AIBU to be disappointed and a bit upset about this?

The same thing happened to me, OP. I gave to every collection for big birthdays, and when it was my 50th birthday, it was zero. (apart from a text from the Chairman, but only because I took cakes in). I don't think they even know when my birthday is because everyone else gets WhatsApp messages on the staff group and I don't. I don't contribute any more to any collections. I'm sorry this has happened to you, it's very hurtful.

Happy Birthday for Monday, it was also my birthday. Not a big one though.

I am usually the one who has to ask someone to volunteer for big birthdays, we had loads last year and it ended up feeling quite cheeky asking again and again. Luckily this year has been quieter.

I think if birthdays are celebrated at work, it needs to be consistent

I'd be upset too OP

I think most likely it's lack of consideration, not deliberate

Try not to take it too personally

I think 50 and 60 are big. And 21. Maybe the rest of them are in their 30s and 40s and think Happy Birthday is sufficient.

It strikes me that they all thought that someone else was taking the lead on your card/collection and I do understand how hurt you are feeling.

Similar thing happened to me last year.....I had a big birthday and none of my OH family bothered to even send a card.....that really upset me because we always remember theirs, get cards in the mail in time, source beautiful gifts or transfer money to bank accounts etc. All family birthdays are on our calendar to ensure no one gets missed.

I have been part of different teams that have had different approaches to celebrating birthdays.

One team kept a list of birthdays in a shared folder (not the year just day and month), and remind staff when birthdays come up in team meetings. They organise a card (a computer print out) before the day and drop it on the person’s desk.

In another team they celebrate all birthdays for the month with a cake or a team morning tea.

I think both approaches are nice but it really takes someone to be on top of it.

I think it is unkind that you were not acknowledged. I also agree with posts, I wouldn’t get too involved in other birthdays going forward. It has to be an approach that works for all, not just some.

Is there a possibility that someone at home has organised a surprise party that close colleagues are invited to?

Isn't it weird how everyone is different. Clearly, the OP isn't glad.

I don’t see 40 as a ‘big’ birthday in terms of work colleagues. No extra fuss from my work when I turned 40, the majority of staff are in their 30s and 40s so I guess it doesn’t seem like a
big milestone as we’re all roundabout that age anyway. 50 tends to be celebrated as a big one in my work but not 30 and 40. Maybe your idea of what constitutes a ‘big’ birthday doesn’t marry up with what your work think, I certainly wouldn’t be doing anything extra for a colleague on their 40th compared to what I did on their 39th.

I sympathise and have shared your pain. This was probably a case of everyone thought someone else was doing it. Once the day has been missed people move on and forget about it.

There is sometimes a lingering embarrassment so extra fuss gets made for the next person. Which of course makes the forgotten person feel just a little bit worse.

My birthday is early January so never had any fuss made.

The normal thing to do was for the birthday person's desk be decorated, card signed by the team. I can count the number of times I got that on the fingers of one foot.

I would arrive with the normal cakes (plus fruit & nuts for the new year dieters) to find nothing done. At some point during the morning I would see someone scurrying around the office getting a card signed. This would then get dropped on my desk which just emphasised the sense of afterthought.

So glad I now WFH.

That’s rubbish.

Did you ask your colleague?

I do think it’s best to not do this at work as people always will get forgotten and no one deserves to feel like this.

How will you avoid them?

That’s crap I’m assuming it’s one of those situations where everyone thought someone else was doing it but it’s still rubbish particularly given it was a big birthday.

I’m so sorry @Upsetbettythat’s shitty of them. How do you and your colleagues usually find out about birthdays to start with? I wouldn’t have a clue unless they mentioned it in advance.

Any mention of it today?

Happy Birthday! I can completely sympathise with you. In a previous job I had they used to celebrate big birthdays and major life events with cards and gifts. I had a big birthday, got engaged and purchased our first home all with no acknowledgement whilst at the same time they were celebrating the same events in team members lives.

Tomorrow is a bit late
It's a birthDAY, not a birthweek.
They've dropped the ball.

Happy birthday (belated)💐

My colleagues forgot my birthday yesterday. Won't be doing any more cards for anyone else

I would have to say something, because it’s so weird and hurtful and I couldn’t cope with wondering why!

I couldn’t do that to another colleague so I wouldn’t take it myself. I’d gently ask if I’d done something to upset everyone and admit I was quite hurt by it.