Content Warning (concerns S.A.) Added by MNHQ - To have expected more from school safeguarding

@NewbutoldfatherI did not say a formal complaint would not be taken seriously. You said complain to the Safeguarding Governor. That’s incorrect advice and should be knocked back with advice to follow the complaints procedure. This does not appear to be a safeguarding incident in school.

Having been a governor of 3 schools it really is best to follow the complaints procedure. You don’t complain to an individual or safeguarding Governor committee. You follow the complaints procedure. They will investigate the complaint and definitely take it seriously. They should also look at a whole school approach to integrating traumatized dc and expect evidence that this is successfully implemented. The Governors should think about ensuring all dc come first. The OP could flag this up with the Safeguarding Governor but it’s not the same as a complaint against the member of staff or the head.

You would have hoped the HT might have said I can’t do it because of zyz. (Would expect decent explanation) but I have referred to Y who will be in contact. Big hugs!

I can assure you that the board of governors will take very seriously any parental complaint re a failure of the head teacher to adequately safeguard. Ultimately the school could fail an inspection if they chose to just ignore it.

THis is true - I've been the safeguarding governor in an FE college and it is taken very seriously indeed. However it is much better to take the complaint to the Chair of Governors rather than the safeguarding governor (as PP have said) as the latter is likely to be the first port of call to investigate.

@TizerorFizz ,

‘A governor absolutely does not sit above the head and safeguarding lead. That is totally incorrect. Governors are there for strategy and strategic vision. They do not get involved in any day today running of the school. They must have a panel to hear formal complaints not resolved by the head.’

You are being quite pernickety and somewhat contradictory in this post.

Having been both a teacher and a governor (not on the safeguarding committee admittedly) I can assure you that the board of governors will take very seriously any parental complaint re a failure of the head teacher to adequately safeguard. Ultimately the school could fail an inspection if they chose to just ignore it.

Different schools have different structures (independent, academy, free schools or local authority schools) but copying the safeguarding governor on a serious safeguarding complaint will ensure it is taken seriously.

@LurkyMcLurkinsonIf the OP makes a formal complaint, the head MUST investigate and respond. She needs to go through the formal hoops - they are not onerous. As the Head has not responded she needs to set out the complaint in line with the complaints procedure. It could be the complaint (about the head) goes straight to the chair of governors. The policy will make this clear. If it’s about the safeguarding lead, it’s to the head - formally following the policy.

A governor absolutely does not sit above the head and safeguarding lead. That is totally incorrect. Governors are there for strategy and strategic vision. They do not get involved in any day today running of the school. They must have a panel to hear formal complaints not resolved by the head.

@NewbutoldfatherThe safeguarding governor has NO role in a complaint. The OP must read the policies of the school. The complaints procedure will be on the web site. A governor has no operational role at all. Knowing about the case will preclude them from sitting on the complaints panel of governors. So could be counter-productive.

@123dontcomeatme ,

The person to copy e mails to is the governor responsible for safeguarding.

This should be on the school website. They sit above the head and DSL when it comes to safeguarding and is the appropriate person to go to if you are concerned about the head re safeguarding.

I’m confused as to why a head can’t investigate what happens in his own school? Ask him if you should contact the local authority, ofsted or the school governors instead.

I think an independent investigator may actually be a good thing ? They seem hopeless

@123dontcomeatmeI would strongly suggest you start the formal complaints process. If you use the prices the Head must respond. As he has not to date, you have been unable to resolve the issue. Therefore you can use the formal complaints procedure. It will be on their web site. Make sure you follow it closely. If the head does not respond, or there’s still an issue, you can complain to the governors.

Im amazed there has not been a multi agency meeting about this with you present.

If it's part of a trust, safeguarding concerns re the head should be able to be escalated to the trust safeguarding lead.

But I don't blame you if you don't have the energy to take it further.

Is he also the school's Safeguarding Lead? It should say on their website. If so, that's why he can't investigate, because he'll be investigating himself as the person who should've been responding in the first place.

What an utter shit show though. I wouldn't give up though – at the very least your DD needs access arrangements in place so she can sit her exams in a smaller room to offset any anxiety.

