To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

I think the drive to get out of poverty plays a part as well - and to help fix his growth issues as well.

Do you think Messi's success was because his parents told him to strive for it or because he had his own desires and motivations to achieve as well as the necessary talent?

They aren’t working hard- they’re doing an hour every other night. My DC had more homework and revision than that in year 7.

If they are achieving 7s with hardly any work, they could easily do better with some effort.

I think it's very sensible for most people to realise that they don't have the talent and skills to play for Barcelona.
If you are sure that your DC is capable of 9s then it's certainly worth putting whatever you can in place for them to achieve this. But the OP has not said that they are capable of 9s, they are currently getting 6s and 7s and already working hard. She has only said that she thinks they should be aiming for 9s because she was aiming for As.
Working to someone else's unreasonable expectations is very demoralising. By GCSE age, the motivation should start to be coming from the child themselves and not the parents.

Great that you always strived for 9s but that was you and your life. Let your child live theirs!

Also sometime the predicted grade don't mean what you think - some department won't predict highest marks, some predictions are pessimistic or wildy off especially if kids is quiet in class- and some teachers were taking it as if they sat the exam tommorow and not at end of the course. So found it worth asking in parent evenings what they meant.

It depends I think Lionel Messi had an abundance of natural talent and enjoyed it.

Ronaldo is very much the player who refused to accept mediocrity and whose work rate took his talent from being one of the pack to being out in front. But even he admits it was at the expense of pretty much everything else in his life.

the ability to be Ronaldo (and perhaps someone like Salah) is a personality thing and not something you can push onto your children.

and football does have those who whom they failed and for whom it was too much and for whom going up to the higher level destroyed their career - Jack Grealish and Kalvin Phillips comes to mind

parenting should be about working out actually (and yes I do like this analogy) if you have a Messi a Ronaldo or if you have a Grealish/Phillips for whom pushing too much coild be a disaster

I find it hard - my middle child probably only one even near as driven as I was.

Youngest - well I wish she was doing more but her teachers seem happy. I have to step carefully we had issues last year around anxiety - not from home pressure more school environment being hard - which do seem to have gone for the moment. She no less capable than middle child but worry she could do more and aim higher.

She should get the grades for the next step - and I don't think you can demand certain grades - just focus what they are doing - be supportive as you can be - checking in and seeing if they need anything.

I spent a lot of time stress about eldest - she didn't do as well a predicted but got where she wanted to be and I don't think all the worry we had helped her at all in the end.

I think the switch to numbers has thrown me a bit. I got all A*s and As at GCSE. I found school very easy and only now do I realise how lucky I was. I had one DD get her grades in 2020 and they were based on not much really! My second DD is now in year 10 and is predicted 6/7/8s. I was secretly disappointed when she brought her report home with the predictions. She is very intelligent and 6s sounded so meh on the scale. But in comparison to when I sat the exams, I now realise, these results would be brilliant. My DD would be perfectly capable of 9s in some subjects if she wanted to dedicate herself entirely to her studies. She doesn't want this and I'm not going to force it from her.

I don't think its unreasonable to want the best. I think its unreasonable to let your kids know that their best isnt good enough for you though.

No, but Lionel Messi (or his parents) could have said there’s no point aiming to play for Barcelona as only 22 people can do so, and settled for Watford instead.

I don't think anyone suggested OP's child should not bother sitting the exams unless they are going to achieve 9's.

I think a football analogy is relevant here. By definition, only 11 players can start for Barcelona (with maybe double that in the first team squad).

Should Lionel Messi just have given up and accepted mediocrity just because only a small group get to play for Barcelona?

You strived for A's but achieved A's, B's and C's. Presumably A* or A** weren't a thing then.

How did you feel about your B's and C's?
Were your parents and teachers proud of them? Did you feel that you achieved what you were capable of?

