AIBU to be disappointed and a bit upset about this?

That’s really really shit OP, I’m sorry ☹️.

Oh OP I’m sure they must have something planned! It’s a difficult one - I’ve organised several BD celebrations for people at work. Problem is I always end up out of pocket - last time it was a 21st and I was fifty quid down because I wanted it to be significant and some tight side only put 50p in and so I made sure there was a decent voucher gift. I know that was my choice, but it means I don’t do it everyone’s BDs as I just can’t afford it. So I’ll pop in a tenner when someone else is organising, and when no one has contributed I’ve just gone and bought the whole gift.

is it coming up to payday (like, they weren’t organised and they’re waiting until then so everyone has money to contribute?).

I hope you’ve having:have had a good day - the suns shining hopefully, and you can celebrate at home 💐

That's really crap, I'm sorry xx

Did they definitely know how old though? I think in ourplace we've been a bit inconsistent in that because it depends if anyone happens to know / remember that it's a big one whether anyone arranged anything.

Currently living in Germany. Here you’re expected to bring a cake YOURSELF for your colleagues on your birthday. 😁

Maybe a last resort to instigate a celebration. 😅

For me the issue is the inequality. There clearly is a precedent at your work for birthdays being celebrated so no wonder you feel put out.

Does the other person at work who got a 40th card recently have the same manager as you?

If yes, then I would raise it with that manager.

If no, I’d chalk it up to your manager being shit - and their manager not shit. It sucks but unless there is someone making effort to send a collection round it just doesn’t get done sadly.

I think in these situations it's best to be factual, honest, non dramatic and definitely not sarcastic or petty - the last two let them off the hook because they're justified in thinking you're a twat.

When the right opportunity presents; either someone ask you about your birthday, asks you to sign a card for someone or just a chat say

"I was actually pretty disappointed that week. I had a big birthday and was emailed to partake in celebrations for other team members but nothing was done for me. It left a sour taste in my mouth."

Don't elaborate or mention how you work be contributing going forward, just let it sit there.

When I left my last job, only my department signed my card and bought me (very lovely I might say) gifts. Another department did get me a card as they couldn't understand why a card and collection had not gone around the whole company. Very sad at the time as I like reading what people have said, some of it is usually hilarious and I tend to keep these kind of cards

So really just this to say, who knows why colleagues do this sort of thing, I hope you have a wonderful birthday with your family and friends

Happy Birthday🍾🎂 x

although i remember being very upset because work colleagues i thought forgot my birthday
but they must have suddenly remember and gave me a whole department signed card in the afternoon!
so i get where you are coming from but you are posting after a week so i think you need to put it down to bad organization

i wouldnt duck out of future birthdays
i imagine it was a mistake

OP in your shoes (and again i am not only petty but very confident in myself) i would let it be known that a significant birthday was missed (you don't need to say whose) and that in view of that, it would be better, going forward, that there were no more birthday collections office-wide, to avoid disappointment and possible future accusations of bullying.

And then just duck out of all future card signing.

Well, I find your response bizarre! Exhorting the OP to ‘stay professional’ as though you’re her line manager or something… Just because you’ve never worked anywhere like that (and have, seemingly, missed the point of the post), that doesn’t automatically make the OP unprofessional.

Turn up with a cake/bottle of somethinh & saying your going straight to a friend's- family members after work "for my birthday" & let them cotton on

But this isn’t about you…

One place I worked had to stamp on all whiprounds etc. There was an embarrassing situation where one person's non-special birthday garnered a massive whipround pot as it had gone round the whole building while a colleague's wedding whipround was only circulated amongst close team members.

The first person was known to everyone as she delivered in-house post. The second person sorted the post which the first person delivered.

Cue much upset.

The company put some rules in place so that whiprounds were banned after that. Company would give a modest gift.

People knew it was her birthday and some wished her happy birthday throughout the week. What would reminding them have changed? The issue isnt they forgot, it is that they did nothing to mark it, despite it being company standard behaviour.

i think you should have told people it was your birthday, and jolted their memory

I can empathise OP - I’ve been in my current job for 7 years & was given a birthday card signed by some of my colleagues the first year but nothing after that. What really rankles is that folks who have only just started working in the store will be given a card. There’s a few of us who have been there a while that don’t get one. It also stings that I didn’t even receive a get well card after an op yet in the past, I have been the one to organise a card & flowers for colleagues.

I’m sorry this happened to you, but so glad you got a surprise party! I don’t blame you for not contributing in future.

No one at work wished me a happy birthday this year (my best friend at work doesn’t work that day and most of my closest colleagues are men who don’t care about their own birthdays, but it made me feel crap). 😔

I'd say they plan on celebrating your special birthday on Monday as it's this Monday coming? Keep us posted!

Ah fab you had a surprise party last night! Relish in that lovely surprise! Hope you got some lovely thoughtful gifts and feel like a superstar!
So annoying when things like that happen....I've slipped through cracks birthday wise too as my birthday is in September..a teacher....so it's always passed by the time people realise it has come! But don't sweat these things any longer! But totally understand if it is a done thing and you feel they have forgotten. They still may celebrate on the actual day so don't give up hope yet!

Also how about saying it to one of your closer colleagues?
Either way have a fab weekend! 🥳🎂

Have you been at the company a similar amount of time as the person who had a card and whip around? I have one colleague where we did make a big fuss on her 30th even though we usually wouldn’t because she’s been at the workplace since she left school, she’s been there longer than most and a lot of the longer standing staff remembered her as a brand new teen starter so I guess 30 seemed a bigger milestone for her than somebody who was already in their late 20s when they started with us anyway. Sometimes it also just comes down to whether the people you are close to at work are also the people who are proactive and make a fuss around birthdays, at my workplace some people get a bigger fuss than others because another colleague that they’re close to is proactive in getting it done, some colleagues are friends out of work and have a big social circle in work and others keep to themselves and don’t have anybody who is close enough to them to make a big effort. Are you close and sociable with people at work? Do you see any outside of work? How does this compare with people who have had an effort made?

What happened?