To think that if you’re over 30 and still blaming your parents for everything, it’s time to grow up?

85 replies

DenimHare · 14/03/2025 09:44

At some point, your trauma isn’t your parents fault anymore - it’s just your personality.

OP posts:

BlondiePortz · 14/03/2025 09:50

So i presume people posting on here are prepared for their children to keep on blaming them?

Overthebow · 14/03/2025 09:50

Depends what the parents were like and other circumstances. But I agree you can’t keep blaming parents for everything after childhood once an adult, you do need to start taking responsibility for your own life and decisions.

Daisyvodka · 14/03/2025 09:49

Ahh, what a privileged position to be in, to just think people can 'get over' stuff.
Some people do make it their personality, yes.
Some people have yet to connect the dots between the way they act, think and feel and their childhood.
Some people are doing their hardest to make positive changes to move on.
People are complex and it's not a binary spectrum of 'whinging over nothing, just get over yourself' and 'anyone with a mental health issue has no control over how they think or act, how dare you'
Neither of these attitudes help people actually recover.

Lentilweaver · 14/03/2025 09:49

I have a friend who is a shopaholic and blames it on her parents. That I find ridiculous.
But there are also people who have been physically and sexually abused. Like Ruth Ellis.

BorntoDillyDally · 14/03/2025 09:48

Is this just an opinion you've conjured up this morning or do you have in-depth knowledge and/or experience of working with people who have trauma from their childhoods?
Who are you to judge?

ARichtGoodDram · 14/03/2025 09:47

Took me until I was over 30 to deal with the issues left by my parents.

You can't put a time limit on dealing with daily violence and serious abuse. Well I mean you can, but it makes you very unpleasant.

Scar88 · 14/03/2025 09:46

Or there behaviour effected you so deeply it caused long term trauma. Your experience isn't everyone's experience 🤷‍♀️

SemperIdem · 14/03/2025 09:46

Depends -

Is the trauma not being bought a pony when you were 10, or being horrifically abused/neglected?

The latter will most certainly shape a persons personality, how that pans out is very individual but also very much at the feet of the parents.

SwtchedHouse · 14/03/2025 09:45

Agreed.

Lentilweaver · 14/03/2025 09:45

Hmmm... I used to think this until I came on MN and saw what terrible parents some had.
I had decent parents.

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