Would you resent me if I was your employee or colleague ?

Sorry you have a seriously ill child. I can see both sides to this which I think is the dilemma you have. You absolutely should be there for your child and it sounds like being signed off sick would be the right action (your own mental health being the reason).

If I was honest though I would be annoyed at you being off if I was your colleague (though I would understand why) as I know where I work you would not be replaced as it would be argued there is not enough money to be paying someone sick leave and to be paying someone to do their job (sorry to be brutal). The company should not be able to stop others taking leave but I don't know whether they could legally enforce this.
Also not meaning to be unkind, i would then be annoyed if this went on for 6 months (having to do your extra work) only for you to still not be able to return and to have to continue doing the extra work for even longer. Also without knowing the extent of your child's illness, I would be even more frustrated if you took all the sick leave (and no replacement at work was found) and then you decided to leave completely. I would personally find this frustrating as a colleague to think that everyone had been covering you all this time when you had no intention to return and it stopped the workplace finding a replacement.
Anyway that is just me being honest and thinking about the long term and sorry if it sounds harsh.
I hope your child makes a good recovery.

Indeed. I can’t believe how dishonest people are being.

There are some workplaces where this wouldn’t happen. There would be no money for cover. Colleagues would have to add to their workloads- I work in a UK university and if the OP were an academic there’d be no cover. We would have to cancel the OP’s teaching and cover all her other work.

So it’s not always that simple.

Fuck work and fuck your colleagues. This is your child and your life.

And no, I would only feel compassion for you if I worked with you. I’d be telling you to get signed off with stress because my god, I cannot think of a more stressful situation, and if my annual leave was cancelled I’d be raising hell with my shit employer, and taking my time off anyway, not you. If your employer is shit, that’s not on you.

GP here and I wouldn’t hesitate to sign you off sick, and suspect/hope most of my colleagues would feel the same.

I hope all goes Ok with your child.

With OP or your company?

if it’s with OP, why?

Because you don’t have children, surely doesn’t mean that you’ve no empathy for the DM of a seriously sick child in hospital?

She’s not taking time off and cancelling your holiday for an afternoon sports day.

Surely your anger would be directed at your employer though?

The employer should have a contingency in place.

What would happen if you were already on your annual leave and out of the country? The employer couldn't just cancel your leave then if someone went off sick.

This is not on the op to feel responsibility for and any anger felt towards her would be misplaced

They’ll get over it. You need to be with your child. I’d never resent anyone this.

Surely if your colleague has holidays approved they can't cancel them. You going off sick for 6 months, your employer should get someone in to cover you

Admittedly nearly 23 years ago but my DH fitted while driving (first time fit) and following the crash (no-one else involved but a large wall) was in hospital, not knowing whether he’d pull through for the first few days. He was then bed bound and flat for a month due to broken spine. After a few days emergency leave my head of HR called and “ordered” me to a doctor for a note for stress. All involved, doctor, employer, colleagues were so supportive and understanding (DC1 & DC3 plus DSC to care for too). No-one wants to see a valued colleague struggle. I was off for a month - nothing but kind words, support and flowers from them.
This is undoubtedly stress, you won’t be able to function at work, so let them put in some temporary arrangements rather than try and fit around day to day changes and step up with supporting their friend and colleague.

I don’t understand the colleague would need to cancel their holiday.

If you went sick whilst the colleague was on holiday, would they call her back? So why can’t she go if you’re already sick?

anyway it’s the company that employs too few staff that’s the issue.

Realistically as someone without children, if I was told I had to cancel my holiday I’d be very angry.

Op have you checked what benefits might be available? I wonder if you might be able to access DLA etc for your child and whether this could be the financial answer?

I personally wouldn't judge. If it was someone in my team with a seriously ill child I'd probably be trying to offer them some sort of paid exceptional lesve, but i appreciate that isnt something that's possible in a stretched team where the money is needed to cover replacing staff

I think you’re very much mistaken.

Is OP fit for work? She’s not eating, sleeping etc, she’s clearly suffering with a reactive mental health issue.

Why would this not be classed as sick leave and be treated accordingly?

Dear OP, of course you must take sick leave. Please make sure you do this asap. Everyone should understand and , if they don’t, that’s for them to deal with, you have enough already on your plate.

I’m so sorry your child is unwell. Hope that things get easier soon x

I manage a department in a hospital. I would be encouraging you to take sick leave rather than try and work piecemeal from your child’s hospital bed. Far easier to cover a known absence than manage with odd days of absence and incomplete work done at strange times by someone who through no fault of their own is struggling to cope. And there’s no way I would let someone else booked and planned annual leave be impacted by a long term sickness absence.

All I would warn about is that employers (in my experience) tend not to treat long term sickness for mental health issues the same way they do physical ones.

I'd be asking for special paid leave, rather than sick leave. I very much doubt that your GP would sign you off for that length of time.

The op is not fit for work which is the question the GP must answer. They are not coping, not sleeping, not eating.

I am so sorry to hear about your child. I would say it would be extremely difficult to work in these circumstances and being there for your child when you can is more important. I have had colleagues go through similar and I didn't consider for a second that they shouldn't be off.

For those that say "you're not sick" this is an incredibly stressful situation, causing physical and mental health symptoms. As a GP I wouldn't hesitate to support someone with sick leave for this.

I’ve been there OP, do whatever you need to do to get you & your son through this. Work isn’t worth your brain space right now.

Then if you’re sick, you dint have a choice. You need to be off because you can’t work.

I wouldn’t be cross with you but I’d be livid with my workplace if my holiday ended up cancelled because of this. They need to get in proper cover.