What do you think of this family house rule?

A childhood friend grew up in a house with this kind of old fashioned rule and I hated staying over because of it. It felt like some kind of performance that their mum thought reflected well on her rather than what the kids wanted or what would have made them comfortable in their own home. It wasn't the only decision made like that either. All the children are now adults, live in different countries to their parents and rarely visit.

Well you're quite obviously the mum in this scenario. You're imposing your ideas of cleanliness on an entire household of people. It all sounds a bit joyless to me.

What would the rule be if you lived in a flat or a bungalow?

That is the worse idea I've ever heard! How does it work in the evenings? Tonight I came straight home, bath & pjs on by 7pm....would I be allowed back downstairs?

seriously ? I suggest to my teen at a weekend she might like to go get dressed etc for lunch but other than brushing teeth as soon as they get up I don’t see an issue if not going out somewhere immediately in the morning, I I think having a lazy morning in pjs is quite nice occasionally particularly for children after a hard week at school

How unwashed are people in this house that after an evening shower and a night of sleep they “smell of bo in dirty pjs”?

It’s ok as long as you intend to invest in a full set of lounge wear for the whole family 😆

Only if you’re staying with oldsters or the posh.

Mind you, in general, dressing fast cos you’re desperate for coffee is vair useful.

They're being asked to get washed and dressed before they even come downstairs!

Yes, similarly we only have a downstairs bathroom. Should we be getting dressed and groomed for the walk downstairs to the shower? Can we grab a tea on the way or is that only when we’re clean?

My husband grew up in a household like this and now as a result he has major issues as an adult.

The parent(s) in this scenario are going to be greatly resented by their children once they grow up.

I'm assuming this rule doesn't work for everyone in the household and that's why you're checking what everyone here thinks? In our house, my 3.5 year old gets dressed and brushes her teeth before she comes downstairs - but that's just because she's a massive procrastinator and it makes mornings run more smoothly. I prefer having a shower and getting dressed before going downstairs, but often don't manage to with managing children. My husband always comes downstairs in his pjs and it doesn't bother me at all. I'm sure we'll change things at some point (probs when the 3 year old notices she has to get dressed and everyone else doesn't), but I can't imagine having a hard and fast rule, especially if it doesn't work for everyone in the house.

How would that work in a flat? Asking for a friend...

Another way for the teens not to be moaned at is for the obsessive parent not to moan at them.

Well, like I said, I like the idea of it but I could never get my kids to agree unless we were doing something. I don’t remember being in my pjs either. I had 3 older brothers so I think I just threw on something comfortable. I don’t really remember bc it was along time ago

Everyone has their own way. When my children were newborn I was always dressed by lunchtime and I see no reason why I shouldn't be now (full time work or not) . . . but I'm up with horses by 6 so maybe that's the difference here??

In general I find they are dressed when downstairs anyway, but making it in to a rule seems a bit draconian. Why make home into something so regimented when you don't have to?

If the pyjamas are dirty and smelly, then they really can't be washed regularly.
Clean teenagers don't smell. Edit...Their bedding must be dirty as well, if their pyjamas are.. The householder should wash bedding more frequently, or get the teens to.

I think it sounds awful.

Hardly a happy or safe space. I’d be looking forward to moving out but balancing that cost with therapy sessions.

Absurd. I don't do pyjama days, and find the current obsession with 'cosiness' quute irritating, but I do come downstairs on weekend mornings in my pyjamas and read or knit, have a cup of tea, and sometimes breakfast before having a shower and getting dressed. Banning family members from coming downstairs in pyjamas is just mean and unnecessarily controlling. I'm also suspecting a bit of obsessive cleanliness.

• Growing up I always got dressed when I got up. We never really did nice PJs and dressing gowns. It wasn’t a rule, I just never did it.

However my DC spend a lot of time in PJs and it doesn’t really bother me. I always think teens are meant to lounge around. Your whole life after teenage years is spent running and racing. Let them chill a bit.

Once they are doing some activity/exercise, keeping up and school and generally happy, I don’t really care if the rest of the time is on the couch. Good for them I say !!!*

Absolutely this.

So if I wanted to make a cup of tea at 6 am I would need to be dressed first? Not a chance! I like to be showered and dressed by about 10am but before that I am wallowing in my jammies. I am a retired woman. I can do as I please.

Same in my house (well, flat).

I can't bear the DC getting up unnecessarily late, slobbing around in slept in pajamas, teeth unbrushed, hair unbrushed. It's grim and just yuck. Fine to have them slob around in clean pajamas, after basic ablutions (including a shower if one wasn't had the night before). Get up, get clean, eat breakfast then do whatever you have to do starting with getting any chores/work out of the way preferably.

Growing up I always got dressed when I got up. We never really did nice PJs and dressing gowns. It wasn’t a rule, I just never did it.

However my DC spend a lot of time in PJs and it doesn’t really bother me. I always think teens are meant to lounge around. Your whole life after teenage years is spent running and racing. Let them chill a bit.

Once they are doing some activity/exercise, keeping up and school and generally happy, I don’t really care if the rest of the time is on the couch. Good for them I say !!!