Should we always be kind?

So people can behave how they want and can't be called out because they have issues?

People with issues are equally responsible for their behaviour as anyone else and maybe if more people called out bad behaviour society would be better?

Sure people can be having a bad day it happens if it affects other people that is a problem

I would have wanted to call out her shit behaviour but honestly, ignoring her was the best thing to do. She was probably expecting you to say something just so she could rant. Well done for being the better person.

She paid for 1 seat. So F her. Give her a smarmy smile and let it go over your head.

Too much talk.

You should have taken her bag from the unoccupied seat and thrown it out of the window.

This ‘kindness’ thing is overrated.😀

Or "did you buy a ticket for that bag?"

I can't stand seat hoggers like that. It's really rude and selfish.

I haven't rtft but exactly the same thing happened to me yesterday. I was really tired after a busy day; the train was packed but I spied an empty seat in the middle of a triple seater. I politely asked the woman who was partly sat on it and had her bag on it if I could squeeze in. She huffed and puffed and took her bag away as though it was a child I had banished from the seat. I sat in that seat, popped my earphones in, sat back and listened to (whatever it was I listened to - I can't remember). I never gave her another thought, op. I suggest you get some earphones so that you can ignore the huffing and puffing of unreasonable cf commuters.

How on earth does having a bad justify such rudeness? It really isn't a big deal to move your bag off a seat.

I don't think it's being kind in all circumstances, I would say it's more about giving someone the benefit of the doubt - not a new concept. I would've asked her what her problem is, there is no need for this type of behaviour

Yes. Always be kind. Don't give in to pettiness and negativity

This. I take the bus often.

I think you played it just right. You were assertive and got to sit down. Best to ignore the huffs and puffs. Very childish of her. You are best to avoid confrontation with someone you do t know. Not worth it.

When people say ‘be kind’ they normally mean ‘to me, regardless of the detriment to others, including yourself’. Of course people shouldn’t take up bus seats with their bags, should have integrity and consideration for others. But when people say ‘be kind’ the response is either ‘after you’ or ‘to whom?’

On this particular stretch of road, there is not a path on the opposite side.

These days I would just stop. If I thought the buggy was going to be pushed into me I’d put my foot out to stop it. Then see what happens as we have all stopped.

The other option is always walk the opposite side to the road. So you’re not the one forced into it.

No and I never teach my children to “be kind”. Be respectful. Keep your wits about you. I think you were kind to have charitable thoughts toward her at all.

This type of behaviour has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her, maybe she’s just a horrible person. You were right to ignore.

I was walking towards a couple of women who each had a pushchair. They blocked the entire pavement and did not move. I had to walk out into the road... and I was facing with the traffic, not towards it. Bloody dangerous and bloody entitled of them.

Ive asked someone if the seat was free. She ignored me so I sat down. She took notice quickly. I did sit on her bag. She should have moved it. It didn't have its own seat. If Ive had a bad day aI am a bitch, I make no apologies 😄. I used to work in customer service.

She was huffing to wind you up hoping you would respond in some way. The best thing is to ignore the winding up and NOT let on that it is getting to you.

Forget this be kind stuff. Be grateful you are not her. No one who is happy behaves like that.

I have noticed a huge increase in this behaviour where I am since 2020. People walking two, three or even four abreast seem to expect me to step into the mud or into the road. So I just keep walking. It’s not my fault if we collide.

I don’t think we should always be kind. I always try to be polite though, as it disarms dickheads.

Due to current personal circumstances I am currently managing a volcanic amount of rage.

I am so desperate for people to not come anywhere near me because I am
worried I will explode and because I am so angry it gives me a weird sense of entitlement to control others behaviour “so I don’t hurt them”

However, if I behaved like a twat on public transport I would fully expect someone to call me out on it. Maybe she is being a twat because it’s worked before, but it is my responsibility to manage my anger and not put it on others.

Kind got us men in women’s sport, prisons, hospital wards, toilets. Fuck being kind.

When a small DC was running riot in our community centre - chucking stuff, etc- and its DM was ignoring it I was kind.

About 30 times. DC paid no attention.

I seized it and carried the flailing, screeching, smelly back to mummy who whined ‘let the children play.’

We both know it’s not a play area. Inner psycho unleashed.

‘Don’t shout’ she whined, delighted she thought she’d got the upper ground. I wasn’t, and got the point through with the help of 2 other mums. Small DC taken away (again) to kick all the signs over.

When they eventually left I noticed she was pregnant, which was sad.

Thank you. He had the option of moving out of your way but didn't.

Rather than the somewhat aggressive 'do you have a problem?', I find 'sorry, did you say something? can I help you?' far more effective. Defuses the situation and shuts them up. But I sadly had to learn quite young how to stand up to bullies.