Would you resent me if I was your employee or colleague ?

OP you need to ignore all of the unhelpful comments. I am a senior manager and in your situation I would absolutely tell any of my staff to prioritise their child and their own wellbeing over work. They will need to organise some sort of cover for you colleague to take their leave, but that isn’t your problem, it’s theirs, so don’t be worrying about that.

You won’t be any good to anyone if you run yourself into the ground trying to please everyone!

I’m sorry your dd is poorly. I’m sure your colleagues will understand if you need to be off and much prefer you to be on leave than resign. Your colleagues holiday shouldn’t be cancelled if it’s already been agreed.

Since you aren’t sick yourself you can’t honestly take sick leave. I would hope your employer might give you carers leave or exceptional leave or you can take unpaid parental leave (assuming your DC is under 16 you are legally entitled to this).

Stress is a mental health issue and treated as a disability under the Equality Act. You are legally protected OP and should take it as sick leave. Get yourself to the GP so you have it officially documented. You aren't ok - if you were then you'd be working at their bedside as you've said you aren't up to doing. Totally understandable.

No one is ever irreplaceable at work. You are irreplaceable to your child.

Mental health is still health. Talk to work, they may have mental health policies, mental health first aiders etc, but please please take the time you need off.

I wouldn't even question it to be honest, even as a career focussed person. My child comes first, every time.

Take the time, he with your DC. Forget everything else for now. If you have a good employer they would be encouraging this anyway and if not, I'd be looking for a new one when the time is right.

Sending lots of good wishes x

OP your kid is more important than any job.

Your colleagues are not your family or friends and you don't owe them anything.

Most workplaces would also not think twice about making you redundant in an instant for business reasons, so again you should not feel that a life crisis should come second to loyalty to a job.

You are in a really stressful situation and your child comes first. Tell your GP you are not coping and get signed off.

@Jimisnotmyname you sound burnt out. Last year my husband had a heart attack and then a triple bypass I continued to work through this. I burned myself out totally and ended leaving a job I loved, because I couldn't see any other way forward.
If it had been one of my team I would have checked in on them and suggested that they should see their GP. But I was made to feel that the business would not survive without me. I recognise now that my boss was wrong and should have a better duty of care to me.
Please see your GP tell them exactly how you are feeling.

Sign yourself off sick / it’s about priorities and your child needs you

See your GP, you need time off. If you can get sick leave and be paid to be at your daughter’s side when she needs you the most then so much the better.
Nobody is going to remember that you stayed at work to cover their AL. In ten years’ time you won’t even know each other’s names. You’ll see your daughter every day however, and crippling guilt that you didn’t spend more time with her so somebody she’ll never meet could go on holiday isn’t something you want.
I’ve been in a very similar situation myself and wish I’d done things differently.

Absolutely do it if that's what you think you need. Don't worry about what others think. It's managements job to sort out the colleagues leave.
Only thing I would caution is to think about if not working for 6 months is genuinely best for you - sometimes the distraction of work can be beneficial, it occupies our mind from some of the difficulties faced - can you do part time and/or get signed off month by month maybe?
Best wishes to you and your child. At the end of the day do what is best for ye x

You are clearly ill. You really should get signed off with stress, please ignore some of the other responses. In your situation I would do the exact same. It isn’t your fault there is no one to cover your colleague.

Please don't struggle through this and collapse. That won't help anyone - not you, not your family, not your colleagues or your company. There's a compromise option here. Get signed off for 2 weeks initially. Have a rest, take a moment to recover. Go back to work after that, cover your colleague's holiday and then reassess how you're doing. If you still can't cope then look at getting signed off for a longer period but don't paint yourself into a corner where you feel you have no options. X

Sometimes you have to do what is right for you and your family. You won't be able to work properly the way you are, your son needs you, absolutely get signed off. It is not your responsibility regarding the colleague's holiday, your worl will have to manage that, even if it is a specialism. You can't be the be all and end all to them. People get sick, businesses have to manage that, even small ones. Take the time to make sure you are well enough to care for your son.

Your focus is your DC.
How your company deals with covering that is none of your concern.
we work to live, not the other way around. How your colleagues feel about the situation or react is their business and is not your business. Kids above all. Good luck x

It sounds like you need some time off. Your colleague's holiday is unlikely to be cancelled, so don't worry about that. Get yourself to the doctors and get some support.

I think you need to prioritise your wellbeing so you can cope supporting your DC.

If your work is understaffed (which it is if it can't cover sick leave) that's not your problem or responsibility

YANBU

If your colleague can't go on their holiday, that is your employers fault not yours.

Do it lifes too short

And people wonder why there's high levels of sickness due to mental illness.
Complete arrogance in demanding your employees consider the impact on your business of what is a very stressful situation for anyone, involving a sick child, not of their making, above their own or their child's health and needs in a situation like this, and you'll decide if they're worthy enough of a bit of consideration from you - but only if they 'show willing' - unconditionally.

Where's your 'show willing'? Why wouldn't you actively manage the situation when you can see what's happening and see a good employee declining in front of you instead of placing more pressure and demands on them making the situation worse? Making them deal with more pressure and stress that doesn't need to be added because there's another course of action?

Another vote for wouldn’t resent you
or you’re daughter. But I would be creating an absolute stink at my work place for denying me my annual leave.

hope your daughter gets well soon as is moved to the specialist unit sooner rather than later

I am shocked by some of the responses. Are we robots or humans?

OP, you should be confident enough to do what’s right for you and your child, even if it seems worrying. Stand up for your child if you can’t fathom standing up for yourself. Get the help you need and do not worry about what others think. It’s up to your manager and the business as a whole to sort out the work when you’re sick. If they are in a situation that makes it difficult, then it’s a wake up call for them to sort it out.

Just remember we're all only a number where employers are concerned.
If for any reason they wanted rid of you, they wouldn't get a shit about you.
And it's up to the company to get cover for holidays, no one should have to cancel a holiday because someone is off sick, that's ridiculous

It sounds a shit company so OP needs to do what is right for her and her family.

Hopefully her colleague might be in a position to tell management they are taking holiday regardless and resign leaving management to pick up all the slack. Unlikely I know but it would serve them right.

Any manager worth their salt would realise that a short reset and coming back to work in a better place to do their best work is much better than an ill employee who then needs longer to recover and regroup.

Ignore those who lack empathy, and take the leave. Your mental health is important- it's easy to harm it, and difficult to repair it.