BusyCM congratulations!!

i do my list on my phone. Since the stroke my writing is slow & awful! But if also allows me to prioritise without having time rewrite the list.

maybe keep your 'to do list for very important things (renew passport)
& have a 'reminder' list for things that you'd like done, but aren't critical (photo book)

I find making a list means I'm not constantly thinking about it because I know I won't forget as it's written down.

wow you are very dedicated. ive never deep cleaned anything but im a scruff

A deep spring clean needs to be booked in as a joint task that you both do, and set aside a day for it.

When I worked I used the 7 habits method of basically only doing something if it is important or urgent. It's worth reading up on it to refocus if you do need lists at work.

And keep your work stuff separate. Every if you work at home, close the door and don't let it into your daily life.

Sounds like my husband, tells me not to worry about doing the jobs now but has no intention of doing them himself. So they’ll just wait for me.

I got rid of to do lists about 5 years ago and I love it. I felt bullied by a list.

I have a don’t forget list on the calendar for really important jobs like “apply for passport”.

if I am super busy I will do a daily time plan for each hour 6am-8! I do this when I’m working 2 jobs.

I read a book that said that, for the lists of things you want to do, but nothing bad will happen if you don't do them, you should think of them as 'might do' lists rather than 'must do' lists.

So the photo book is a 'might do'.

Deep cleaning can almost always wait forever and I'd never cancel a family event or anything else fun, relaxing etc for cleaning. Life's definitely too short.

But it's true that you'll never get to the end of your to do list so there's no point missing out on the nicer parts of life by trying.

What on earth is deep cleaning?
Thungs are either clean or not, surely?

Came here to recommend Oliver Burke man.

I used to write a diary entry every day to the point where I was actually stressing about writing in my diary and keeping up with it. I realised there was no real point to it and stopped and the relief was immense! Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

I used to work for a guy who spent hours writing his to do list every morning, then stressed about it. Honestly, he could do a dozen things he added in the time he spent writing it.

I write urgent stuff in my journal, the rest doesn’t matter. I’m organised so housework is done on a daily rota, I don’t enjoy it, but grit my teeth and get it done first thing.

Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom, as a wise woman once said.

It was revelatory for me when one or other planning guru - can't remember which one - said you "You will never get to the bottom of your To-Do list". Up until then I'd always thought if I just worked hard enough I'd tick everything off. Not so. Life happens, priorities shift and emerge and items always get added to your list. I've made my peace with not trying to finish it all and am so much happier for it.

Deep cleaning my home can wait until after I'm dead x

I love a to do list but nobody needs to deep clean the dining room.

When I write lists I also write some things I already have done just so I can tick some stuff off from the outset 😂 I’m sure it’s a form of cheating BUT who cares, the lists are for me and it’s motivating.
i think you were right to delete the whole lot. There will ALWAYS be things to do but mang of them don’t have serious consequences if they’re not done.

I also do one task whilst the kettle boils, like wiping the worktops down.