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Original poster

Nasty work colleague

36 replies

Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:33

I've posted previously about this but I'm just looking for outside opinions once again.
My workplace where I was very happy for 18 years closed down and myself and 3 other colleagues have got a job with another company in the same place which I was very pleased about as we all get on well.
We work in a care setting with vulnerable service users I myself have autism and adhd and I've struggled alot in my life I feel very awkward around people maybe some social anxiety Im not sure but I probably myself come across soft and vulnerable. I'm finding it hard to adjust to the changes.
One colleague at New place is giving off vibes to me hardly talks to me ignores me only answers me in a 2 word sentence etc but chats away to the others which I gathered was because they are familiar to her.
My 3 colleagues as soon as theyve started which was after me straight away she's been chatty with them showing them things etc etc and I feel absolutely stupid and hurt by it. Before we started at this place we was aware of her been a potential problem with new people we had heard things from the manager and we was all wondering how she would be with us and when I started first I found that she was indeed not a very nice person then my other colleagues start and no issue it's really upset me and I'm wondering what to do. Family have said I should take her to one side and speak to her and that she's probably sensing my vulnerabilities.

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 14/03/2025 18:52

Throughout your working life you're going to come across difficult people and you need to learn how to deal with them.

Colleagues aren't your friends and are only required to be professional and do their job.

I wouldn't take her to one side, I would be polite and professional and do my job.

Original poster
Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:51

Oh dear I've never had anybody dislike me in fact I'm usually well liked not that I'm gloating but it's true so I'm clueless.
My friend thinks she manipulative and a secret bully.

OP posts:
Original poster
Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:47

I know there isn't anything specific as such but she's making me very uncomfortable and I noticed that she tutted and threw her hands in the air when looking at the care folder think it may have been at something I wrote. She won't even talk to me about work related stuff.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/03/2025 18:47

Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:43

We work in individual units where we get allocated and I had to transfer to where she was allocated and I knocked the door walked in and she looked very angry and completely blanked me I said are you okay and she said abruptly I'm fine without looking at me and didn't speak to me. Everytime I went to write any notes she had her eye on me like I had no right and if I asked anything she would say why do you ask etc. She sat in silence and didn't interact at all with the service user.

Thanks this helps. Agree with the previous poster it sounds like she may not like you for some reason. I can’t comment on her interaction with the service user, as I don’t know the what’s expected.

Just be professional with her but otherwise ignore her.

Ahsheeit · 14/03/2025 18:46

I know exactly what you mean, and for me, the best way is to completely ignore the behaviour and only communicate on a professional level. Be kind, without trying to please. Look at it this way - you don't like everyone you come across in life, and it's the same for all people. This isn't a you problem, it's a her problem, and she has to live in that head.

I have the same brain wiring as you, and the above took me a long time to learn.

Original poster
Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:43

We work in individual units where we get allocated and I had to transfer to where she was allocated and I knocked the door walked in and she looked very angry and completely blanked me I said are you okay and she said abruptly I'm fine without looking at me and didn't speak to me. Everytime I went to write any notes she had her eye on me like I had no right and if I asked anything she would say why do you ask etc. She sat in silence and didn't interact at all with the service user.

OP posts:
LadyTable · 14/03/2025 18:42

She doesn't like you from the sound of it.

She doesn't have to of course, but she does have to remain professional and unless she doesn't, I don't think there's anything you can do.

I wouldn't take her to one side and talk to her as no good will come of it.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/03/2025 18:41

That isn’t really an example or specific.

Original poster
Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:39

The service users don't like her either so not sure they pick up on her badness

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saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/03/2025 18:38

it’s A little hard to tell what’s going from your OP. Do you have any examples of how this coworker is behaving towards you?

Original poster
Charltonstrek · 14/03/2025 18:37

I really feel hurt by it but I know I'm quite sensitive but the others I've moved jobs with have always been good with me and I value them but to see this happen to only me has really upset me. I noticed the other day when one of my old colleagues was with me she acted differently around me like better.

OP posts: