as ex employer, (private though not public sector) ….you cannot use sick leave for child illness, or anyone else’s, unfortunately, no matter how ill the person you care for is. It is a harsh reality of work - it is not a companies obligation to pay you if you can’t work, it is the governments. That’s what benefits are for. Yep, it isn’t fair or socially just. Yep it affects women way more and adds to that gender and pension gap shit we have. And it really doesn’t help in a COL crisis thst people can’t save up the ideal 6-month income savings that is recommended for everyone that would allow you to take this as unpaid leave.
However if you are genuinely not well due to stress/anxiety that you cannot manage, go to GP and get a “fitness note” to cover a 2 week period initially.
what I’d then suggest, is that you then go back to GP at end of two week (book at time of first appointment- push for it) , and get a new note, that utilises the “fitness to work” aspect, around adaptation requests to work. For instance, in this case it may be perfectly feasible for you to do reduced hours as a “phased return to work”, starting with maybe 2 hours per day, then building up to a reduced part time week, covering period whilst your dc is in hospital.
if GP agrees this is suitable, at 2 week point, or at a 4 week point, that can then be sent into employer and they have to consider it, to try to make it work.
its kind of the whole point why “sickness notes” were replaced with “fitnesses notes” quite a few years ago now. The notes state what you can do, not what you can’t.
just doing those shorter days may well mean that your colleagues can just about get by too. BUT, this isn’t your problem. Is their managers. Shit happens with colleagues getting ill themselves, god forbid dying, or leaving with short notice. That’s what management are paid to do- figure out how they’ll prioritise eveyone else’s work. That means that they will need to try to ensure booked leave, especially if money has been paid out on holiday bookings, is honoured. But that isn’t your issue, that’s between your employer, bosses, and the other individual. Don’t add guilt to everything else you are worrying about. It is NOT your job to worry about this, unless you are the boss!
however, this reduced hours on wellness notes, is not a long term option. GP and work will expect you to be able to return to work, after an absence due to stress, in around 6-12 weeks. By 4-6 weeks in they’ll also be looking at you making commitments to “help yourself” recover…they may ask for an occupational health review with a GP/nurse they appoint, and ask you questions about your treatment in terms of medication, therapy, or just healthy lifestyle like getting outside and walking each day. Companies aren’t idiots- they’ll not accept a GP just signing you off for a full 6 months up front, and not ask questions. Most GPs won’t do this anyway, they’ll be signing off in 2 week stretches to start, maybe 4 weeks at most. As much as anything a good Gp will want to see you to ensure duty of care for your mental health. If an GP accepts you saying” I need 6 months off due to having to look after my child” and signs you off for that whole 6 months, is skating close to wind with legal duties wrt benefit fraud.
be very careful how you talk about this at work. If they get wind that you’re using the fitness note to care for your child, you could find yourself having pay cut/stopped and possibly disciplinary. You must only use fitness notes for your OWN health. I’m staggered at the cavalier attitude of posters here, saying it’s perfectly acceptable. It isn’t. Sickness pay covers issues with you own health only. Legally. Maybe in public sector like nhs they have a more “blind” approach to it- maybe because they realise most of their critical workforce are women, who this shit happens to all the time, and they’d loose staff hand over fist.
The other approach is to talk direct to employer about paid, or part paid, compassionate leave. Again a phased approach might go down well, with very short hours right now, and gradually increasing. You probably know how your employer might receive this and how flexible they are. In my old company we’d certainly , in these situations, give leave on full/phased part time to trusted, long tenure employees with otherwise good “Bradford factors” and performance. Especially if that employee had banked “good will” by working longer hours, travelling abroad, etc which had previously impinged on their own work life balance. One reason why it “pays” as a women, to do this if you believe company you work for will recognise that “good will” as and when it was needed.
id also ask what is dc father doing? You may have said this but I’ve missed it! If they’re about in dc life, they too need to be sharing the care - as much as anything for your own health, you DO need to get outside and walk even for 15 mins a day if you are feeling stressed, under pressure, fearful with high anxiety. It really does help.