What does he mean he can't investigate? He's the headteacher! Ask for further clarification about why he cannot do it himself and who he is suggesting would investigate in his place. Tell him you are deeply unsatisfied with this response and feel you should escalate it to the Trust's management team. Make it clear the school's lack of action is compounding the distress your DD is under at the moment.

@123dontcomeatme Reading some of this, if the Safeguarding lead is involved they MUST follow procedures. They do not act alone. If you haven’t done so already, familiarize yourself with the Sadeguarding policy and the law around abused dc. This is what rape is. There should be far more support for DD to help her through the process and the school seems to be acting alone.

Has DD got any support via the police or social services? They should be looking at how she can go forward and this should involve parents views too. The Safeguarding lead is not the sole person who should be involved in your DDs case.

OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m gobsmacked at the lack of empathy, sensitivity and professionalism with which your daughters school has handled this. You are quite correct that your attention would be much better spent focusing on supporting your daughter (and yourself) rather than fighting with the school. I agree that the head should not have committed to reply when realistically they probably couldn’t, and in lieu of a response, should have at least updated you with a revised timeline - if they don’t respond quickly and positively today, then I’d have no qualms in escalating it beyond them. In attempting to ensure they meet their attendance targets (which must surely be what is underlying all of these inappropriate communications you have received from the school) they seem to have lost any sense of humanity or humility. I definitely agree with the PP who suggested contacting your local MP or a councillor to help provide support and/or advocate for you, as the schools response to a situation that is already hugely traumatic to both your daughter and you seems to be compounding and minimising the trauma, rather than focusing on how to help

I'm so sorry your DD is going through this and that you're having to deal with this additional stress. The head should never have insisted he'd reply to you at length yesterday, because he needs to speak to all the staff members involved before he formulates a response and contacting them at the weekend could be tricky. He may also need to seek input (including legal advice) from the Trust and the LEA because of the clear breakdown in the safeguarding process involving a pupil who has been raped and the ramifications of that.

It should, however, be his priority first thing today. If you haven't heard from him by lunchtime then you need to escalate it to the Trust CEO and send a terse one-line email to the head saying that because he went back on his word to reply, you no longer trust him to take the matter seriously.

What's so appalling in all this is the emphasis on attendance in your DD's circumstances. Not at all the same, but my DD is due surgery in the Easter hols and has had multiple medical appts that I have provided proof of every single time. So you can imagine my reaction when she got called into head's office to explain her below average attendance. Just ridiculous.

I am sorry the school is not giving you and your daughter the support you need. Can I suggest you speak to the schools exam officer? They would be the person asking her exam boards to be lenient anyway and you could ask them if they could talk to her teachers and tell them for private reasons they are not going to convey that her teachers need to stop putting pressure on her for mocks and other work?

also speak to your gp - my daughter has severe anxiety and if a child is considered at risk due to their own mental health the school is obliged to assign them a person they need to meet with each week to help ensure that child does not become overloaded academically. Sorry I don’t know the term for it but teachers would.

I real feel for what you and your daughter are going through and the poor support from the school. And I really hope you both get through this tough time.
Don't know if it is worth contacting your GP to get them to write a 'sick' note to the school - in the sense that the school needs to cut her some slack and support her whilst she works through this deeply traumatic time.

@123dontcomeatme you are incredible. Your daughter will flourish in the future because she has a mum like you.

As @TwentySecondsLeft did, I would write to the Director of Children's Services at your local council. This school has shown you both that it does not have appropriate measures in place to support a child in crisis.

If you know your local councillors, you might copy them in as they can advocate on your behalf and push for a resolution within the council.

I really hope your daughter is offered the support she needs. She is very lucky to have a mum like you 💐

@TwentySecondsLeft and others with children in difficult situations- hoping you also have the support and resolutions that you need and deserve 💐

I am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. I can’t offer anything that can help with the enormity of what you are both going through but I am a physics teacher so I can offer some help with that.

Send me a DM if you want and maybe we can arrange something to help support her - in her own time with no pressure.

Make a complaint. To the police as well. You want all of this victim harrasing stuff to be charged as well. Its a crime and if you have evidence it helps.