My co-parent threatening to stop me seeing my 4 year old daughter after I said I was looking to change rear-facing car seat in my car to front facing.

15 months is not even close to adequate. Why would they not be able to see outside? There's still windows...

I have indeed googled it and I still think WTAF.
15 months to 2yrs is adequate.
Do you not think kids look awkwardly positioned?
Facing a piece of material, not being able to see outside seems unnecessary. So please don't imply I am either stupid or ignorant.
I stand by what I wrote

My kids were both FF from about 18 months, my eldest has always had terrible car sickness and the seat being one way or the other made zero difference. Either seat is legal so it's up to you, but if it's genuinely about travel sickness it's not going to make a difference. Anti sickness pills are the only help, and I'm convinced that's only because they knock them out.

I had my dcs in a FF seat at 18 months or so too.
But that was a time when there was very few RF seats….

My point being, if your dd still fits the RF seat, don’t change it. Dint change it ‘because she bored and/or falling asleep’. Don’t change it because she has been sick a few times in the car. A lot of children are.
Safety is more important imo.

I'd be very shocked if you can find a child who hasn't been sick in a car once or twice. If she has regular bad car sickness then it's worth considering but FF won't necessarily help. In terms of growth, she's either over the weight limit or not.

When we started have my stepdaughter overnight many years ago and neither of us drove, we had no idea about carseat safety and the few times we went somewhere in someone else's car we just sat her on a booster. I now know that she should have been in a FF seat at least, if not a RF seat.

I'm not going to cling to my past ignorance just because I made a mistake last time. DD5 sits in a RF seat and will do until she outgrows the weight requirements.

It seems like you are making this into an issue for no reason. You've got the seat, you know it's safer, your ex is more comfortable with it.

Doesn't sound like a healthy co-parenting relationship at all. If what you say is true your co-parent is neglectful. I say if what you say is true as it seems odd to bring all this up when discussing a car seat and say that you hope things get better. If you wanted things to get better you wouldn't be so fixated on a forward facing car seat, looking for research to suit your wants and then listing other things your co-parent has done wrong. If you really wanted things to improve then you would stick with the rear facing car seat. Surely your research has led to you learning that rear facing is recommended for as long as possible.
Your post just comes across like you are desperate for some form of control and are trying to be clever about it by finding research to back you up and painting a picture of a neglectful mother. If you are seriously concerned about your child's health and safety with her mother forget about the car seat and address the actual issue.

I do, I spend most of my day sat cross-legged, so I'm always confused about this argument!

This is an image from a Google search of the car seat I have. This child is obviously way older than 4 so if you can imagine a much shorter cold would just stick their legs straight out in front of them.
My kids quite often chooses to cross his legs anyway, I think as grown ups we think of having our legs crossed as strange and uncomfortable because we just don’t sit like that, but if you watch kids they quite often cross legs and fold themselves into weird and wonderful positions because they are so so much more flexible than adults.

Sounds less like co-parenting , more just arguing via a proxy.
Poor child!
Nightmare for all

I don’t understand why you even needed to tell her about the car seat.

Do you live far away? You say up there which suggests you do. Can you move closer and go for 50/50?

If you’re concerned about her living conditions then contact SS. Is your daughter actually allergic to cats? I have a similiar aged child with asthma, hers is only triggered by illnesses and letting the cat sleep on her bed or not makes no difference. We’ve tried and it’s not different.

Let's not bring the whole rear facing vs front facing debate into this thread. It's not about that, and there are a million other threads exclusively on that subject.

It's about whether the other parent can prevent OP from seeing their child if they use a FF seat. And they can't. It's ridiculous. The FF seat is perfectly legal and no court will consider it a reason for OP to be deprived of contact with their child.

The tit for tat is immaterial (though I appreciate it's frustrating) and those issues need addressing by other means.

You sound passive aggressive and controlling. You have 14 more years of parenting together, your poor friend can't act as a go between for all of it. Stop focusing on "winning" and beating your ex and start focusing on actually being a good parent.

She is wrong to threaten to stop contact due to the car seat. But if you have so many concerns about her living conditions, why haven't you, or aren't you doing anything? What kind of contact are you currently having?

It's not good for circulation to be on a very long journey anyway; that's why you're recommended to get out and stretch your legs every few hours.

However, walk into any environment where children are sitting and you'll see they sit in all kinds of crazy positions, but what you won't see is them sitting on a high seat with their legs dangling, as they do in a FF seat. For that matter, you won't see many adults sitting this way either, hence why bar stools have foot rests on them.

The seat doesn't need to be wide enough for them to sit cross legged because their knees with poke out at the sides in that position, which isn't an issue. The purpose is to protect their head and neck.

https://erfmission.com/rear-facing-legs-go/

Why are you discussing the car seat with them? By discussing it you invited the opinion of others.
The co parent cant ban you from seeing your child because of a car seat.

Crossed is better than dangling for anyone surely? How long would you be comfortable sitting on a bar stool with no foot rest?

They go in front of them. M 5yo is rear facing and has his feet flat on the seat in front of him- where an adults bum would go if they were sat in the car.

His seat has runners so slides back, he's not scrunched against the back of the adult seat.

Much more comfortable than having dangling legs if he was forward facing.

I think you are both really underestimating the damage that could be happening to her lungs. A child with asthma cannot be expected to live in conditions that irritate her lungs. My dad grew up like that and his lungs were always a mess and he died of a fatal asthma attack when he was 36. Please give your DD a chance to heal and outgrow her asthma.

These are lots of separate issues. Rear facing IS safer due to the developing spine.

The other issues sound neglectful and obviously need sorting.

Bringing up your co parents issues is tit for tat and has nothing to do with your argument over a car seat.

Why is communication going through 'a friend' surely things can be lost in translation or made 'more' or 'less' than what they are. That may be making communication worse not better in a way.

As far as car seats go, you are within your rights to change to forward facing, rear facing is considered safer but as long as your child meets the height and weight criteria for a forward facing seat (is it a high backed booster or a 5 point harness seat?) then legally you are fine, but saying you have twenty years no claims is pretty ridiculous and adds absolutely no purpose to your 'argument' aside from trying to come across as superior.. 20 years no claims won't matter if someone isn't paying attention and rear ends you at 50mph+

If you think your child's health is being put at risk you need to do something about it, you seem more bothered about 'who is the better parent' rather than what is best for your child?

It doesn't concern him that his child gets cuts on her feet from glass and nails😟

@lovingthegiftcom please get social services to do a home visit and assessment . Maybe you should file for more custody