To take new man to late DH's favourite place?

Agree

^ this with bells on

It's a no from me op, I'd take him somewhere new and make new memories.

Nope. I am in a relationship with a widower and I would not like this at all! You can still go hiking just go somewhere else. Make new memories together and no definitely don’t give him the clothes!

Please give the hiking gear to someone else. Anyone else. Depending on the type of clothing it may be suitable for someone homeless.

And in regards to the place go there with your children first on holiday without him.

I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months. He’s a widower. He and his late wife enjoyed a particular hobby together, it’s not something I’ve ever been into but I’m willing to give it a try.

He wants to take me to a place where he and his wife enjoyed this hobby. I’ve now found out that it’s a place he was introduced to by his late wife, that was really special to her since her childhood, and then became really special to both of them as a couple. He has never been back to this place since she died.

He’s also offered me his wife’s clothes to wear on this trip.

Is this wierd?

YES

If a man I’d been dating for 6 months said to me, ‘Darling, I want to take you to where my dear departed wife and I used to walk, and I want you to wear her clothes’, I’d be figuratively (definitely not literally) running for the hills. Are you sure you’re ready to date again? I think that’s a trip for much further down the line.

Oh come on you can’t seriously want to offer him your deceased husbands clothing!

NOPE!

He might dump you after that!

Be mindful of displaying your grief too much to the new guy personally it would put me right off!

I don't think it's disrespectful, I think it shows you trust this man with what's precious to you. However, if you haven't been back to this place since, without your husband, you don't know how you will react emotionally, once you do. You may find visiting this place with a new partner, when you haven't been back, a little too.much. I would go back to this place on your own first, may be even a couple of times, to see how you react. Until you go, you're not going to know what emotions you will have. Sometimes, we think we'll react in one way, but in reality it can be different. If you find visiting again a positive experience, then see about taking your partner.

I tried to think of it the other way round, I’ve met a partner and he wants to go hiking to a place I know was special to his late wife loved , whilst wearing her hiking gear.

Hmmm. I’m thinking how I’d feel in your partner’s position. I honestly don’t think I’d be totally comfortable going somewhere that was your and your husband’s special place (especially as he thinks it’s more your family’s special place), that’s so redolent with memories, and then being offered his clothes to wear as well.

I know your question is if it’s disrespectful to your husband, but I think it’s maybe a little off with regards to your partner. It’s lovely that he’s so supportive when you struggle on anniversaries (as he should be!), but taking him on a tour of places that primarily are about memories of you and your husband is quite a step on from that. I agree with the other posters that maybe your first time back there should be solo, or with your children, so you can process your feelings.

Why not just – go somewhere else?

I think you sound very pragmatic, OP, and are possibly not someone who attaches a whole lot of sentimentality to places or objects? Which is fine! There’s a lot of projection going on on the thread about how you might feel when you get to this special place, or what it would be like to see your new man in your husband’s gear, but only you can know if these feelings are actually likely to occur, and if you don’t feel that’s an issue for you - as the tone of your posts suggests - then crack on. Life is a long, messy, beautiful ride, and there’s nothing disrespectful about continuing to enjoy it even after the loss of your beloved husband.

I would not give your late DH gear to someone you've only known a year.

It has special memories attached to it. What if he were to lose it or break it? Or you break up and never get it back?

I think it's nice. Your DH will always be special to you and your new partner will have to embrace that and make room for him. Sharing something that was important to you both is a way of recognising that but also acknowledging that things have changed. If it feels right then do it!

Holiday idea would be way too much emotional pressure for you and v tricky to navigate for him (pardon the pun). If you go to the lovely place would go alone with your DC.

Clothes idea inappropriate. Offer to your DC, give away or keep it if you prefer.

Hiking gear for nice, beginner hikes is cheap anyway.

Honestly, OP, I would say to the kids 'do you think it's weird if I offer X Dad's hiking gear' make it clear you're not sure yourself either and their opinion will totally be respected. If they're for it, then say to DP 'this might be weird, we're not sure, but no offence taken either way-there's DH's gear here, you can have it if you want it, or do you think I should donate it?'

After 6 months I’d absolutely go somewhere else with him, its too much pressure on a new relationship.

Can you visit your DHs place with just your kids?

You want to take him for his first hike, to you and your late husbands favourite hiking spot, a spot you haven’t been to since your husband passed away, and you want this guy to wear your husbands clothes.

Yeah, that’s wierd.

OK, so I think it might be OK in terms of in the eyes of others BUT he can kit himself out fairly cheaply AND does he know why the place is special?

If your going to take him, then you news to be honest with him.

How long have you been with new man?

Why don't you offer them the hiking gear?