6's and 7's are good grades. If your DC is a model student and is working hard to achieve those then those grades should be celebrated. If DC is coasting and could achieve 6's and 7's in their sleep and is fully capable of achieving 9's with a little effort then yes DC should be encouraged to work towards that. But pressing someone to achieve beyond what is realistic is unwise.

I wonder if you would achieve 9's if you sat them OP.

Total nonsense. The percentage of people who can get a grade 9 is irrelevant. If a DC is capable of being part of that group, that’s what they should be aiming for!

Also total rubbish that GCSE grades don’t matter. Many competitive universities beyond Oxbridge will look at them. Employers also like to see a consistent trend.

Equally, DC need to develop the skills that will stand them in good stead for A level study.

@ZeldaFighter a 4 is a C in old money.

Plus if she is year 10 a 7 is actually probably
on track for an 8/9 anyway - do the school give an indication of how they do the predicted grades etc.

for example DD only went to 9s for her predicted grades in the last set of year 11 mocks in Year 10 they were still looking at 7 and 8 for some subjects because she hadn’t finished the curriculum

Extended papers?
What do you mean?
There are foundation and higher tiers

Nope there should be an understanding that no matter what no more than 7% will get a 9 because that is the boundary set

it is about recognising that GCSEs are marked in a bell curve bexause by and large it is a bell curve and the majority will get grades 5-7

that it is this shitty system that has sub divided an A to the point that a 4 which is a pass isn’t seem as good enough anymore

that as much as some people on this thread try to say differently unless you really do want to go to Oxbridge GCSEs beyond passing maths and English don’t actually matter - getting 4s in them is vital

and that all the hardwork in the world can escape the fact that some incredibly annoying person will refuse to do any revision for a maths exam and get 98/100

and I say that as the parent on of the child would
did exactly that and will get all 9s even though she revises the amount she needs and is comfortable with. I will never expect her brother to achieve this bexause it isn’t in his wheelhouse to do so

That sounds like a positive update. I would chat with them about their current level of effort v outcomes.

I also wouldn’t say a 7 is an excellent result if they’re capable of better and I wouldn’t be transmitting that attitude to them.

Shouldn’t not should’ve.

But people aren’t saying average or poor GCSEs = poor effort.
Everyone has different capability.
Someone with 7s could have worked very hard to get them, or been capable of 9s and didn’t try very hard.
it’s the same with all grades.
The question is whether they and the school and parents had an expectation they would work hard and should aim for their best - that they should’ve be satisfied or pleased with 7s if 9s were achievable for them.

The vast majority of DC will never get grade 9s. What is important is that they try as hard as possible and get the grades they’re capable of. This also serves them well for the future as they develop a work ethic and discipline.

A DC who is happy with 7s while doing “an hour every other night” is not working hard by any definition.

Take control and help your child. Go to savemyexams.com and practise lots of past papers. GCSEs are not about acquiring knowledge, but more about answering the question in a certain way. Make sure you know what exam boards each subject is in.

See that’s the thing. People could look at mine and think oh they did shit at their GCSEs so therefore they can’t be arsed at life and jobs.

my ds has an incredible work ethic, he’s never been off sick, he’s worked himself up the ladder, put himself forward for practical qualifications that were done on the job and he walked out of college in his second year and then went straight into a job. He’s 25.

Dd2 did poorly at school, she hated every second she was there, but went to college and passed childcare and then went straight into a nursery. It’s not her forever job, she’s aiming for other things but again she works incredibly hard.

oddly the dc with a degree, who got all the qualifications and distinctions is really struggling to find work now, (she does have poor mental health and other issues) and she’s working part time in a minimum wage job.

too early to say with dd3.

honestly it does my head in when people say half assed GCSEs equals poor work ethic or outcomes. Yes I know my example is anecdotal but I also see many young people similar to my dc with similar experiences.

the only thing I expect of my dc is to try hard, and leaving school means you either go to college or straight into a job, no sitting in your arse doing nothing in my house. They have tbf.

none of mine did A levels either. They wanted to do practical based college courses.

Wow there's a real culture of low expectation in this country judging by the first few posts.