Some parents are very content with arms length involvement - they leave everything to school and to the child. They feel much more than the odd word of encouragement is pressure or over involvement.
At the other end of the spectrum is micro-management and parents living their own lives and hopes via their child. It can be total control with the child being allowed no autonomy if their own.
As always, there’s a happy balance. It does require parental recognition if their role in parenting rather than leaving it all to school or to the child who cannot be expected to always know what’s best for themselves and might need some direction. To me, sensible parent is being aware of one’s child and making it the parents business to gain info about their child’s abilities and potential, enthusiasms and struggles. And then the active parent makes decisions about when and where to get involved and which areas to back off from. They recognise their child as an individual but want to help them towards doing the best they are capable of and learning to take responsibility for themselves and their own choices. And this ha to be learned gradually and practiced. Many young adults and even older adults lack some of these skills because they weren’t helped towards them as teens.
I think these days, more parents are veering towards the first of the 3 categories. I think Op wants to be the 3rd category of active involvement without micro management. But as this thread shows, many parents view any level of active involvement or voicing concerns of hopes their DC will do their best, as being the micro managing 3rd type. And they are critical if it. It is almost as if it’s socially unacceptable for many parents to feel they can have hopes for their child or give them any direction and guidance, never mind expectation, as anything of this type is seen as undue and dangerous pressure. Again, this sub balanced and doesn’t help kids.
I think OP wants to be active rather than micro manage…..but like many parents, isn’t quite sure what that should involve. She recognises DC is doing pretty well. Others whose children might be capable of less, immediately see this as criticism of their own kids - when it isn’t: they suggest OP should be thrilled to have a DC on for 7s as they would be thrilled with scenario. But OP’s DC is an individual with their own potential. Sounds like a steady DC who is reasonably diligent and basically plodding forward. That’s good stuff and a good starting point, and admist a crisis of mental health and anxieties, many would love their child to just be plodding forwards - because often they aren’t.
But there can be more and there should be more for many. Children can help have their aspirations raised beyond plodding forward with an hour of work every other day. Many could achieve more than the 7s they might get this way, if they had a sense that lots of kids do achieve more, that more sixth form options will be open with more and more uni courses and careers. And they can learn that hard work and an element of sacrifice sometimes can really pay off and open doors. Learning to lean-in and take the longer view and what to for longer term goals is a mark of maturity and younger children can start to learn it with parental support - no hot housing needed. Maybe Op needs to chat to school about what they feel DCs potential is. Perhaps they could deepen their understanding of the GCSE assessment and how grades impact A level choices and careers and get a sense of how other families whose kids are doing well structure their time. Parents don’t need to be afraid to parent their children…not micro managing, but setting them up to succeed. It doesn’t happen by magic and school alone won’t do it and the idea that small children and teens can or should be totally responsible for that, is parents abdicating responsibility in my view.
And we see these kids then becoming confident to trust their own judgements, knowing they have the tools and skills to work through difficulties and to manage as they go out into the world ….happy to travel to cities they haven’t been to, to talk to people they don’t know or mix with people from different situations, to believe that they can have hopes and dreams which with hard work can be achieved. Some need more help and support to get to that stage, but isn’t that what we want for our kids, rather than being stuck in teenage immaturity and lie aspiration because we weee too scared to help them see more?