Would you resent me if I was your employee or colleague ?

Get signed off. No I would not be mad if it was my holiday. Sorry but if anyone was mad - they would be completely unreasonable. There are many ways an employer can sort cover, delay and reschedule plans, that's their job.

A company cannot work on a Bus Factor of 1.

This

I think if you are unwell as a result of the stress, then being signed off sick is reasonable. If you are not unwell, it would be more honest to request a career break unpaid and claim UC to cover that period. This will allow your team to fund cover. We have a fixed budget in my team and if someone is on full pay, we have no resource to fund cover.

As a line manager I find it easier to manage when colleagues are signed off sick for longer periods, rather than trying to work through illness/ difficult personal circumstances and never knowing when they are going to be in or how much work they can do.

Therefore I would say take the time you need as sick leave - sounds like you're burned out anyhow.

As an aside, it sounds awful that people cannot receive basic care in hospital. Many people don't have relatives available or could lose their jobs if they are required to be in hospital at all times.

She’s so stressed she has various physical symptoms. “Just” not coping to that extent is being sick by the average persons definition. I have had many colleagues take sick leave under similar circumstances and wouldn’t resent them. It’s a very normal thing GPs would agree to sign someone off for.

@Jimisnotmyname why can’t your DH take time of sick when your colleague is due to be on holiday? The way you were posting I assumed you must be a single parent. Why is it only ever the Mum who takes time off sick from work?

Apparently not for some! You have to have your head hanging off, to “prove” you’re sick!

I agree with the GP upthread that you sound too unwell to do your job properly. It's conceivable that your colleague will resent you, but that doesn't actually make you fit to work. You can't wave a magic wand and opt out of the ill effects on your own mental health.

This isn't your issue.

Take the time off sick. You'll be personally screwed otherwise.
Always protect yourself and your kids first. Then worry about other people. If you resign you're suddenly personally responsible for everything and 'doing the right thing for colleagues ' will get you nothing fast. You have more rights if you get signed off sick. You'll have none of you resign.

I hope everything works out ok for you.

Sorry, meant in 'MY' prayers

100% agree - removing any additional stress is very appropriate treatment

Fuck what people think. You need to do what you have to, literally to stay afloat in this type of situation. Take care of yourself and your child.

Presumably if you resigned your colleague would have to cancel their holiday anyway. When is the holiday? If it is next week, I would hang on in there for a week, then go on sick leave. If it is in a month, go on sick live now. Things might have improved in a month's tie - enough for you to go back at least for the duration of the holiday.

Agree. I would be looking for a job elsewhere if I were the colleague. Shitty management.

I wouldn’t think you were being unreasonable if I was your colleague

This is why managers should plan holiday so that there is still enough cover should someone be off sick at the same time as holiday. They usually have rules like only 2 off at the same time for this reason.

Its down to them to sort cover and a good manager would. I’m not sure what type of place you work in but we have had to have help from other teams before for similar situations to help cover work.

Speak to them. Maybe you could take time off but be flexible enough to cover the holiday?

I’d take the time off.

I honestly can’t see your employer cancelling your colleagues annual leave, this would set a really bad tone amongst employees. If they do, it’s for your colleague to fight them on. What would have happened if this happened next month and your colleague was abroad on holiday and say for eg you ended up hospitalised yourself? Would work drag one of you in? I doubt it.

The fact that you are worrying about a colleague’s possible feelings about possibly having to postpone a holiday in this situation is itself proof that you are not coping and need time off.

That is not even close to rational.

You have a seriously ill and suicidal child in hospital and you are feeling like maybe you should work in the hospital so that your colleague doesn’t resent you.

You need sick leave. No one will be helped by you having a breakdown.

Prioritize your child, your wellbeing, the rest of your family. Your employer’s understaffing is not your problem.

100%

@Jimisnotmyname OP, your child is infinitely more important than your work right now.

Personally, I'd go to the doctors and ask them to sign you off with stress for 2 weeks. Because, quite frankly you are stressed.

You can then use that time to be with your child guilt free, and take stock of next steps. You might need to extend it at the end of 2 weeks, or feel like you've got plan B set up. Either way it will give you some breathing room

OP get signed off with stress if you are stressed, it is not your job to arrange your own sick cover, that is your employers. It is your employer who should feel guilty if they cannot cover emergencies and therefore make their staff's lives difficult, not you. Xx Take care.

Another GP who has done the same although I see this "they're not sick" argument brought up on some GP forums. Dealing with something life changing like this really affects you.

Your colleagues holiday won’t be cancelled, it’s up to everyone else to pitch in, or get temporary staff in

if you need to be with your husband though is it sickness or can you look at taking extended leave?

She takes sick leave. It’s stress related. OP says she is falling apart. That’s what sick leave is for.

Love from HR

You have so much on your plate it's not surprising you are struggling. Be kind to yourself. Unfortunately this is one situation where you have to put yourself and your family first.
Sick leave (paid) is there for a reason (to keep employees). You have been at the same company for 10 years and have said you have an exemplary sick record.
Get to your GP and talk about your stress - get them to sign you off for as long as necessary.

Covering your colleagues annual leave is not your problem.